The dishes had a Tuscan air to them, orange, yellows and periwinkles in a slightly abstract floral design. We had had them for years with everything that matched them – canisters, serving plates, the works. It was time for a change. I know that white dishes highlight the colors of the food on them, but white is, well, boring. So, we did a little shopping and found some black dishes that looked slightly wobbly for lack of a better word. They were different, the salesperson said they would withstand my grandsons and I liked them. Something about their imperfection spoke to me. They went home with us.

Our artist son, upon inspecting the dishes immediately said “Oh! Wabi-sabi. Cool!” “Wabi what?” I asked. I soon learned that there was a reason that something as simple as dishes might be speaking to me. Let’s define wabi sabi.

Taken individually, wabi and sabi are two separate concepts:

• Wabi is about recognizing beauty in humble simplicity. It invites us to open our heart and detach from the vanity of materialism so we can experience spiritual richness instead.

• Sabi is concerned with the passage of time, the way all things grow, age, and decay, and how it manifests itself beautifully in objects. It suggests that beauty is hidden beneath the surface of what we actually see, even in what we initially perceive as broken.

(Omar Itani, 5 Teachings From The Japanese Wabi Sabi Philosophy That Can Drastically Improve Your Life, April 23, 2021)

The author lists five teachings that he believes can take us away from the struggles of moving fast, striving for perfection and chasing inorganic forms of success. One of them spoke to me.

All things in life, including you, are in an imperfect state of flux, so strive not for perfection, but for excellence instead.

The black dishes are not symmetrical, the edges are not even, the surface is not completely smooth, and yet they are beautiful in their simplicity. They are strong and make a statement. Not at all perfect, right? But perfection is arbitrary, defined by someone’s idea of what perfection should be. Do you know how many perfect eyebrows I’ve seen in my 63 years? We throw around the word perfect so easily and set ourselves up for failure. There’s no point in striving for perfection because a)it’s usually someone else’s perception and b)it’s not achievable. People work their entire lives in pursuit of the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect partner and it will never happen. What a waste of time. My husband and I were discussing this the other day. Both of us have changed and grown at different rates over the years. While others may perceive us as having achieved perfection over 42 years of marriage, we’re just figuring out to go with the flow because our relationship changes daily. It’s that flux thing that gets in the way. We’re changing, our opportunities are changing, our family changes, our attitudes change and we age, the ultimate change. However, the fact that we work daily on our relationship is striving for excellence and THAT we can do. We are imperfect and all we can do it our best and be ourselves. In all of our wobbly, wabi-sabi ways. As our bodies shift weight, the wrinkles set in and our memory comes and goes, we’re still a work of art. Most days I have trouble believing it, but you know, I’m being to understand that I’m ok the way I am. Of course, this may change when I look in the mirror in the morning.

In our culture, we’re constantly bombarded with the pursuit of perfection when instead we should work to see the wabi-sabi in life, finding beauty in imperfection.