I walked into the coffee shop wishing I had looked up this girl’s picture before I went but the day had been crazy and I just hadn’t found the time.  So I walked in, hoping I would figure it out when this lovely young woman walked up to me and asked if I was Judy.  SHE had gone on Facebook to look me up so she knew what I looked like.  I was already impressed with her.  As we sat down with our drinks an enthusiastic yet comfortable conversation began and at some point, as she was expressing some anxiety about all the newness to come, I told her not to worry, that we would figure it out together.  That’s when she surprised me by saying, “I wish I wasn’t a Type A and could be a Type B like you”.

I have to admit I was a bit taken aback because I’ve always considered myself a type A but the impression I gave apparently belied this.  Perhaps I’m beginning to learn to embrace the unexpected and my facial expressions are following.  After all these years, I’ve learned you can make all the plans you want for you and everyone else, but as Ian says in Jurassic Park, “life finds a way” to mess up all of those best laid plans.

The road in life is never a straight line, no matter how many plans you make.  Stuff happens.  At various points in my life I thought I would pursue music education, then musical theater, than accounting (yeah, I know), then back to music education, only this time in vocal music, not instrumental.  When I had children I had visions of their future, especially as I totally had their strengths figured out. All of them would go to college, be professionals, etc.  Well, I was only right about one and they’ve all gone in completely different directions than I would have anticipated in just about every aspect of their lives.

When I finally began teaching, I was just certain I would do this forever, but as always, life wants to make a turn.  I saw a quote put up by a former student teacher which spoke truth to me.  I’ve included it in this blog.  I’ve had the opportunity to do some things lately that have told me without a doubt why I’m here.  The question is, do I have the nerve to take a different path in order to make this warm glow a reality?  That takes planning of course, but it also takes being aware of that little voice that gives you hints and directions along the way.  Again, learning to deal with the unexpected in order to experience life.

There is a sense of urgency now that I haven’t experienced before.  The last 20 or so years of my life seem to have passed by very quickly.  The next 20 will also.  By then I better have followed those detours I’ve heard that little voice tell me about or my dreams won’t stand a chance of coming to fruition.  Time is the unknown factor as recently I’ve seen young people dying, and have seen people I’ve known for many years reach that time in their lives where they physically can’t do all the things they once could.  If I’m really wanting to take a new path, now is the time.  I’m not sure I want to maintain this so-called Type A personality.  I would rather be the Type B and just love what I do, being in the flow of where I was meant to be.  Embracing that little voice in my life and with it, the unexpected.

 

 

Today was finally warm enough to get the kids outside for recess and most of the ice and snow had been removed from the playground.  Except for one fairly large patch of ice right on the corner of where the kids come down the sidewalk and round the corner to run their lap before they begin playing.  So, in order to keep them safe, I took turns with another teacher to make sure the kids didn’t go running and slipping across the patch of ice.  I uttered numerous vocalizations of “Watch the ice!” as each child or small group of children came around the corner and drifted straight for it as though the ice was a magnet.

Several children continued their path, despite the warning and sure enough they promptly fell on their behinds.  The caring teacher in me would always check on them  and then the mom would pop out and say, “well, that’s what happens when you don’t listen to me”.  Maybe not the kindest thing to say, but true.

After they all actually made it onto the playground, I left my post and walked around to keep an eye on everyone.  As I looked back, just as I imagined, the ice was calling again.  One of my colleagues, a much more caring colleague, asked if we should go over and say something, to which I replied, nope, they’ve been warned, whatever happens now is a natural consequence.  This is NOT a helicopter or lawn mower teacher here!

That’s the thing about kids playing – they are eventually going to get hurt.  It’s part of the activity.  I had one little guy aggressively going for a football when he landed on his hand and hip.  He immediately burst into tears.  When I asked him if he wanted to go in to see the nurse, he sniffed loudly and bravely said, “no, I think I can play” and he ran right back to his friends.  Play is important and they know they don’t have much time to do it.  He made it work.

Later, I had some 4th grade boys going for a football, and despite the fact that it’s supposed to be touch football, it looked more like tackling to me.  As I walked over to reprimand them, they stood up and told me they weren’t tackling, they were just trying to strip the ball away from one of the boys.  I told them it looked like a big dog pile and that it wasn’t safe.  And then a strange thing happened.  One of the boys came up and hugged me.  Then another.  And another.  Until they were all standing around and laughing.  Oh sure, I get it.  Try to disarm me.  And they did.  Just when they make you crazy, they make you love them.

That’s teaching though.  You come home exhausted because you’ve spent the entire day not only teaching, but looking out for them, trying to keep them safe, taking care of them when they do get hurt.  This isn’t just a job, it has to be a calling because they’re going to suck you into caring.  Especially when they need to watch out for the ice.

 

 

ELOs and PLCs, SATs and ACTs, IEPs, DD, ELL, and SPED.  We went from NCLB to ESSA, and even our organizations become acronyms; NAfME and ASCD for instance.  It’s like  texting – you have to speak another language to be an educator.  There are still times when some acronym is used during a conversation in a staff meeting and I have to ask what it is.

We’ve completely stopped speaking, reading and writing in complete sentences which is a bit ironic in a world where almost nothing else is taught.  What’s the point if these students are going to end up texting and writing nothing but consonants?  This is not something that has happened overnight, acronyms have been taking over our language for decades.

This afternoon I learned a new acronym, VDP which stands for Vulnerable Decision Point.  I know.  Anyway, it has to do with how teachers deal with students, especially those who are struggling with inappropriate or perhaps repetitive behaviors that may trigger a reaction that if we allow it, may cause us to react in a way that is harmful to students.  This assumes that that if we’re not careful,  there’s a point where we are no longer in control. I’ve always called this being a professional adult, who, despite the insanity that occurs in the classroom can continue to be the professional adult.  Have behaviors become so bad in the classroom that it’s necessary to make teachers aware of the VDP to keep them from harming children, verbally or otherwise?

I was watching a Gerry Brooks video where he was explaining how education is different today than it was when he was a kid and how much those on the outside assume nothing has changed.  One of the examples he used was that back in the old days, when a child become frustrated, he or she might become angry and or frown/pout. Now a student becomes frustrated and they might toss a table or chair, bang their head against a wall or floor, kick things or attack the teacher.  Perhaps that’s the reason we need to learn about our VDP?  Or perhaps we need to look for a better way to figure out why children are behaving this way and what to do about it.

I believe that some of this behavior is beyond our expertise, to the point that we just don’t know how to respond.  As a music educator, I never had a “class” in behavior management.  My examples were my cooperating teachers and teachers I observed in school, the rest has been on the job training.  Over the years, I have watched behavior deteriorate to the point where I find myself at that VDP more and more often and it becomes harder and harder to maintain that professionalism.  I just never thought it would be reduced to an acronym.  Like many other things in education, if we just create some new terminology and an acronym, it will look like we doing something terribly intellectual.  Maybe, maybe not.

So maybe we ditch the acronyms instead and have some serious discussions about why and how we’ve gotten to this point.    I truly believe that kids are still kids, but the system and adults running the systems have changed and not for the better.  More acronyms and programs are not the answer.  I believe love and honesty with parents and children IS the answer.  Maybe if I make an acronym, someone will take it seriously.  Love and Honesty – LAH!!

 

It’s after school – WAY after school and I’m still working.  The to-do list never seems to go away and then I’m stupid enough to look at my emails right before I get ready to go and my list suddenly becomes longer.  You would think that hanging out in my room after school would be quiet, conducive in terms of getting work done but all around my room, literally, ALL around my room are children.  Children who are yelling, running, banging into walls, bouncing balls, slamming bathroom doors.  This is not the way they’re instructed to behave during the day, however, when the final bell rings, even though they’re in the same building, a transformation takes place and the monkeys come out.

The teacher in me doesn’t leave just because the bell rings.  I have been known to step out and say a word to a child who is screaming down the hall or who is talking disrespectfully to an adult (college aged, but an adult nevertheless) or not listening/ following directions.  Other days, I do my best to take a deep breath and say to myself, not my circus, not my monkeys.

But they are.  Despite the fact that responsibility shifts from one group of adults to another and the purpose of the children gathering is completely different, they are still in the same building and the behavior should reflect that.  The expectations should be the same or the monkey behavior can seep into their school day.  And it does.  But again, not my circus.

I really try hard not to interrupt these college students, partly because they need to figure out how to deal with kids. On the other hand sometimes I step out and I see one of these students at their wits end or handling something really poorly, not because they’re bad teachers, they’re just inexperienced and I can’t help but step in. I have to admit it’s a kind of fun when I can fix something with a couple of words or a look.  There is something to be said for being old.

Things are especially crazy right now with the holidays coming up and the monkey behavior has ramped up quite a bit.  So much so that it inspired me to write a poem for day three of my creativity challenge.

Winter in Nebraska can be brutal at its worse and at other times,  just plain yucky.  Grey skies, bare trees, lots of brown and grey and wet, slushy dirty snow.  It’s easy to focus on the negative and completely miss the beauty and wonderland staring you in the face.  So many times I focus on the cold and lack of color, but today there was this strange stark beauty that struck me.  The wet snow had clung to one side of the trees and branches and the contrast between the white and the dark against the grey sky was beautiful.

The evergreens were covered in snow, creating this winter wonderland.  I could imagine walking through the rows of trees, my footsteps muffled and everything so hushed and still.  This time of mindfulness surprised me because I’m usually worrying about the roads and crazy drivers and today I was completely taken aback by the trees.

The thing is, the trees are always there.  Do I take them for granted?  Am I mindlessly drifting from one thought to another instead of really taking in what is happening right in front of me?  What else have I missed while fussing about the winter in Nebraska?

I count the days from Winter to Spring, hoping the time goes fast.  I’m not sure why – I don’t know how much time I have left in this world and here I am just wishing it away instead of embracing it.  Much like the trees.

What could I do to be more aware of the beauty and to find ways to enjoy this winter?  Perhaps this could be part of my creativity challenge to take a part of the year that I really don’t enjoy and turn it into joy I can’t wait to experience.

In the meantime, I’ll go jump into bed and dream of the snow day I hope we might have tomorrow.  I never said this would be easy….

 

I’ve always heard and subsequently assumed that having a child or children helped teachers in terms of classroom management.  In reality, however, many times it felt like I had a better handle on my classroom than I did my own kids at home.  Oh sure, they behaved pretty well when we were in public or when they were at school but at home things could be pretty scary.  Nobody gives you a parenting manual and somehow I thought that behavior management with kids at home should be different than behavior management at school.  Maybe I was wrong.

After ten years of empty nesting, I have become an instant grandparent to 7 and 10 year old brothers.  I saw two very different examples of grandparenting in my own parents and my in-laws and I wasn’t sure where I would be in terms of my relationship with my grandchildren.  My own kids turned out pretty well, despite me, but being a grandparent is a chance to love on children without all the responsibility, right?  If only it were that easy.  I’m finding out that once a teacher, always a teacher.

Today I took the boys out by myself, something I hadn’t done since my own were little.  Oh sure, I’ve taken groups of kids out on field trips but I wasn’t related to them and I had a responsibility to their parents.  Oh – that’s right.  I also have a responsibility to my grandsons’ parents, don’t I?  So I found myself speaking to my grandsons in the same way I do my kids at school.  When one of them started to complain that he didn’t want to do something, I very calmly explained to him that we had already paid for it and were going to see it through.  When I found one of the boys upset because he didn’t get something he wanted, I gave him two other things to choose from and that was it.  Either he chose or he didn’t.  Not emotional, not defensive, just clearly stating expectations and consequences.  Exactly the kind of thing I do with my kids at school.  But is this how a grandma is supposed to behave?

Well, I’ve seen children speak to adults, including grandparents, in a whiney, sometimes disrespectful way and it makes me crazy.  I love my grandsons with all my heart, but it’s important to fulfill the wishes of their parents and help them to grow up to be good, respectful, ethical, hardworking young men.  So no, I’m not going to just buy or do anything they ask for but will within reason.  I will hug them all they want and tell them how wonderful and unique and smart they are.  I will attend as many of their school and family events as I can and make them the center of attention for those events.  But I will not spoil them and encourage bad behavior and those techniques come from my teaching.

So today, as I was reviewing my day, my creativity came out in the form of behavior management for my grandsons.  Maybe not a huge thing, but it is setting the tone of how our relationship is going to be.  If I care this much about other people’s children, shouldn’t I care at least that much for my own grandchildren?  Grateful that I’ll always be a teacher.

 

 

One of the wonderful things that has happened with my opportunity at the Metropolitan Opera has been meeting some wonderful people.  One of my new friends is Susan Blackwell who has issued a 30 Day Creativity Challenge.  It’s actually longer than 30 days by a few days but that gives me those extra days to mess up if I need to  Anyway, despite the fact that my profession screams creativity, most days I don’t feel very creative  In fact, most days feel pretty routine.  Especially as I observe my much younger colleagues who seem to have so much energy and who just seem to ooze creativity. So when Susan announced this, I felt challenged to do something more than the usual.  The problem is, how exactly do I make life more creative?

How do I define creativity?  The definition being used for this challenge comes from Ken Robinson who says that creativity is the process of original ideas that have value.  Value to whom?  To me?  That could actually be pretty shallow.  Value to others?  That’s all in how others perceive my original ideas.  But perhaps I overanalyze a bit.

The obvious result of creativity could be some artistic creative endeavor, perhaps something way out of my comfort zone.  Like creating a piece of visual art.  As long as I allow others to assume it was done by a five year old, I think this could be okay.  As I find fear interfering with a possible physical product of creative thought, I think about my students and how I attempt to encourage them to just try something and that there is no right or wrong.  Whatever they create is theirs and it’s okay.  It’s difficult to apply to myself, but hypocritical to encourage them without having attempted it at least.

So perhaps I use this challenge to look at the everyday things of life in a different, more creative way.  Maybe it’s not some great grandiose idea but small details that bring joy, pleasure or satisfaction of some kind.  Maybe it’s a tiny addition to something I already do.  Maybe it’s a change in the why, when, where, or what I do and/or who I do it with.  I don’t have time to overthink this as life is packed out enough as it is.  For this to have value, I think it has to improve life somehow.

So, for the next 30 days, I’m going to use my blog space to chronicle this journey into creativity and see where it takes me. If you’re also looking to bring more creativity into your life, use #susanblackwellcreativitychallenge on Twitter to follow along and we’ll all try to bring more creativity into our lives together. Enjoy!

“Is Santa real?”  It’s a question I get asked a lot this time of year.  My usual answer is that Santa is real at my house.  Other kids can disagree with me if I just state that Santa is real, but to make it personal and say “at my house” is something they can’t dispute.  What I chose to believe in my house is part of my freedom as a human being.  Notice that I didn’t say that because he is real at my house that he has to be real at their house.  I leave it up to the child to decide what to believe.  There are too many variables for me to try to persuade them otherwise.  I don’t want to get in the way of what parents want for their child at this stage and I don’t know what this would do to the child to have the security of their perceived knowledge taken away.

That’s the thing about beliefs.  Anyone can believe anything they want and can behave or make lifestyle choices in a way that reflects those beliefs.  The problem begins when I try to make someone believe the way I believe.  I can perhaps persuade someone to believe as I do or share with them the reasons why I believe the way I do but that’s really as far as I can go.

The problem with beliefs is that we tend to be passionate about them.  Whether it’s because of something my parents taught me or a life experience that has occurred, it’s obviously something I have feelings about.  While beliefs can be formed intellectually, unfortunately as humans, feelings tend to get in the way and that’s where we get in trouble.  We get defensive if someone disagrees with our beliefs or accuse others of not thinking intelligently because it’s just too hard to deal with the fact that some people may not share the same beliefs.  Surely if we feel so strongly about something, it has to be right and true, correct?  I’m thinking this could be the problem with the media these days.  But I digress.

I’ve always heard that as people grow older they become more set in their ways but what I’m finding out personally is that things are becoming grey-er, and I don’t mean my hair!  As I step out of my usual environment, out of comfort zone sometimes, I find myself meeting more diverse people who share their stories with me, who challenge what I thought I knew and and what I’ve been taught in the past.  Things are not as black and white as they used to be.  Some issues conflict greatly with my beliefs as a Christian but that’s something that has to be between me and God.  And that’s the way I see it for others.  It’s not my job to force my beliefs down anyone’s throat, but to live my beliefs the best I can and to trust that God is big enough to take care of the rest.

Beliefs don’t have to be the problem here, it’s the idea that I’m RIGHT because of my beliefs and if you don’t agree then you’re wrong.  Is it easy to decide what is right and what is wrong?  Not so much.  Just look at how we voted in the last presidential election, both sides believing with all of their hearts that the way they voted was the RIGHT way, based on their belief systems, anchored in their past experiences.  And what do we do?  We continue to use our beliefs to argue with each other, call each other inappropriate names, make everything political, label and stereotype everyone.

I there a way to fix this?  After all, every individual has specific beliefs about every aspect of their life, creating countless combinations for millions of people.  Just like I handle my Kinder’s tough question about Santa (tough for a 5 year old at least!), I believe simple kindness is the key.  Thinking of someone else before ourself.  Sure, I could tell the poor kid that his parents have been lying to him all along, that there has never been a Santa and he’s stupid to have ever believed that.  I could label his parents as enablers who are afraid to tell their kid the truth.  Chances are they are some tree hugging, snowflake Democrats or traditionalist non-progressive Republicans.  I can make it work either way. However you look at it, they’re wrong, right?  Is it beginning to look ridiculous to you too?

Look, I get that life is complicated and a lot of things influence our beliefs.  However, there’s nothing can get in the way of just getting to know someone better and being kind.  It’s not that hard.  And tomorrow when another Kinder asks me about Santa, I’ll give them a hug and put it back in their ball court because it’s important that it’s THEIR belief, not mine.

 

Tomorrow is the first day after Thanksgiving break and the beginning of the madness that is the holiday season.  The Christmas trees have been put up in the majority of their homes, the stores are decorated and playing holiday songs and the kids are dreaming of the latest and greatest video games, devices and toys.

Their evenings after school will be spent going to holiday events, participating in holiday concerts and performances, visiting family and shopping, all in the name of holiday fun.  There will be a lack of sleep, an increase in poor eating habits and as a result, their performance at school will suffer.  Despite this, teachers will attempt to keep business as usual, with the added pressure of required assessments before the end of the quarter.

The biggest challenge will be their behavior, the excitement, lack of sleep, and stress over school contributing to their impulsivity and higher emotional states.  What this usually means for teachers is survival mode, pushing procedures as much as they can without pushing themselves or their students over the edge.  These same teachers are also trying to have a life of their own, attending the same events and having family time like everyone else, if they have any energy left after teaching.

In my class, where I will see my students a total of four times between now and break, I need to prepare all of them to participate in our all-school sing,  prepare 5th grade to attend an opera, prepare 4th grade to go to Heritage School and finish quarterly assessments, not to mention two choir performances.  The stress to get everything done in such a short amount of time while trying to maintain some semblance of order can be overwhelming.  Oh, and did I mention an observation next week?

Now, before you think everything is doom and gloom for the next three and a half weeks, sometimes the madness can be a lot of fun.  The Kindergartners will be excited about the most simple things.  We’ll play music games and sing songs like Jingle Bells (which I’ve been told is their FAVORITE song) and there will be much laughter and fun.  Those 4th and 5th graders will have fun acting out the opera and singing their Heritage School songs.  We’ll have fun playing boomwhackers and instruments to learn new concepts and add some movement and dances to get their wiggly bodies moving.  The key to all of this is for me to let loose a little bit and embrace the madness, using it as a time to enjoy my students and maybe become a little bit of a kid myself. I’ll still leave school exhausted but maybe not as frustrated.

So maybe a few things to consider during this crazy season.   Remember those teachers who are giving their all out of their love for teaching children.  While the media tends to focus on any negativity attached to the profession, the truth is, the profession is full of loving, caring people who believe in the power of a great education.  And make time to slow down and enjoy each other and your family. Childhood is fleeting.  Embrace the madness and have a wonderful holiday season.

 

 

Competition can be a wonderful thing.  I happen to be a competitive person when it counts and I blame my high school band director.  Good healthy competition can motivate us to excel in ways we never thought we could.  Competing with yourself can bring about great change for the good and self satisfaction as I imagine it does for my friends who run marathons.  I say imagine, because this girl isn’t planning to run anytime soon.

There’s a fine line in competition when losing is a cause for motivation to try harder and when it leads to anger and defensiveness.  It’s very difficult to work with students these days when I use games to teach concepts.  I have to spend time explaining that what we’re doing is a game and that it’s for fun and learning.  Even then I have students who become upset just because they don’t “win”, or because the other team celebrates their victory (that’s rude/they’re making me feel bad/tell them to stop!), or the kids who nitpick every move the other team makes (they cheated, he didn’t follow directions, she gave him the answer).

“What do we get if we win?” is the other question I get, assuming everyone gets a “thing” every time they do something well.  I usually tell them it’s the satisfaction of winning or knowing they’ve learned something.  But these kids are used to getting things or money anytime they achieve those things that should just be expected; good grades, good behavior, doing their chores, doing their homework.  Sure I get that kids need to learn sometimes by using extrinsic motivation as they’re learning to develop intrinsic motivation but at some point they need to be weaned off of the rewards.  It only leads to adults who expect rewards for every little thing they do and we know how well that goes.

Then there is the reward of recognition.  You want someone to notice those things you are accomplishing, the things you’ve worked hard for or have achieved.  Social media is the Mecca of bragging rights, especially about our kids.  My little Johnny is on the honor roll or my child got accepted to ABC University, my child is playing these instruments or playing these sports.  We brag about their first words, their first steps, their first real food as though it’s the first time any of that has happened.  I do it too – I think it’s natural to be proud of your spouse or kids or grandkids, shoot, I brag about me too on occasion, but when it turns into a competition, this is a problem and it’s teaching our kids that bragging to outdo someone is ok.

The latest inappropriate bragging I’ve heard about has to do with a football fanbase who have taken pride in waving to children in the children’s hospital next to the stadium.  This is a wonderful thing, the kind of thing everyone should do and to take pride in the kindness a group of people do together is not a bad thing.  However, when it leads to expectations for other people’s behaviors, then this can be a problem.  So apparently this has happened with the kind people of fanbase #1 calling out the fanbase of team #2 because apparently they didn’t love sick children enough to wave to them like they did.

So what does fanbase #2 do?  They start making comparisons.  Well, we don’t just wave to sick children, we monetarily support children with cancer.  You see where this is going, right?  It’s like being on an elementary school playground.  Anything you can do I can do better.  Look at me, I can climb the monkey bars faster.  Well, look at me, I can do it upside down.  I held the door open for my friend.  Well, I held the door open for my entire class.  How are children expected to learn to do the right thing because it’s the right thing and not because they can get recognition for it?

Now this may sound like a contradiction.  Getting a special recognition is a true honor, but only if you’re not getting recognized for every little thing along the way.   I mean, how is a high school or college graduation supposed to mean anything when they’ve graduated from preschool, kindergarten, and grade school before that?  So many times I see people who truly deserve an honor who are genuinely surprised when they receive it.  These are people who just do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing and who don’t compare themselves to others.

I think teachers are the ones who understand this the best.  Great teachers are a treasure who change the lives of kids and who may never see the fruits of their labor.  Can you imaging that same playground argument among teachers?  Well, I stayed after school to work with one of my students who was struggling.  Oh yeah?  I spent the weekend taking kids to the opera in my free time.  You never hear teachers do this kind of thing, at least not on social media.  I’m sorry, but teachers do this kind of thing all the time. This is not to say that teachers don’t get frustrated about not being recognized for their efforts, but most of them realize the goal isn’t about them, it’s about the students.  Who better to teach children that while competition can be fun and motivating, we should save it for those things that are important and not try to build up ourselves.   Is an act of kindness better or a personal accomplishment sweeter just because someone notices or makes a big deal about it?