“I have a funny story to tell you” laughed my mother-in-law.  We knew it had to be good if she was already laughing.  Apparently my father-in-law was being harassed by a bluebird. For a couple of days, this bluebird would peck on the front door and when it couldn’t get the attention it wanted or my father-in-law would try to shoo it away, it would fly around to the back of the house and peck on the back door.

Now, I would think this was pretty cool but I was not schooled in the ways of old wives tales or superstitions, in this particular case that a bluebird pecking on your window means that someone in the house is going to die.  So naturally, when this very persistent bird continued to visit, my father-in-law was getting a little nervous.  All he knew was he needed to get rid of this bird.

My aunt said that she had this same problem at her house with all of her large windows and she solved the problem by putting a picture of a person on the windows and it kept them away.  So, my mother-in-law looks for the biggest photograph she has of anyone in the house and it’s my father-in-law’s senior picture, a glorious 8×10.  So she makes a couple of copies of it and puts them on both doors.  And the bird kept pecking.

So a plan began to form in his mind.  He told my sister in law to go to her uncle’s house and in true Kentucky fashion, ask him to come over and shoot the bird.  So, he shows up at the house, gun in hand and shoots the bird on the porch.  My mother-in-law said she nearly jumped out of her skin and then, because he didn’t kill it with the first shot, he had to shoot it again.  Problem solved.  My husband’s response?  “Well, I really DID grow up in Kentucky”.

Okay, perhaps this was a bit overkill, all puns intended, but things can be a little different in the south.  And in this family, when they tell a story, they pull no punches, all with a sense of humor, all in fun, all in love.  These are the same people who would give you everything they had if you needed it, share their food with you and apologize for not having more, pray for you without ceasing, and hug you without reservation.  Just don’t be a bluebird knocking on my father-in-law’s door.

Anyone who knows me knows I am NOT a morning person.  My dream weekend is sleeping in as long as I want to and staying in my pj’s all day.  Lazy I know, but my life is seldom lazy.  During this time of year I tend to get to school while it’s still dark and leave as it’s getting dark.  But once in a while I get the opportunity to see a spectacular sunrise.

We boarded the plane very early this morning and de-iced in the dark.  I was all set to sleep but for some reason I was wide awake so I read for awhile with the overhead light on.  As it began to get light outside, I turned off the light and looked out the plane window.  The cloud cover below me looked like a solid, slightly fluffy,  gray carpet but the horizon was on fire.  The color was somewhere between fuchsia and blood red as the sun rose in the sky, a long line of color for as far as I could see against the gray.  As the sun rose higher in the sky, the fuchsia turned to a burnt orange, then a tangerine, then became lighter and lighter as the sun finely rose above the clouds, a big ball of orange sitting on the edge of those clouds.

If only I could capture this in a photo or a painting.  I quickly realized that nothing I could do would do it justice, so I made the conscious decision to just sit and look at it, marveling at the creativity of God, wishing I could do something more creative.

Today was a day where color brought a little room at an old church to life, bringing back memories of a day 60 years ago.  The tables were covered in white table cloths, red and white flowers, greenery, red berries, and silver sparkles to remember a wedding held in that church so long ago.  A simple white dress, hat and gloves were displayed along with pictures of a couple whose family has grown in size and in love.  There was thought and creativity displayed in the decorations and in the choosing of just the right pictures to place on the tables, alongside wedding gifts that are still being used.

Tomorrow we honor and celebrate the commitment of my mother and father in law to their marriage and family.  I’m not sure either wanted all this attention but their children certainly wanted the opportunity to bring friends and family together to celebrate. As we were talking tonight in their living room, they were kidding each other, she saying that she wasn’t sure she had wanted to get married.  He said he did and the smile that popped up on her face made me imagine the 19 year old girl she must have been, grinning at his silly jokes.

In them I see a glimpse into my own future, my husband being more like his father than he dares admit, both with the same quick wit and sense of humor, both compulsive, both quietly in charge, both marrying women named Judy.  Both Judys maybe wishing they hadn’t gotten married so early, but both knowing they wouldn’t have married anyone else.  It’s not a bad future but truly another God thing, much like the sunrise this morning that brought such beautiful light to the world.

It’s the time of year when my kids want to share songs and piano pieces that they’re doing for church or recitals and I have a couple of classes in particular where individual students ask quite often.  Today was no different as I had three students ask if they could share a couple of songs and a piano piece.

The fact that my kids feel safe and comfortable singing in front of their peers is wonderful.  While I want them to develop the skills to become better musicians, they understand that nobody is perfect and it’s okay to try and make mistakes.  My first little girl came up to the piano and played a simple version of Jingle Bells for us.  There was a little glitch at the end, but she patiently sounded it out and finished to applause from her classmates.

The second child wanted to sing the 2nd verse of Angels We Have Heard on High because she couldn’t remember it the last time she shared and now she could do both verses.  Not all the pitches were there but the smile and confidence were and she finished with a flourish.  As she sat back down, my third little girl stood up to sing.

This petite little girl with the ponytail and the big smile confidently walked to the front of the room where everyone waited to hear her sing.  Then these words drifted effortlessly out of her mouth – “Why did you put me through this hell….” and I immediately said “oops!  Let’s stop that song”.  I motioned for her to come over to me and I took that worried little face in my hands and said quietly, “honey, I’m not sure that song is appropriate for here, but don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.  Maybe we can choose another song for next time”.  She smiled her sweet little smile, said “okay” and bounced back to her seat while I surveyed the audience to see if anyone had caught on.  No,  apparently we lucked out.  Or maybe they heard and weren’t shocked?  That does concern me a little bit.

Okay, I should have known better than to just let a kid start singing in my class without asking first, and if she had been a 4th or 5th grader and not that sweet bubbly little girl, I probably would have.  It just never occurred to me that words like those would tumble from those lips.  Am I being naive?  Is this what kids are listening to at the age of eight?  Is this what parents are allowing them to listen to at the age of eight?  How in the world can an eight year old understand somebody putting you through hell?

Maybe it’s a song the adults listen to at home and they think it’s “cute” that she knows all the words.  Maybe she just picked it up listening to it and of course doesn’t have a clue as to what she’s singing.  So many times we sing songs in class and I have to be careful that they’re not too “childish” for them.  I’m not saying we can’t sing kid songs but they have to be wrapped in an accompaniment that’s either really fun to play or sounds like something they would listen to on the radio.  Or Spotify.  Or whatever the kids listen to music on these days.  Man do I sound old or what?

It makes me sad however that kids aren’t allowed to be kids anymore.  We seem to push them to become little adults at an earlier and earlier age.  It’s in how they talk, how they dress, how they color their hair (that one kills me) what they’re allowed to play and what music they’re allowed to listen to.  It goes back to one of my previous blogs where I asked the question, do tech savvy kids make us think they’re more mature than they are?  Or is it just easier as adults to let them do what they want to do, regardless of the damage it may cause.  After all, it’s easier to quiet a toddler with a screen than to actually engage in conversation or reading or singing with the child.

So lesson learned.  Never judge a book by its cover and always ask first what they’ll be singing for us.  Otherwise, next thing you know I’ll have some sweet little kid singing something like “Stairway to Heaven” or “Highway to Hell” to the class.

 

 

Can there ever be too many stories about Kindergarten?  Today they show up at my door with a motivational promise from their classroom teacher.  If they can do well in music behaviorally today, they earn a reindeer!!  They’re so excited!  As the come into my room, per the usual, they begin sharing things with me like how many reindeer they’ve already earned and how they get to do extra “stations” if they earn one more.  Or how they JUST lost a tooth in math class.  Then there’s the one child who comes in with the stream of consciousness…

“Mrs. Bush!  We’re going to go my my aunt and uncle’s house – I mean my grandmas – no my aunt and uncles house for opening presents but we also got presents for THEM to open and after that we will eat and then we will play a Santa bingo game.  No, not my aunt and uncles, my grandmas is where we will open presents and play Santa bingo….”  This of course takes much longer than it reads because it’s interrupted with lots of “ands” and “ums” along the way.  Meanwhile, I have 17 other little people kind-of following my direction of finding a dot to sit on so I find a place to stop the sweet little girl and focus on the bigger picture.

I explain that it’s Tuesday and tomorrow is…Wednesday! and the next day is…Thursday! and Thursday is when we do our sing-along with the whole school!! So I begin the music  on iTunes and here we go.  As soon as it starts, a little boy asks if I can tie his shoe, so I say of course and he continues to explain that it has a knot, pulling it even harder to prove it to me.  I have him hand me his shoe, all the while still attempting to sing with the kids, move the power point ahead and untie the knot.  The knot comes out, I hand him the shoe, to which he responds, “this one has a knot too!”  So I untie that one, as I walk around and move a kid who can’t seem to keep his hands to himself while sending a another kid to the bathroom because it’s an “emergency” which begins an entire epidemic of “emergency” bathroom visits.  One little girl comes back and has caught her finger in the stall door so we’re at the sink washing it out and applying a bandaid.

The holiday music is still going as I remember oh yes, I’m supposed to be teaching  something here.  The first little girl, the one with the stream of consciousness, stands up and tries to begin another story, which I stop quickly while attempting to do movement to whatever song is up next and then I have a little guy who gets way too enthusiastic with his movement – again.  So while we’re still trying to sing, I ask him to go to the “buddy” room to to calm down a bit and the temper tantrum begins.  Still keeping an eye on the rest of my cherubs, I proceed to give my little tantrum maker two choices but of course it takes a while, some stern-ness on my part and a friend to walk him to the gym.  Did I mention that this was a short 35 minute class?

We got to the end of the class where lining them up to go resembled the rest of the class and one of the little guys actually asked “did we earn our reindeer?”.  Um, not so much, but I’m pretty sure I did.

Concert season is over for me and after stops at four different places for donut holes, donuts, milk, juice, cups and plates, I arrived at school this morning with a trunkful of breakfast for 60 choir kids to celebrate.  A handful were waiting for me at the door, eager to grab stuff out of my car to get set up.  After a few instructions, my kids did a great job setting up a buffet line, cutting donuts in half, opening containers, and pouring drinks.  By the time the rest of the kids showed up, it was ready to go and they were certainly ready to eat.

“How much can we have?” was the first question.  I was in such a hurry this morning, not being able to find exactly what I needed at any one place that I just bought stuff, hoping I had enough for everyone.  We started out with three donut holes and one half a donut and discovered we had plenty for seconds and thirds.  The milk and juice kept flowing while The Grinch played on the white board, kids sitting on the floor.

“How much did you spend on us Mrs. Bush?”  You don’t want to know, I answered.  “You must love us!”.  Yes, I must love you.  The thank you’s and hugs flowed freely from this great bunch of kids.  Oh yes, they talk WAY too much, but they sing like angels and they’re just good kids.  There was a small crew of kids who kept things cleaned up, throwing trash away and pouring drinks for others unselfishly. So yes, I spent some bucks on them, but what better way to let kids know you care than have a donut party before school?

It’s also a recruiting tool to be quite honest.  When word gets out that we do this, I pick up quite a few kids second semester.  Whatever it takes, right?  It’s getting them involved in making music and that’s the bottom line.  This also becomes a time for camaraderie, boys and girls together who have one important thing in common.  When “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch” came on, most of the kids began singing together, such a natural/organic  thing to do when you carry your instrument with you.

So yes, I must love them.  It’s hard not to.  I’ll have to remember that when rehearsals begin in January.

Four days left.  At the very end of those four days is probably my least favorite time of year, the before holiday break sing-a-long.  That magical 30-45 minute stretch of time at the very end of the very last day before break with 500+ students hopefully singing holiday songs together.

Just think about how fortunate I am.  I GET to just sing holiday songs with my kids and have fun!  What most people fail to realize is that I have to either teach or review those songs before we do the sing-a-long.  So we’re talking the same songs all day, every day for at least two to three weeks since I only see them once a week.  That translates to singing Blitzen’s Boogie at least 50 times before that magical end of day.  Sure it’s fun for the kids as they’ve only had to hear it 2-3 times but I would rather not hear it in my sleep anymore.

I used to love holiday songs, Christmas songs in particular.  Beautiful melodies, twinkling lights, Christmas trees, blah, blah, blah.   Now what I get is Rudolph “like a lightbulb” over and over again.  And have you ever tried teaching a song with a lot of words to children who can’t read yet?  Let’s just say they’ll only be singing the “fa la las” for Deck the Hall and not the rest of the lyrics.

When I first took over the sing-a-long at my previous school, I used the overhead projector, transparencies and CD’s from our curriculum.  It was this frantic switch after each song of each transparency to the next and taking the CD out of the boombox and putting in the next one before I lost the kids during the transition.  Thank goodness for iTunes where I could actually put together a playlist!

Then came the projector to go with my computer and I could put together a powerpoint with the words to tie into the i-Tunes.  I could rehearse with it AND let a 5th grader handle the changes in the powerpoint slides.  A lot less crazy than the earlier way.  This worked just great until airplay came along.  Who knew you couldn’t play iTunes AND do powerpoint at the same time?!?  Back to the drawing board.

So I go to bed tonight, knowing that I’m going to be bored out of my mind for the next four days with the only consolation being that when I put on “I’m getting nuttin’ for Christmas” or “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch”, kids are going to cheer and say “I LOVE that song!”.  After all, it’s all for the kids, right?  Bring on the sing-a-long!

 

 

I admit it.  I was wrong.  For as long as I can remember I have been promoting, advocating and fighting for music as an academic subject.  I rejoiced with my colleagues when ESSA (Every Student Succeeds Act)  was passed and by law, music was listed as academic.  I have believed in doing whatever I needed to do to make music look like other subjects; similar questioning and engagement techniques, similar yet authentic assessments down to how you format essential learning outcomes and standards.  As music educators, we’ve worked hard to have our colleagues in other subject areas and administrators take us seriously as an academic subject.  Perhaps too hard.  I’m beginning to see I may have been wrong.  Music is not academic, it is organic.

Organic.  Completely natural.  Not something created by humans but firmly integrated within our human DNA.  Not something that has to be taught but cultivated instead.  Last year I had a student ask me why we had to go to music class.  My answer included physical education as well.  As human beings, we naturally want to move.  We roll over, reach, touch, crawl, walk and dance to music.  Then when we get to school, hopefully the PE teacher takes those organic, natural instincts and enhances them, using their knowledge of physiology, anatomy and child development to help students skip, run, jump and gallop.  We throw, toss and kick, using what is inside of us since birth.  It’s the same with music.  Remember when you used to sit and sing songs while you played, danced to music you heard or played “drums” on pots and pans? That is because it is part of who we are at birth.

Music, dance and visual arts are organic.  It’s something already inside of us as human beings, present in every culture and society in the world.  Archeologically speaking, evidence has been found that shows us that humans were creating art and music thousands of years ago.  It comes from a need to express ourselves, to communicate in a deep way with others or to record things we’ve seen, felt or done. Pretty sure I’ve never seen any mathematical equations written on cave walls or handmade slide rules made out of bone.

Now, I’m not saying that because a “subject” is organic that it shouldn’t be studied and/or improved upon.  I believe it is more important to cultivate those over other subjects that were created by humans. Unfortunately, we tend to look at anyone who does music, dance, visual art, or has some kind of physical prowess as being talented when in truth, chances are that person has taken his or her organic gifts and worked to improve themselves.

At my school, because I teach something outside of reading and math, or subjects considered “academic”,  I am labeled a specialist.  Is it because I focus on a subject that others feel uncomfortable with?  After all, our culture has taken something everyone can do at the beginning of their lives, deemed a few “talented” and apparently that’s all that’s important in terms of music.  Something that was so natural as a child has turned into something they are afraid of.  Perhaps if there was the same emphasis on the organic as there is on those academics created by man, we would retain more of our “human-ness”.  As I observe society today, it’s hard not to see a correlation between lack of emphasis on the organic in our schools and the deterioration of our culture.  Perhaps that’s what happens when education attempts to make all children the same in subjects  that are NOT organic and those children begin to forget what it means to be human.  Just a thought.

So rather than a specialist, perhaps I could be an organic facilitator?  How would that change how I think about where children are in their musical development?  How would that change the way I define and organize musical elements for students?  Could it be a more natural process?  Perhaps I should allow students to make music on their own and assist them in identifying the elements, giving them options in terms of creating.

As music educators, we’ve been fighting to be taken seriously as an academic subject for a long time.  Maybe it’s because we never were in the first place.  Maybe we’re something much more important, something separate from the cold world of curriculum and assessments, something that keeps us human in the best sense of the word.  Something organic.

I hate when my mind has no direction.  I literally walked back and forth across my living room floor this morning because I would remember something I needed, turn around and remember something else, then remember I didn’t get the first thing and have to go back.  There are way too many diverse things happening in my life right now and my usual strategy of compartmentalizing is NOT working.  It’s hard when everything happens at the same time.  This completely screws me up when trying to write because my mind shifts from one thing to another.

Like tomorrow.  I have two performances tomorrow.  I’m not sufficiently worried about it for some reason.  In fact, it caught me by surprise when I realized it was tomorrow.  Is this a problem?  It ought to be.  My day is so packed tomorrow by everything EXCEPT prepping for the concert that I have no choice.  Meetings, a shortened plan time, having to take kids while we’re setting up the stage.  I have to just go on automatic.  No pressure that I’ve got four professional musicians playing with my kids tomorrow and I haven’t quite figured out where I’m putting anything.  I suppose experience is good for something.  I wonder what classroom teachers would do if the results of their teaching had to be put on display in front of an audience of peers, colleagues, and parents.

Then I’m taking kids to the opera on Saturday.  I’m pretty sure that’s set to go.  Just hoping the content is pretty straight ahead and the director hasn’t gone off the deep end in an attempt to “modernize” the production.  Not everything has to be sex and violence, although it IS La Traviata….

Oh, and my kids want to do a fundraiser that seems to all have landed in my lap and boy am I behind!  In my spare time I suppose.  Before I do a school wide sing next week, at the end of the last day before break, because every teacher wants all the kids in the school to lead at the bitter end, of course.  None of this work is really assessable and so I feel like I end up wasting 2-3 weeks right before the end of the quarter.  And I’m so sick of holiday music I can’t begin to tell you.  Kinda ruins the holiday spirit.

I finally put up my Christmas tree this past weekend but haven’t even begun to shop for gifts.  Not sure when that’s going to happen.  Especially when we’re leaving the day after the last day of school to fly to Kentucky for my in-laws 60th anniversary.  A wonderful thing with marvelous people to hang out and celebrate with.  We’ll be back late on the 23rd.  Still no idea when gifts will be bought.

This lifestyle is not unique.  Ask any teacher, any MUSIC teacher and you’ll get very similar stories.  I’m grateful that I don’t have to raise children anymore – not sure how I did it back in the day.  Probably not very well.  So tonight, part of my therapy is to write with a glass of my favorite wine and contemplate how I’m going to get through my 12 hour work day tomorrow.  And when that day is over and I finally sit down for a dinner somewhere with my great husband, who by the way wrote an arrangement for horns for my choir and will perform with us, I will breathe for a little while until I have to turn in the next direction.

For the last several decades, I have managed to avoid watching video of myself.  I would avoid pictures too, but at least they only capture a moment and I can edit those if I want.  No, a video is something else however.  It can capture your voice, strange gestures and noises, and you see yourself in all your flawed glory.  Yes, there’s a reason I’ve avoided this.  Until now.

The last few weeks, we were “asked” to make a video of ourselves while teaching so that we could see what kinds of engagement and questioning strategies we were using – if any.  I was dreading this and waited until the last possible minute,  finally taking the plunge at the last class of the day because well – I had no other choice.  Ok, not so hard, but now I was going to have to watch it.

First thought – I REALLY have gained a ton of weight.  I knew it, but there are ways to disguise some of these things in pictures.  I really have to do something about that.  The second thing I noticed is that I have a nice speaking voice.  I had been told that but hadn’t actually heard myself for awhile.  Thirdly,  I can still sing pretty well.  I was afraid I had begun singing with the old lady vibrato, but apparently not.  It was a great relief.  And lastly, I was boring.  Seriously boring.  There was no energy, no spark, no creativity.  Just basically going through the motions.  I couldn’t even get to counting how many times I asked questions and how many different ways I asked them.  If I had had me as a teacher, I would hate it.

Ok, maybe it wasn’t my best day, after all, I regularly do pretty well on my observations anymore, but maybe that’s just because I know how to turn it on when I have to.  And it wasn’t the most exciting of lessons.  After all, it’s right before the holidays and I’m doing whatever I can to keep the class together and keep my sanity as well.  But the truth is, not only was I bored watching it, I was bored TEACHING it.  If I saw this person and had to decide whether or not they should be teaching…. well, it’s a good thing I didn’t.

That’s the thing about videos – it’s hard to hide things.  It’s hard to lie.  It catches whatever is happening in real time.  Now that I’ve seen it, it’s time to decide what I need to change.  Well, obviously, I need to lose some weight.  Duh.  But that has nothing to do with teaching – or does it?  Would I have more energy if I felt better?  Probably.  Might be something to consider.  Apparently I haven’t lost my bread and butter – my voice.  Again, grateful for that.  Now for the actual teaching.  It was pretty eye opening to see what I look like in action.  More like scary actually.  And truthful.  After 28 years, perhaps the time has come.  Kids deserve better and right now now I’m not giving them what they deserve.  Things to think about.

Kind of wishing that our assignment had been more open ended, to just observe ourselves and interpret rather than look at something so specific.  Maybe we missed the big picture.  Maybe I should take more videos.

 

If you ask any potential or new teacher, they will tell you that their number one concern is classroom management.  How will they be able to handle classroom to ensemble sized groups of multi aged students and accomplish the goals they have set?  How do you get students to follow your directions, maintain orderly transitions, work together without complaining and keep their attention?  It’s a crapshoot, that’s for sure.

There are many books out there that claim to have the secrets to keeping a well maintained classroom, with one book in particular having the egotistical title of “Classroom Management that Works!”.  My argument is that if it works, then why do we have all of these other classroom management books and why are teachers still struggling?  I would argue that while there some good basic strategies to keeping your classroom running smoothly that it’s more personality driven than technique driven.

There’s just something special about a teacher who is confident, energetic and passionate about kids.  It doesn’t seem to matter how young or old they are or how many years of experience they have.  Those teachers seem to hold their students in the palm of their hand.  I have had a couple of student teachers over the years who literally walked in the room and owned it and the kids LOVED them.  They’re usually a little quirky, don’t mind being silly and the kids follow directions because they love the teacher.

The truth is, teachers don’t want to “manage” students, they want to teach, relate, care for, guide, motivate and any other number of things, but manage isn’t something we strive to do.  If we truly “manage” students, are we allowing them to be themselves?  Classroom management isn’t really for them, it’s for us.  It’s so we can do what we need to do to get them down the hall or transition from one place to another without losing our minds. However, teachers who are engaging, who tell great stories, who make their subject fun and exciting don’t need the same kind of management strategies as a teacher who is virtually a robot, spitting out information given to them by some curriculum specialist.

Just between you and me, while I believe consistency for kids is important, what’s more important is for teachers to be themselves, unique individuals who handle things differently because it allows students to grow more flexible in terms of handling different people and situations.  It’s a life skill, something they’ll use every day as an adult whether it’s going to college or in whatever career they choose to pursue.

I believe unfortunately, that teachers who struggle with so-called classroom management strategies are more apt to leave the profession because we haven’t figured out that management doesn’t really work.  They try all the tricks they’ve been taught rather than just be themselves and build those relationships and all their dreams of being that teacher go out the window, leaving them discouraged and deflated.

Here’s my final point.  Managing hints at an attempt to “control” someone.  I hate to break it to you but the longer I teach, the more I’m discovering students who aren’t afraid to say what they think, whether it’s respectful or not, they’re not afraid to say no or refuse to do something and not blink an eye.  Some have parents who will back them saying things like teachers aren’t challenging them enough or allowing them to be creative.  Management in today’s culture is useless. Teaching teachers how to be themselves and making the most of building honest relationships with kids is the key.  Stop pursuing the myth of management and pursue those relationships!