It was the perfect scenario.  The cloudless bright blue sky, about 70 degrees, driving the bug listening to music on my way to get the hair done.  Pretty much an all about pampering me day.  Except for one thing.  I realize about halfway there that I’m tensely clutching the steering wheel.  I don’t feel nervous and quite frankly, I love to drive. I purposefully make myself relax my hands and arms and focus on all the great stuff going on around me and before I know it, I’m doing it again.

I get to the hair salon with the same person I’ve been with now for probably 15 years. I trust and know her well.  I make jokes and small talk with the manager who knows me by name and say hi to other stylists.  Under the cape, my hands in my lap are clenched into fists.  There’s no reason to be tense – I’m in very familiar, comfortable surroundings and yet I have to tell myself to let the hands relax again, purposefully laying the hands flat on my lap.

Even bedtime and sleeping is not without it’s clenching.  I often wake up to clenched fists and have at times clutched my arm so tightly that my fingerprints stay there for a long time before they fade away.  Despite the fact that I feel safe and am with family who loves me, my go to position is clenching my fists.  This is the anxiety I have lived with for as long as I can remember and it only gets worse in less familiar or more stressful circumstances.  It has been a part of my life for so long, something that is with me every minute of every day, that for the longest time I didn’t realize it was happening.

I know there are others out there who understand.  For some of us it may be the way we’re wired, for others it may be from a difficult upbringing or PTSD.  It is not something you can will away.  It is part of your psyche and in my case, I’m learning to be aware of it.    And for those of us who deal with this, we may compensate by doing negatives things like overeating or drinking alcohol, or more positive things like breathing exercises, and meditation.  And there are those of us who need to seek out counseling and medication as well.

Chances are, you know someone with anxiety.  Slightly over 18% of the adult population in the U.S. is affected by it and yet only 37% of those people seek treatment.  It’s a bit of a Catch 22.  If I have anxiety, chances are I’m too anxious to seek out help, especially if I can stuff it down and hide it to where you can’t see it.  And chances are, if you know someone who’s anxious, they’re more likely to be depressed.  So often, people who are anxious and/or depressed are masters of hiding how they really feel.  I know personally that one of my anxieties is that if people know, that I will be judged negatively which leads to more – you get it – anxiety.  So it’s just easier to hide behind the mask.

It’s difficult to explain this to someone who has not experienced it.  Everything seems just fine, life is good, so perhaps you’re just focused too much on the negative or feeling sorry for yourself.  Maybe you just want attention or you just need to work on being grateful.  All very disheartening to someone who may just have a chemical imbalance or a genetic disposition to anxiety.

So why bring this up?  Because despite the fact that my significant other knows and helps me, that I’ve sought out a doctor and counselor’s help and am on medication, I still struggle with it.  Don’t get me wrong, life is GOOD with a capital G but I’m still clutching the wheel.  If you’re suffering from anxiety, don’t be too anxious to ask for help. If you don’t suffer from it, try to be more aware of your friends and loved ones who may be dealing with this.  Your support, not trying to fix it, means more than you know and perhaps you can help someone you love who is clutching the wheel.

The building of the hedge began in August of 1983.  He was born the Wednesday of band camp (of course), a beautiful, perfect little boy, slightly early and a tad bit yellow, but a great beginning to the hedge.  We had chosen both a girls name and a boy’s name, but obviously Aaron Douglas won out.  The child, the first grand baby on both sides of the family, was spoiled to death by his grandparents and his aunts.  Band camp staff attended his first four birthdays, along with a few friends and all attention was on him.  That is, until September of 1987.

The hedge continued with the addition of another boy, 6 weeks early, tiny, bruised and with a broken collarbone from birth, transferred quickly to a hospital 40 miles away.  Again we had chosen both boys and girls names, but David Kendall burst upon the scene slightly after midnight, beating the anesthesiologist to the room.  This addition to the hedge stayed in the hospital for all of those 6 weeks, coming home in November, about the time he should have arrived.  I’m not sure he was well received by his older brother, the one who had had all of the attention for a while, and this new little one for sure needed some attention.  I’m pleased to say he has grown up to be a funny, creative, highly intelligent young man, but he certainly kept us, and continues to keep us on our toes.

We thought the hedge was finished when a third member of the hedge surprised us in 1990.  Arriving 7 weeks early, but in much better shape than his older brother, we should have known we were going to be in trouble when even as a preemie he would “fight” the nurses and cry whenever they arrived at his bassinet.  Jacob Tyler rounded out and completed the hedge.  Known as the Bush Boyz by family, friends and band members, these guys had fun, occasionally got hurt and more than occasionally got themselves into trouble.  They fought and argued but woe be to anyone from the outside who tried to mess with one of them.

Our home was full of action figures with little pieces to step on, video games, and nerf guns.  They did things like pile every pillow in the house at the bottom of the stairs against the front door and take turns sliding down on the top of their toy box, slamming into the pillows, laughing like crazy before running back up the stairs.  They ran around the house in their underwear until I would make them get dressed, and their wardrobe consisted mostly of jeans, shorts and graphic t-shirts.  Not a bit of pink or purple to be seen, and many days I felt like a frat mom, especially when they all hit the teen years.

After 27 years of raising three boys, the thoughts turn occasionally to grandchildren.  THIS was where I would finally get to buy all the girly things I ever wanted to buy, and spoil her like crazy.  I made my mother a grandmother at the tender age of 45 but it wouldn’t be until I was 58 that I would be a grandma, but not to a frilly little girl.  No, we were destined to add to the hedge with an awesome 10 year old, red haired, freckle faced, talk a mile a minute, loves to read everything in sight BOY.  Sterling James joined the hedge last July and just today, his cutie patootie little brother Payton Ryker joined him.

I watched them this afternoon in front of a local restaurant after the adoption as they sat in the bushes outside saying “Hey look!  We’re the Bushes in the bushes!”.  They’re proud to be a part of this family and I’m proud of my son and daughter-in-love for opening their home and hearts to them.  It’s amazing how quickly you can fall in love with a child you didn’t know a year or two ago.  And despite the fact that again I have boys, it’s very familiar territory, with the occasional brotherly argument, as they play with action figures, video games and nerf guns.  The hedge continues to be built and we’ll just have to wait to see what happens next.

Not so long ago, being “old school” meant preferring paper and pencil to a computer, or, in other words, using or doing something more old fashioned or traditional.   Now it seems, being “old school”, especially when paired with someone who is considered to be of a more advanced age, is more of a call to judgement.  If you are “old school”, or more traditional in your thinking, you are not progressive and this apparently is BAD.  Again, when paired with a perception of age, it seems it is a reason to dismiss any contribution someone might have.  There is nothing more insulting or dismissive than someone laughing and saying in a condescending way, “oh you’re so old school”.

Of course, I remember when I was younger thinking that my parents and my teachers were SO OLD and they just didn’t get it.  It wasn’t because they didn’t get it, it was because I didn’t have the experience to understand the vastness of their experiences and insight.  This is not to say that now I agree with everything they did or said, but I see them through different eyes and tend to understand it.  That’s true with anything.  Unless you’re someone who is futuristic in their thinking, or perhaps an “old soul”, while it is hoped you’ll want to learn from someone with experience, sometimes you must experience it yourself before you get it.  The older I get, the more I appreciate learning from old and young alike – there are always things to learn from everyone and innovation can happens when you sync the two.

And that is what I’ve been telling myself as I work with younger colleagues who, because of their experiences from a totally techie or digital standpoint, cannot yet understand that there are and have been other ways of doing things.  That’s not to say that either is bad or good, but sometimes you need to look at a situation or child and decide, from a myriad of choices, both traditional and progressive, what is best for the child.  What we tend to do as a culture who craves constant change is to throw the baby out with the bathwater or change for change sake.  Change can be great.  It can also be counterproductive if there is no thought of the possible end product beforehand and no consideration of the past.  What is it they say?  If you don’t learn from the past you are doomed to repeat it?  It could mean anything from staying in a large rut to destroying a group of people.  It’s important to learn from people who have lived the past.

What I’m concerned about is that a part of our population (25%) is being dismissed because they may be labeled “old school”.  In progressive language it might be referred to as ageism (because EVERYthing needs to have an -ism at the end of it) or in more traditional language, it can be just plain old disrespect.  In more traditional cultures around the world, older people are honored, respected and considered to have wisdom.  You don’t have to be well educated or wealthy to have wisdom, you just have to have some life experience. In some cultures, however, if you can’t tweet, snapchat, take selfies or make friends with Alexa and Siri so you don’t have to get up to turn anything on or off, then you’re obviously a relic, behind the times, useless.

Before you, the reader, makes a judgement call about me, you should know that I write my blog on my laptop on a webpage I put together myself (not a very good one yet but I’m working on it!), I tweet, take the occasional selfie and yes, I talk to Alexa and ask her to play Baby Shark to drive everyone crazy.  Oh, and I was born before the Beatles became a thing.  Always being willing to learn is what I believe makes a person ageless.  That said, because of my age and what I’ve learned, both old and new, I have a pretty good repertoire to choose from when making decisions or learning something else new.  And I’ve made my share of mistakes which I hear is ok to do these days because you can learn from those too.  So to lump all people above some imaginary age line and decide they’re old school is at the least inaccurate and at the most,  actually pretty insulting.

So, what to do?  It works both ways.  Yes, it’s easy to say younger people should be learning from me, but the truth is, I tend to learn from them as well.  Sometimes all it takes is building a relationship with a PERSON, regardless of age, listen to them, learn who they are and what they’ve experienced and learn from each other.  Get rid of the labels like Baby Boomers and Millennials with their list of characteristics and just get to know each other as people.  Then we can joke about being old school because maybe after all my experience, I prefer to be old school.

 

The little guy in the high chair was maybe 18 months old.  This is the age where you bring snacks to tide the child over until the actual food gets there and several toys to keep them occupied.  However, this child had neither of these.  His young parents sat on either side of him having a quiet conversation with the child watching them.  Occasionally the child would say something and what I noticed was that one or both of the parents very quietly paid attention, made eye contact and responded.  This continued throughout their meal with the child using his spoon as best he could, imitating his parents, and joining the conversation.  Did I mention there were no screens at the table?

Today I saw a video of another child and his dad, the child old enough to sit up and speak in nonsense syllables, watching something together on the couch.  Instead of just watching, the two were having a great conversation, the dad reacting to every nonsense word with expression, having fun, but taking the child seriously.  You should see how the child gestures, imitates facial expressions, makes eye contact and believes he is talking because the dad is fully engaged.  This is how children learn language, by imitation.  It’s also the way they learn how to build relationships – not by just sharing something they saw or read on a screen, but by being fully engaged with another human being.

Now granted, these may be two naturally compliant children, and having raised three in the same house, I can tell you, not all children are compliant.  However, expectations and  inclusion in family activities at a young age can be taught when we aren’t throwing screens in front of kids.  This coming from a mom who got breaks from the craziness of child rearing by throwing a video into the VCR.  (You young people can look that up).  I get it – sometimes parents need a break.  But how hard is it to put down the screen or limit the screen time to get to know each other a bit?

Apparently it’s really difficult.  I’ve seen entire families on screens when they go out to eat.  Again, guilty as charged.  My husband and I are working to keep the phones put away when we go out.  After all, every text or email we get is not earth shattering.  It can wait for a little while, and even after 40 years, there is still more to learn and love about each other.  That’s the beauty of building relationships – as we develop as people, our relationships grow and change as well – IF we stay away from the screens.

The parents I talked about in the two stories were what we might label millennials, and if they’re the example of this generation, I’m encouraged.  While I still see some adults locked into their screens while their children walk 10 feet behind them in a parking lot, my hope is that most are becoming aware that too much screen time is bad for everyone and that spending quality time talking to, playing with and working beside their children will help them grow into great adults who know how to speak and listen to others and develop meaningful face to face relationships.

Where my concern lies now is within our schools, where technology is no longer a tool but a way of teaching, to the point where I believe that developing a relationship between teacher and student becomes more difficult.  We’re raising a generation of information getters and not knowledge seekers.  When information is available at the press of a button, why would I have to learn it?  Programmed curriculum and assessments get in the way of getting to know individual children, having deep questioning, conversation and debates.  You see, sometimes, some of these really deep discussions have little to do with the subject matter itself, but how it relates to people, how to collaborate and build relationships with them.  There’s not a computer out there that can out think a group of teachers having a deep conversation about the welfare of a child or a group of children making discoveries and coming to their own conclusions.  That again is the beauty of working with others and building those relationships.

As I said, as we develop as people, there are goals to be set and changes to be made.  Working to really make eye contact with my family and my students and listening to them, not getting lost in the busyness of of my life is certainly a life goal.  Maybe it’s time to limit or eliminate the screens from our children’s lives, return to the work of building relationships and look them in the eye.

You may think you don’t know what your passion is, but the truth is, you do.  It’s the thing that gets your righteous anger stirred up when you see something mishandled or someone treated unfairly.  It’s what brings tears of joy when you see it done well and the results that help others.  It’s usually where you invest your time, talent or money which may or may not be tied to your career or job choice.

Where I think we get confused is when we or others try to link our passion to a particular party or group, philosophy or belief system, leading to generalizations about us that may or may not be true.  Life is complicated.  I may have many reasons why something is a passion for me. It usually has to do with a strong relationship with someone or something.  I have never in my life said, I’m a Republican or a Democrat so I must be passionate about this, that and the other.  In that case, we would literally be putting the cart before the horse.  These are MY personal convictions, based on MY personal experiences.

We look to groups who seem to share our passions and while we might contribute monetarily or join in on the occasional rally or email blast, are we really serving our purpose here on earth?  If we weren’t afraid to do or say something that we knew could make a difference, what would we do?  Are we afraid of people accusing us of believing a certain way or being with a certain party, or (gasp!) not liking us on social media?  In today’s culture with its lack of civility and having lost the art of debate, nobody says what they really believe – most of us just try to fit in and not make waves.  So many of us, especially those of us who are introverts who run at the very idea of conflict, keep thoughts to themselves, perhaps squelching that passion and those ideas that could make a real difference because it’s what we were made for.

Education has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember.  I loved school and as a kid, the idea of teaching was fun.  Things obviously change as you grow older and the passion begins to focus.  First it was just education, then music education, then general music education, obviously from the dreaming to doing stages.  My passion for a cause began when I began learning about educating the whole child and how music plays such a part in that education.  And the passion continues to focus as I learn more and more and I find myself wanting to share that passion, either through my writing or speaking.  Never once did I check to see if my passion fit a party, a particular social group, or belief system.  This is the thing that floats my boat, that gets me excited, the thing that can get me talking a mile a minute whether you want to hear me or not.

As I grow older, the urgency do something to improve the educational system for the children in this country increases.  Our system of public education has never been perfect in this country, but it has so much potential if people would just stop arguing with each other, stop thinking politically, stop thinking only in terms of money, and begin thinking about the children.  There are some great things happening in education and the word needs to get out.  Places where children are learning and thriving with educators who are thinking differently from what some accepted research tells us we should be doing.  Places where children are allowed to experiment and create, to play and build relationships.  Places where children are being held accountable for their behavior/actions and are learning to be kind people.  I’m just crazy enough to believe this should be reality for all children.

I’m under no delusion that my little words are going to change the world, but if they  could affect one small corner of it, I would maybe fulfill my purpose.  Imagine if all of us were not afraid to do whatever it takes to fulfill the purpose you were put on earth for.  To not feel like you have to align yourself to any particular party or faith or group to accomplish something for others.  I’m not saying there’s not power in numbers, but sometimes it just takes that one small passionate voice to make a difference and serve your purpose.

I admit it. I kept hitting the snooze this morning, knowing full well how much time it takes me to get ready and get out in the morning.  And this morning I knew I had something to do – back to the old professional development.  Just when I was getting into summer mode.  Anyway, I pushed it to the bitter end, taking everything into consideration so that I would pull up, park, walk in and be in place right at 10:00 a.m.  Except I didn’t take into account that there wouldn’t be any parking.

So, I’m thinking, how bad could it be?   I’ll just walk in quietly a few minutes late, right? I’ll slip in the back and get right in the swing.  Besides, I know this bunch – they’ll be talking and catching up even though it’s been less than a week since school let out.  I follow the signs to the rooms where the PD is being held and there’s no way to know which class is which, except for the room with all the general music teachers, already singing and playing instruments on the floor.  Not what I’m doing today.  I walk to another room where everyone is facing me (gulp) and it’s dead quiet except for one person who is is introducing herself with pronouns.  I walk in quietly, sit in the front row, in front of the guest speaker (gulp #2) and realize I have to introduce myself.  “And last but not least…” the speaker says, pointing to me. “My name is Judy Bush, and yes I’m late but that’s just how I roll”. THAT’S JUST HOW I ROLL??!!??

Why in the world did I just say that?  My attempt at being funny?  Nervousness?  There was a quiet little laugh from a few but as soon as it came out of my mouth I regretted it.  “I’ve been at my current elementary for three years but just finished my 28th year of teaching”.  My lack of professionalism on many fronts contradicted my years of experience at that point. What must my colleagues think of me?  That I’m too good to show up on time?  That I don’t care that I didn’t show up on time?

The speaker was very gracious and proceeded to go into his presentation on running a vocal rehearsal, something I could definitely use a refresher on.  About fifteen minutes into the presentation he starts to talk about punctuality; “to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late and to be late is unacceptable”.  I could feel my body sinking into my chair.  Not only was I late but I seemed unapologetic for it.  “That’s just how I roll”??!!??  Seriously?  All I could think of was what would my high school band director say to me.  It wouldn’t be good.

I later apologized to the speaker for my lateness and shared with him the fact that he had convicted me for sure.  Even at my age with my experience, I still make horrid mistakes sometimes.  It’s what keeps me humble whenever I start to feel like I’m all that.  Again, the man was gracious and laughed at it, probably knowing that it won’t happen again.

But that’s the thing about life.  Just when you think you’ve got it, life reminds you that you don’t.  A great thing to remember when I have kids in my classroom.  They’re going to do and say things that are not ok, but before I get on them, I need to remember to be a good example first and be careful of the things that pop out of my mouth as well.  Not what I expected to learn today during my professional development but definitely a lesson worth re-learning.  Cause that’s just how I roll.

A teacher’s year is much like the change of seasons in Nebraska.  No transition at all between school and summer break.  Seriously – one day I’m moving like crazy getting my room taken apart and cleaned up for summer right after I’ve finished teaching, leading the school song for an assembly and doing music for 5th grade graduation and BAM!  I’m at home, sitting on the couch trying to figure out what I want to do and using the bathroom whenever I want to.  It’s quite the adjustment.

I don’t know about other teachers, but it usually takes about a week for me to get adjusted to the new season.  Of course, I have to go in for a day of professional development within the first week, so I can’t really relax yet.  It’s like a great cosmic joke – hey teachers – you’re off for the summer!  Oops – just kidding.  For 28 years I’ve been doing this craziness for one reason and one reason only – I believe in a great public education for every child.

However, after 28 years, I have to say I believe our public education system is at a crossroad.  Public education is something I believe in with my whole heart, but there’s a reason why alternatives are popping up across the country and from a parent point of view, I don’t believe it’s about the money.  I believe that parents are looking for places where their children can be successful, receive a great education, be loved and accepted.  While there are still great things going on in public education today, there are also some very disturbing things happening as well.

First, there seems to be a lack of discipline and consequences for students who struggle with behavior issues.  This is not necessarily a teacher issue, but from where I stand, it’s a cultural issue where we’re not allowed to do those things we need to in order to help children learn to be accountable for their actions.  We’re all about rewarding kids for the least little thing they do, most times for things they should be doing for the sake of doing them, but we’re hesitant to make kids accountable.  This leads to issues in classroom management which ultimately affects student engagement and learning. Not just for the student misbehaving, but for others in the class, something that parents are not happy about.

Teachers are not treated or respected as the professionals they’ve been trained to be.  Those outside the classroom are telling teachers and districts what to teach, who to teach, when to teach, what to assess and when.  There is little leeway for teachers to use their professional judgement to make changes for their individual students.  Instead of us producing well rounded students, we’re doing nothing but focusing on the tested subjects – reading, math and sometimes science.  Those subjects that are the most organic to us as human beings – art, music, physical education – are the first to be cut or reduced.  No wonder parents are looking for alternatives!

Students are expected to be ready for academics the second they walk in the door for Kindergarten.  What used to be taught in Kindergarten is taught in preschool, raising the expectation that kids should be ready to hit the books now.  What if a child doesn’t attend preschool or the parent opts out to let them be a kid?  We’ve stopped taking time to teach kids social skills so they CAN learn in a classroom setting.  Like accountability, students also need to be taught how to be friends, how to share, how to be kind and responsible.  I don’t believe character traits can be arbitrarily thrown in while we’re teaching academics – it needs to be taught before.  Sure, I have kinders who can read really well, but they also still hit someone when they sit on what they perceive to be their dot in the circle. Having well read mathematicians who can’t be kind to others doesn’t make much sense to me.

Emphasis on academics apparently means that there must be MORE academics.  Which means less free time/recess.  Again, recess is a time of learning.  It’s a way for kids to learn how to work together and get along, to think for themselves and problem solve. Things they’ll need for a lifetime.  However, what happens is that recess time is reduced and adults get in the way trying to referee everything, telling them what they can and can’t do instead of letting the kids figure it out for themselves.  But figuring it out takes time and we’ve taken that away from them.  Again, no wonder parents are looking for alternatives.

It’s not like we couldn’t change things.  The problem is that everything is more important than the child.  If we have a longer day so that children could have longer recesses, teachers will have to be paid more and districts won’t/can’t do that.  All the research tells us what’s really important for kids, more recess, more arts, but instead we have to listen to legislators who demand more accountability for teachers which means more testing, more stressed out kids, less time for actually teaching and learning.  We spend more time working on our strategies for teaching than we do teaching kids to learn how to learn.  Isn’t that the goal?  Don’t we want kids to become independent learners?

You know, people don’t look for alternative when things are going well.  Charter and private schools are popping up as options because the public school we love and believe in needs some work.  Just because it’s a publicly funded institution doesn’t mean we can’t work to do what’s best for kids.  I believe in kids and in public schools and I believe we can make things better.

It’s amazing what you can do with hula hoops, balls, sponges, water, parachutes, bubbles and sidewalk chalk.  It was a beautiful afternoon, bright sunshine and a hefty breeze and the smiles and laughter were everywhere.  The school quickly became a true community with parents and grandparents joining the teachers and students as field day commenced.

The teachers today were actually 5th grade students, having been trained earlier this morning to lead and teach the games to the younger kids.  There were opportunities for collaboration, working together as a team and opportunities to test yourself as an individual.  Introverted students were able to find time to refresh, perhaps sitting on a bench on the playground or with a quiet time of sidewalk chalk art, watching their friends try to catch bubbles.

It occurred to me, as I was watching the festivities, that this is how learning should be for children.  I watched the 5th graders take ownership, taking their tasks seriously, learning that it’s not always easy to get students to listen to what the teacher says.  I watched students help friends with special needs, encouraging and cheering them on.  I saw little friends comforting others with hugs and kind words, those who had taken a spill and maybe skinned a knee.

There was laughter in winning and losing as they understood that these were just games and they were working and learning together.  The tug-of-war was a great example of that as I watched the losing side squeal with laughter as they were pulled through the grass.  I’m sure their moms will appreciate the grass stained clothes with a little mud thrown in just for fun.

It was games like tug of war that were the best because kids had to find a way to work together, to work out strategies to help each other.  Whether it was that or working with the parachute in the wind, kids had to figure out how to work together.  Then there was the experimentation.  How do I balance a ball on top of a baton and carry it?  How fast can I go safely?  How do I hold a ball between my knees and move?  Do I walk or jump?  Do I go forward or sideways?  What worked best for my friend and can I make that work?  No fear of failure means more experimentation.  That’s the way learning should be.

Everyone played, nobody was left out, and everyone was encouraged.  They helped each other remember their water bottles, they moved to the next game at the sound of the whistle, they put water cups in the trash.  Clean up took about 5 minutes as everyone worked together.  THAT is what is means to be part of a team.  Why can’t school look like this EVERY day?

Of course, the research will tell you that this is how children learn best – through play.  The are more engaged when they can spend more time playing outside.  There are fewer issues with behavior when students get time to figure out things on their own and have the opportunity to help and teach others with teachers becoming facilitators.  And just think about it.  Ten years from now, these kids won’t remember the tests they took or the homework they did, they’ll remember field day and how they worked and played together.  They’ll remember their teachers smiling at and laughing with them.  They’ll remember having a simple popsicle afterwards.  Because this is the school of play.

 

The biggest problem with being a people pleaser and trying not to make waves is that sometimes you give up things that are important to you.  You try to convince yourself that it’s not that big a deal, and in some cases you find out that the thing maybe wasn’t as important as you thought.  But sometimes you discover that the thing you gave up is one of the things that brings joy to your life and you realize you’ve compromised your belief system.

In the last few months the content of my writing has been brought to my attention.  As my blog title states – a mid-life music teacher’s musings – it means I write about my thoughts concerning growing older and teaching music.  I believe my readers know when I’m writing from the heart and can tell when I’m just writing something just to write.  My goal is to take everyday events and make them relevant somehow, working to make people to think or feel just a little differently.  Much like my other love, music.

The joy of music, and now for me, writing, is that they are powerful forms of communication. Words have the power to make people think and even change how they think.  They can inform, make you laugh or cry, or persuade a person to act upon something they believe in.  The other side of this is that for me, writing is cathartic.  For many years of my life, I was either not allowed to say what I thought or was afraid to say what I thought.  The blog has helped me get over that fear, to organize my thoughts and to talk to my readers. For an introvert like myself, it’s the perfect way to get your thoughts out.

So, what does a conscientious writer do when their writing is questioned?  Well, at first you read it over and over again.  Was there thoughtlessness or maliciousness?  Was there any misinformation? Was everyone or everything within the story treated fairly? I tend to read what I write over and over again before I ever publish anyway and I work to never intentionally focus on any one person unless it’s in a positive light.

Humor comes from a lot of different places and working with kids – well it can come from anywhere anytime.  There are good days and bad days, hysterical behavior and sad behavior.  There are surprises in terms of the gifts you see in children, just when you think you’ve figured a kid out, they do something fantastic. Or you discover that a kid has overcome amazing hardships and is the very picture of grit.  These are the things that bring laughter or tears, allow us to see kids as little miracles, feel gratitude.  That’s the purpose of writing.

Now I find that I’m censoring myself and quite frankly, I’ve been miserable.  So a decision needs to be made.  Do I change what I write about because I’ve been questioned, or do I continue to do what I’ve done before, write with good intentions, working to make the writing as close to an art form as I can?  Life is short. I need to write what I feel strongly about, things I feel could make a difference in someone’s life or teaching.  I’ve decided to take back the joy.

What does it mean to be “professional”?  I can be A professional, meaning I have all the credentials I need to be defined as a professional, but even then, I may or may not ACT in a professional manner.  As you know I love to look at things from a grammatical standpoint, let’s look at the word as a noun.

I, for instance, am a professional.  I have worked to achieve all of the hours I needed to become certified in my particular profession.  Despite the fact that I may be referred to as many other things, a specialist, support staff, etc., I am a degreed professional educator with an emphasis in vocal music.  Anyone who works with children in a classroom has to fit this definition of professional.  It’s pretty black and white.

However, the adjective “professional” has a lot of gray areas because it comes from someone else’s perspective.  It depends on that person’s age, culture, background, upbringing, personal experience, etc., and with that can come many different opinions of what being or behaving professionally looks like.  I personally believe that part of being a professional is having leadership skills.  We’ll address that in a little bit.  Let’s begin with personal attributes of a professional.

I’ve always thought of a professional as a person who considers every aspect of themselves, from the way they look to the way they act to how they speak and treat others.  This is a person who does their job to the best of their ability, is a team player and someone who speaks kindly to and about those he or she works with.  A professional is someone who dresses the part, who comes to the job dressed appropriately for the type of work they do but always aware of what and who they represent.  This is where it gets really gray because it totally depends on what you do as a professional.  As a professional painter, you might wear something with paint on it as it makes sense.  As a professional teacher, unless you’re the art teacher, not so much.

The generation you were brought up in makes a difference.  My dad was adamant that professionals did not have tattoos.  People who had them were either grunts in the Army or from the wrong side of the tracks.  Not judging, just sharing a point of view.  Because of what he believed and taught me, it is hard for me to look at someone in another profession with a tattoo and not think that way.  Is it appropriate for a teacher for instance to have tattoos or multiple piercings and still be taken seriously as a professional?  Is it more accepted at the secondary level than the elementary level?  More acceptable for a man than a woman?

How about language?  Is it appropriate for a professional to use “salty” language in the workplace?  Is it appropriate to tell jokes that are a little on the “blue” side?  What if it’s just among friends at the water cooler or in the teacher’s lounge?  Is it considered professional at a meeting?  Is it less professional for a woman to say these things than it is a man?

What about ethics?  A professional does what they say they are going to do.  They try to find solutions and work with others.  For them, there really is no “I” in TEAM. It’s very easy to say your workplace is full of team players, but is it really a team or only until it inconveniences someone?  How does a professional treat their team members?  Is it really collaborative or are you only going to do what it says you have to do in your contract?  I’m not making judgements, just making the point of just how complicated being what others believe professional should and can be.

I mentioned leadership as a part of professionalism.  It’s doing the difficult or hard things, being honest in a kind way, speaking truth to help others and make things better.  It’s speaking face to face with someone when you have a problem or an issue so that you can work things out together and ask questions about the other person’s point of view.  It’s knowing that these kinds of encounters, though difficult, can actually build relationships, actually creating the team you strive to be.  Keeping these things to ourselves and speaking of it behind other’s backs only speaks of unprofessionalism and stifles the team building process.  Teams don’t have to be perfect, they just need to be kind, honest and not afraid to speak our thoughts in a professional manner.

Maybe we’re not teaching our young people what a professional is and how to act in a professional manner.  It’s hard – I know I’m certainly still learning. When we work so hard today to make everyone such a unique individual, sometimes we forget how to work together, which is so necessary within a professional community, as a professional.