For years I have been struggling with the concept of Joy.  What does it feel like, should I feel it all the time, is there something wrong with me that I don’t?  As a Christian, I always felt that I was supposed to feel this joy, no matter the circumstances and felt guilty that I didn’t have this sense of joy all the time. However, I think I’m finally starting to get it and it lies somewhere within the bittersweet. 

Bittersweet for me, to put it simply are those times where something is so special, so joyful, that you smile through your tears.  The first time you’ve seen the beach in years, the sunlight falling just right in a room you love, watching someone do something they love, listening to that favorite piece of music at just the right time – the list could go on and on.  The feeling that wells up inside and straight to your tear ducts to the point you feel your chest could just burst with joy. What I’m beginning to understand, after all these years, is that these moments of joy happen all the time, we just don’t always take the time to stop and look or listen.

I think I’ve stopped trying to create joy and work to see what is already there instead.  I saw it in the sunlight coming through the window in a restaurant the other day and I saw it in the conversation my sons were laughing through during the holidays.  It’s in that long hot shower on a weekend and those great fuzzy socks given to you by a friend. There’s a deep, slow breath and for that brief moment, you’re in the presence of joy.  Sometimes it lingers, but most times you can only see it in passing.  Either way, it’s taking the time to slow down, look around, listen and wait for it to come to you. It’s also that childlike wonder at something that you see all the time but for some reason, this time you see it differently and it’s amazing.

I don’t know that anyone feels joy all the time.  I would think that if someone did, it would become hard to discern after a while. I’m thinking that if I had bacon every morning…. Ok, maybe that’s a bad example.  And anyway, let’s face it – life is hard for everyone.  Everyone in this life is touched by sadness, loss, grief, and those little everyday struggles that pile up making  it easy to sit and wallow. But I think it’s those glimpses of joy in the everyday that gives us hope that tomorrow will be better, that life is worth the struggle. 

I wonder if people have lost their joy because we’ve gotten away from the real and have embraced a virtual lifestyle.  I’m especially concerned about children who have been handed devices from almost birth and wonder if they’ll ever experience enough “real” to find joy. Joy only comes through real life experienced through the senses.  Stop taking pictures with your phone and just experience the sunsets, the fireworks, the first steps, the taste and smell of delicious food.  Look at and talk with your loved ones rather than take selfies.  I suppose selfies could last on a cloud forever but experiencing something with a person you love may only happen once in your lifetime.  Try to REALLY experience it and cling to your memories of that moment.

I’ve been making a point of just sitting and taking in all the sights and sounds of places and people lately.  Sure, there will always be the “running away” pictures, but once I get to where I’m going, whether it’s to the local middle school to watch my grandsons play basketball or play trombone, or just sitting on the couch with my best friend, watching him read while I write this blog, I just want to experience the small joys in the moment.