After eating my breakfast of champions this morning, consisting of donuts, bacon and Diet Coke, I found myself having a little anxiety attack.  I know to work on my breathing and I begin talking to myself to calm things down a bit.  I had some Diet Coke left and as I looked at the straw, without thinking, I blew into the straw.  Little bubbles at first, then bigger bubbles that shot Diet Coke towards my face.  And I laughed, so I did it again.  Several times blowing bubbles until I felt better.  I can’t remember the last time I blew bubbles and I remembered I used to tell my boys not to blow bubbles when they were little.  Why the hell not?  Blowing bubbles is fun and if they’re not out at some fancy restaurant, home should be a safe place for blowing bubbles.  When did I decide that it wasn’t ok to blow bubbles?

Have you ever watched kids having fun?  I don’t see it as much anymore, but it usually consists of the loud ones yelling and running around, leaping on and off of things, and the quiet ones sitting with friends or reading a book.  They create story lines of heroes and villains chasing each other around the playground. They laugh at the goofiest things and want to repeat things over and over again to recreate that first hysterical laughter.  I can remember laughing with my brother once at the dinner table and all he was saying was strawberry or something silly like that and we laughed until we couldn’t breathe.  He just kept repeating it over and over.  We would do MadLibs and say the silliest things and laugh like crazy.  That happens so little anymore, that out of control laughter that sends tears down your face, where you can’t talk without going into spasms of laughter.

I miss laughing like that.  There are certain expectations to being a grown-up and the more “grown-up” I get, the less I like it.  I like sharing stories and laughing with a small group of friends or playing games with my family.  I like watching animated movies with creative dialogue meant for adults but with action appealing to kids.  I love going out for milkshakes at 9:00 p.m.  I like buying pretty school supplies for myself with flowers and bright colors and drinking out of a wine glass with multi-colored flip flops painted on it.

In a beige and black grown-up world, I’m learning to throw in some boho and flowers.  I’ve decided to let the hair go white but it’s got to have a purple tint to it.  The toenail colors change every month to go with the seasons or holidays or football with hand painted flowers.  It’s all a bit childish I suppose but I kind of lost out on some of my childhood, most of which I have great difficulty remembering, so I’m taking advantage of the fact that I can create whatever childhood I want now.  And in this childhood, I’m blowing bubbles.

How does this reconcile with classroom management when I’m teaching?  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Organized chaos is what I would like to have but kids can be somewhat different today.  Instead of just enjoying themselves and their time to create, they like to be mean, out of control and destructive.  The ones who don’t tend to be intimidated or annoyed with the ones who do, so I have to keep a tight lid on things, which goes completely against the grain of letting kids be kids.  I want my students to remember school as a place where they had fun learning not a place where they had to learn.  I’m still working on this.

So maybe I need to keep trying to do things like a child would do, feeling the feelings, laughing at the silliness, experiencing the wonderment of it all and then help kids learn how to do that again.  Although I think my principal would frown upon me teaching them to blow bubbles in their milk.

 

 

The sun is going down and none of the inside lights are on.  The air-conditioning has stopped running, there are no appliances running and there is only the sound of my fingers on the computer keyboard.  The only lights I can see are from the peephole in my front door, the computer screen and three digital clocks on the cable box, stove and microwave, all showing different times for whatever reason.  Sitting in the dark can be  a good thing or a bad thing depending on where my head is.  It allows me to ignore all of the “things” around me and focus only on my thoughts.

Some of my thoughts are focused on making an error in judgement today as a new grandma.  There’s a part of me that thinks, hey, I raised three kids, I’m a pro and then  there is the other part telling me, “you’re not the parent, don’t overstep your bounds”.  It’s a hard thing to learn especially when you haven’t been a grandparent for very long.

Some of my thoughts are on the fact that I went to school for several hours today and I don’t feel like I really got anything accomplished.  I hate that.  My goal is to have my room completely finished before Monday so I can just do paperwork/planning things next week.  Feeling a little bit of pressure, even though I’ve done this forever now.  School will begin whether I feel like I’m ready or not I suppose.

Other thoughts are about how yesterday was so much fun just hanging out with my husband for our anniversary just doing everyday things like going out for meals and a movie.  He has spent a great deal of his summer sitting the office writing marching band drill for other schools.  I mean like 15-16 hour days at the computer.  It’s not like I don’t have things to do, but I’m thinking I wish every day could be like yesterday.

My oldest turned 35 years old today.  Seriously, 35?  While I don’t feel older, the facts tell me differently.  Where did the time go?  It occurred to me yesterday that at this age, he is who he is.  While he may mellow out some as he ages, his philosophies of life and lifestyle are his, whether they would be my choices or not.  As I look at baby pictures of him, there’s no way I could have imagined him as a 35 year old married man, and those baby pictures don’t seem that long ago.

I’m thinking about the fact that I said no to a big project today and I feel good about that. I could feel my blood pressure rising as I was being told what that big project would entail and I dealt with that inner struggle of “sure, I could make this happen” and “OMG, I don’t have time to do this!”.  But for once, common sense won out.  Good for me for a change.

I’m thinking about a woman I admire who has risen from grief to write a book and do presentations to help those who may be going through something similar.  She has looked closely at the results of that book and has found that not only is it helping others to deal with hardship, but it has allowed others to look at their lives and families with more gratitude, learning how not to take things for granted, and celebrating life.  It is a reminder of the scripture that says – “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good.”  Even when it seems like nothing good will ever come out of it.

Sitting in the dark is a good thing, allowing me to recap the day in a thoughtful way, the good, the bad and the ugly.  It allows me to put things in perspective, not being distracted by things around me, but allowing me to think and have conversations with God, leaving me with the thought that I tried my best today, God is in control and tomorrow is another day.

 

It’s all a crapshoot you know.  You find someone with whom you have things in common, go on some dates, make some plans and get married.  You promise each other in front of God and witnesses that you will love and honor each other til death do you part and off you go.  They don’t call it a honeymoon period for nothing.  It’s all about playing house and living in your own place being grown-ups.  And then life happens.

I have friends and family who did the same thing as my husband and I and for various reasons, theirs didn’t work.  It’s not that they didn’t take it seriously, but at some point they stopped being friends, stopped caring for each other, stopped liking the same things.        Sometimes it was something devastating in their lives where nothing was ever the same and there was not enough left to hold it all together.  But there are others who share similar stories and yet their marriage survives.  It all seems such a mystery.

Oftentimes people will ask couples who have been married for a long period of time what their secret is.  So after 38 years today, I can tell you it shouldn’t be a secret and here it is; sweat, tears, prayers and hard work.  This doesn’t mean that our lives have been miserable, but life is life.  I think we do young couples a disservice when we wish them a lifetime of happiness.  It’s a great sentiment, but that’s not real life.  There are going to be arguments.  At the very least, you’ll get snippy with each other because quite frankly, when you spend a lot of time with one person, you can get irritated from time to time.

Arguments for us weren’t really arguments.  I would get really angry, cry, and try to get him to argue back – and he wouldn’t.  It frustrated me no end because it always looked like I was the irrational one – and maybe I was.  After years of this, I learned not to hold things in for a long period of time until I exploded and he learned to pay attention to when I got really quiet.  We don’t argue very much at all any more, in fact, I can’t remember the last argument we had.  Life is too short and I think we’ve just known each other long enough now that we can be more proactive about things or we’ve figured out that some things are just not that important to argue about.

There have been deaths in the family, premature children, many moves, financial issues, and times when our jobs got in the way of each other.  We have sweat together on asphalt fields at band camp, disagreeing about how to teach something, cried together out of happiness and sadness, prayed when we just couldn’t handle things anymore and times when we just knew we had to buckle down together to make it work.  When you take two imperfect people in an imperfect world, things aren’t necessarily going to just click.  But just like anything else that takes hard work, marriage can be so worth it.

We’ve seen each other at our best and worst, in sickness and in health, to celebrate with and to console.  When you share those kinds of life experiences, it builds a bond that becomes difficult to break.  And as you grow older and if each person has encouraged and allowed the other to grow, you end up with two human beings who have become the one talked about in those early wedding vows.  He’s the one I wake up with and go to sleep with, the first one I want to tell a funny story to or share something that’s bothering me.  As cliche as it sounds, he is truly my best friend.

As we celebrate 38 years today, it is truly a celebration.  We are going to spend the day together, just doing fun, everyday things because that’s who we are.  Brunch, a movie, maybe something else fun and dinner together, finishing with drinks on the balcony.  Nothing fancy, but it doesn’t get any better than that.  All of the hard work has paid off and through it all we’ve learned so much and become so grateful.  While I doubt we’ll celebrate 38 more, (although we would only be 96 : ), I know that however long we’re together it will only get better.  Happy Anniversary Doug!

It’s all a crapshoot you know.  You find someone with whom you have things in common, go on some dates, make some plans and get married.  You promise each other in front of God and witnesses that you will love and honor each other til death do you part and off you go.  They don’t call it a honeymoon period for nothing.  It’s all about playing house and living in your own place being grown-ups.  And then life happens.

I have friends and family who did the same thing as my husband and I and for various reasons, theirs didn’t work.  It’s not that they didn’t take it seriously, but at some point they stopped being friends, stopped caring for each other, stopped liking the same things.        Sometimes it was something devastating in their lives where nothing was ever the same and there was not enough left to hold it all together.  But there are others who share similar stories and yet their marriage survives.  It all seems such a mystery.

Oftentimes people will ask couples who have been married for a long period of time what their secret is.  So after 38 years today, I can tell you it shouldn’t be a secret and here it is; sweat, tears, prayers and hard work.  This doesn’t mean that our lives have been miserable, but life is life.  I think we do young couples a disservice when we wish them a lifetime of happiness.  It’s a great sentiment, but that’s not real life.  There are going to be arguments.  At the very least, you’ll get snippy with each other because quite frankly, when you spend a lot of time with one person, you can get irritated from time to time.

Arguments for us weren’t really arguments.  I would get really angry, cry, and try to get him to argue back – and he wouldn’t.  It frustrated me no end because it always looked like I was the irrational one – and maybe I was.  After years of this, I learned not to hold things in for a long period of time until I exploded and he learned to pay attention to when I got really quiet.  We don’t argue very much at all any more, in fact, I can’t remember the last argument we had.  Life is too short and I think we’ve just known each other long enough now that we can be more proactive about things or we’ve figured out that some things are just not that important to argue about.

There have been deaths in the family, premature children, many moves, financial issues, and times when our jobs got in the way of each other.  We have sweat together on asphalt fields at band camp, disagreeing about how to teach something, cried together out of happiness and sadness, prayed when we just couldn’t handle things anymore and times when we just knew we had to buckle down together to make it work.  When you take two imperfect people in an imperfect world, things aren’t necessarily going to just click.  But just like anything else that takes hard work, marriage can be so worth it.

We’ve seen each other at our best and worst, in sickness and in health, to celebrate with and to console.  When you share those kinds of life experiences, it builds a bond that becomes difficult to break.  And as you grow older and if each person has encouraged and allowed the other to grow, you end up with two human beings who have become the one talked about in those early wedding vows.  He’s the one I wake up with and go to sleep with, the first one I want to tell a funny story to or share something that’s bothering me.  As cliche as it sounds, he is truly my best friend.

As we celebrate 38 years today, it is truly a celebration.  We are going to spend the day together, just doing fun, everyday things because that’s who we are.  Brunch, a movie, maybe something else fun and dinner together, finishing with drinks on the balcony.  Nothing fancy, but it doesn’t get any better than that.  All of the hard work has paid off and through it all we’ve learned so much and become so grateful.  While I doubt we’ll celebrate 38 more, (although we would only be 96 : ), I know that however long we’re together it will only get better.  Happy Anniversary Doug!

It’s all a crapshoot you know.  You find someone with whom you have things in common, go on some dates, make some plans and get married.  You promise each other in front of God and witnesses that you will love and honor each other til death do you part and off you go.  They don’t call it a honeymoon period for nothing.  It’s all about playing house and living in your own place being grown-ups.  And then life happens.

I have friends and family who did the same thing as my husband and I and for various reasons, theirs didn’t work.  It’s not that they didn’t take it seriously, but at some point they stopped being friends, stopped caring for each other, stopped liking the same things.        Sometimes it was something devastating in their lives where nothing was ever the same and there was not enough left to hold it all together.  But there are others who share similar stories and yet their marriage survives.  It all seems such a mystery.

Oftentimes people will ask couples who have been married for a long period of time what their secret is.  So after 38 years today, I can tell you it shouldn’t be a secret and here it is; sweat, tears, prayers and hard work.  This doesn’t mean that our lives have been miserable, but life is life.  I think we do young couples a disservice when we wish them a lifetime of happiness.  It’s a great sentiment, but that’s not real life.  There are going to be arguments.  At the very least, you’ll get snippy with each other because quite frankly, when you spend a lot of time with one person, you can get irritated from time to time.

Arguments for us weren’t really arguments.  I would get really angry, cry, and try to get him to argue back – and he wouldn’t.  It frustrated me no end because it always looked like I was the irrational one – and maybe I was.  After years of this, I learned not to hold things in for a long period of time until I exploded and he learned to pay attention to when I got really quiet.  We don’t argue very much at all any more, in fact, I can’t remember the last argument we had.  Life is too short and I think we’ve just known each other long enough now that we can be more proactive about things or we’ve figured out that some things are just not that important to argue about.

There have been deaths in the family, premature children, many moves, financial issues, and times when our jobs got in the way of each other.  We have sweat together on asphalt fields at band camp, disagreeing about how to teach something, cried together out of happiness and sadness, prayed when we just couldn’t handle things anymore and times when we just knew we had to buckle down together to make it work.  When you take two imperfect people in an imperfect world, things aren’t necessarily going to just click.  But just like anything else that takes hard work, marriage can be so worth it.

We’ve seen each other at our best and worst, in sickness and in health, to celebrate with and to console.  When you share those kinds of life experiences, it builds a bond that becomes difficult to break.  And as you grow older and if each person has encouraged and allowed the other to grow, you end up with two human beings who have become the one talked about in those early wedding vows.  He’s the one I wake up with and go to sleep with, the first one I want to tell a funny story to or share something that’s bothering me.  As cliche as it sounds, he is truly my best friend.

As we celebrate 38 years today, it is truly a celebration.  We are going to spend the day together, just doing fun, everyday things because that’s who we are.  Brunch, a movie, maybe something else fun and dinner together, finishing with drinks on the balcony.  Nothing fancy, but it doesn’t get any better than that.  All of the hard work has paid off and through it all we’ve learned so much and become so grateful.  While I doubt we’ll celebrate 38 more, (although we would only be 96 : ), I know that however long we’re together it will only get better.  Happy Anniversary Doug!

It’s all a crapshoot you know.  You find someone with whom you have things in common, go on some dates, make some plans and get married.  You promise each other in front of God and witnesses that you will love and honor each other til death do you part and off you go.  They don’t call it a honeymoon period for nothing.  It’s all about playing house and living in your own place being grown-ups.  And then life happens.

I have friends and family who did the same thing as my husband and I and for various reasons, theirs didn’t work.  It’s not that they didn’t take it seriously, but at some point they stopped being friends, stopped caring for each other, stopped liking the same things.        Sometimes it was something devastating in their lives where nothing was ever the same and there was not enough left to hold it all together.  But there are others who share similar stories and yet their marriage survives.  It all seems such a mystery.

Oftentimes people will ask couples who have been married for a long period of time what their secret is.  So after 38 years today, I can tell you it shouldn’t be a secret and here it is; sweat, tears, prayers and hard work.  This doesn’t mean that our lives have been miserable, but life is life.  I think we do young couples a disservice when we wish them a lifetime of happiness.  It’s a great sentiment, but that’s not real life.  There are going to be arguments.  At the very least, you’ll get snippy with each other because quite frankly, when you spend a lot of time with one person, you can get irritated from time to time.

Arguments for us weren’t really arguments.  I would get really angry, cry, and try to get him to argue back – and he wouldn’t.  It frustrated me no end because it always looked like I was the irrational one – and maybe I was.  After years of this, I learned not to hold things in for a long period of time until I exploded and he learned to pay attention to when I got really quiet.  We don’t argue very much at all any more, in fact, I can’t remember the last argument we had.  Life is too short and I think we’ve just known each other long enough now that we can be more proactive about things or we’ve figured out that some things are just not that important to argue about.

There have been deaths in the family, premature children, many moves, financial issues, and times when our jobs got in the way of each other.  We have sweat together on asphalt fields at band camp, disagreeing about how to teach something, cried together out of happiness and sadness, prayed when we just couldn’t handle things anymore and times when we just knew we had to buckle down together to make it work.  When you take two imperfect people in an imperfect world, things aren’t necessarily going to just click.  But just like anything else that takes hard work, marriage can be so worth it.

We’ve seen each other at our best and worst, in sickness and in health, to celebrate with and to console.  When you share those kinds of life experiences, it builds a bond that becomes difficult to break.  And as you grow older and if each person has encouraged and allowed the other to grow, you end up with two human beings who have become the one talked about in those early wedding vows.  He’s the one I wake up with and go to sleep with, the first one I want to tell a funny story to or share something that’s bothering me.  As cliche as it sounds, he is truly my best friend.

As we celebrate 38 years today, it is truly a celebration.  We are going to spend the day together, just doing fun, everyday things because that’s who we are.  Brunch, a movie, maybe something else fun and dinner together, finishing with drinks on the balcony.  Nothing fancy, but it doesn’t get any better than that.  All of the hard work has paid off and through it all we’ve learned so much and become so grateful.  While I doubt we’ll celebrate 38 more, (although we would only be 96 : ), I know that however long we’re together it will only get better.  Happy Anniversary Doug!

It’s all a crapshoot you know.  You find someone with whom you have things in common, go on some dates, make some plans and get married.  You promise each other in front of God and witnesses that you will love and honor each other til death do you part and off you go.  They don’t call it a honeymoon period for nothing.  It’s all about playing house and living in your own place being grown-ups.  And then life happens.

I have friends and family who did the same thing as my husband and I and for various reasons, theirs didn’t work.  It’s not that they didn’t take it seriously, but at some point they stopped being friends, stopped caring for each other, stopped liking the same things.        Sometimes it was something devastating in their lives where nothing was ever the same and there was not enough left to hold it all together.  But there are others who share similar stories and yet their marriage survives.  It all seems such a mystery.

Oftentimes people will ask couples who have been married for a long period of time what their secret is.  So after 38 years today, I can tell you it shouldn’t be a secret and here it is; sweat, tears, prayers and hard work.  This doesn’t mean that our lives have been miserable, but life is life.  I think we do young couples a disservice when we wish them a lifetime of happiness.  It’s a great sentiment, but that’s not real life.  There are going to be arguments.  At the very least, you’ll get snippy with each other because quite frankly, when you spend a lot of time with one person, you can get irritated from time to time.

Arguments for us weren’t really arguments.  I would get really angry, cry, and try to get him to argue back – and he wouldn’t.  It frustrated me no end because it always looked like I was the irrational one – and maybe I was.  After years of this, I learned not to hold things in for a long period of time until I exploded and he learned to pay attention to when I got really quiet.  We don’t argue very much at all any more, in fact, I can’t remember the last argument we had.  Life is too short and I think we’ve just known each other long enough now that we can be more proactive about things or we’ve figured out that some things are just not that important to argue about.

There have been deaths in the family, premature children, many moves, financial issues, and times when our jobs got in the way of each other.  We have sweat together on asphalt fields at band camp, disagreeing about how to teach something, cried together out of happiness and sadness, prayed when we just couldn’t handle things anymore and times when we just knew we had to buckle down together to make it work.  When you take two imperfect people in an imperfect world, things aren’t necessarily going to just click.  But just like anything else that takes hard work, marriage can be so worth it.

We’ve seen each other at our best and worst, in sickness and in health, to celebrate with and to console.  When you share those kinds of life experiences, it builds a bond that becomes difficult to break.  And as you grow older and if each person has encouraged and allowed the other to grow, you end up with two human beings who have become the one talked about in those early wedding vows.  He’s the one I wake up with and go to sleep with, the first one I want to tell a funny story to or share something that’s bothering me.  As cliche as it sounds, he is truly my best friend.

As we celebrate 38 years today, it is truly a celebration.  We are going to spend the day together, just doing fun, everyday things because that’s who we are.  Brunch, a movie, maybe something else fun and dinner together, finishing with drinks on the balcony.  Nothing fancy, but it doesn’t get any better than that.  All of the hard work has paid off and through it all we’ve learned so much and become so grateful.  While I doubt we’ll celebrate 38 more, (although we would only be 96 : ), I know that however long we’re together it will only get better.  Happy Anniversary Doug!

Please don’t judge me for what I’m about to tell you, but this actually happened.  I was pouring a can of my beloved Diet Coke into a glass of ice and the light from the window behind it really highlighted the fizz dancing into the air from the top of the glass.  I let the fizz die down some and then poured the rest of the can in quickly which of course made the fizz dance even higher.  Something about the dancing fizz was whimsical and ever so slightly magical and I laughed out loud.  For those of you who might care about me, no, I’m not going over the deep end, I’m merely becoming more mindful.

I started reading the book on Mindfulness and it has made me much more aware of how many times I just go on automatic.  You know, when you just get in the car to go to work the same way you always do and you can’t remember how you actually got there?  There are some mornings when I think, did I even look to see if that light was red?  Scary, right?  But it’s so easy for us to do this and daydream our way through life.  Being purposeful and being aware of those little things around you make life more meaningful, make our spirits come alive.  Even silly things like paying attention to the fizz from my drink brings a tiny light of joy into my day.

My days can be ridiculously busy and it’s very easy for me to fall into a routine and just teach at my kids rather than engage with my kids, just out of habit, routine and mindlessness.  It’s those days however, when I am fully focused, paying attention to the little things the kids say and do where magic happens.  I catch a quiet student smiling during a particular activity or someone who struggles begin to show some confidence.  I catch those students who like to mess around looking to me for affirmation when they’re trying harder to do the right things.  It makes a huge difference for everyone involved when I can be more mindful.

On vacation this summer, sitting on the beach, I tried to sit and just experience all that my senses could perceive.  How did the air smell, how did the waves sound, what did the sun look like as it was setting and how did it effect the colors in the sky?  Watching a dog react to the incoming waves and it trying to figure out what was going on, hiding behind its owner.  Slowing down and tasting my food, with all of the taste buds picking up the subtleties of the herbs and spices, smelling the wine and anticipating the richness of its flavor.  Not focused on my phone, not staring out of a window while I ate, but mindfully experiencing my food.

I’m working hard not to concentrate so much on myself as I am others, for instance, spending time with a couple of good friends yesterday and paying more attention to them.  Not just listening to their conversations, but trying to discern their likes and dislikes, the differences in their personalities, and those things they have in common.  They have developed quite a bond, having traveled to several conferences together over the years.  Their friendship is easy and they enjoy doing things together and stretching each other.  It was fun hearing the stories of their adventures and listening to them laugh.  I really enjoyed myself more being in the moment and thinking less about myself.  And we created some memories.  Memories of that poor woman at the first winery who was definitely having a “Monday” to the last woman who helped us who was a little rough around the edges but soon began to warm up to us as we were laughing about the names of the wines.  Names like “Afternoon Delight” and “Red Stiletto”.  Especially when I was asked how I liked my Afternoon Delight.  I’ll leave it there for now.

I’m trying to look at my family in a more mindful way as well, noticing how the sun bounces off of the bright red hair of my new grandson in the pool or how my daughter-in-law’s face shines with pride watching him.  I watched my husband’s eyes sparkle with just a hint of tears as our grandson was adopted.  I see how hard my kids work, how it shows on their faces, taking on adult roles and dealing with life.  I look at myself with my husband, watching us grow older together but still feeling like kids ourselves.  The familiar face I’ve known now for 40 years, now highlighted by gray at the temples and wrinkles around the eyes.  The details that could mindlessly go unnoticed if I wasn’t trying to be more purposeful.

I sign off here tonight, mindful of my breathing and how I am surrounded by quiet. It just takes a minute to stop and really use your senses to experience life more fully.  And in the moment, you can feel grateful for so many of the little things in life that you might otherwise ignore mindlessly.  Even something as small as the dancing fizz from your Diet Coke.

Lisa Nichols is an author and public speaker whose video popped up on my Facebook feed today.  As a student, she was told she was the worst writer in her class and another teacher told her she should never do anything where she would have to speak publicly.  Interesting considering what she ended up doing for a living.  Why would any teacher ever try to discourage a student like that?

How hard is it to encourage someone?  How hard is it to find something that someone does well or recognize a wonderful character trait?  So many times people who discourage or criticize do it out of a misguided desire to be honest with someone, but depending on the person, the wrong words can set him/her up to not believe in themselves for the rest of their lives.  The more negativity they hear about themselves, the more they will believe it.  How hard is it to be just be honest in a positive way?

I’m not saying that we have to be dishonest with someone or build up a false sense of self esteem, but the old adage, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything would work really well here.  In fact, I would take it a step further and say just say something nice – period.  There are always students in our classes who struggle academically, but everyone has something about them that is unique and special –  it’s how we were created. It’s our job to find that something special and bring it to that person’s attention, to encourage them to be the best they can be in whatever they choose to do.  To encourage them to shine their light.

As a child, I was told many times by someone that I was a failure, that I was clumsy, awkward and slow.  I took that into the classroom with me, wanting so badly to please to get some kind of recognition for anything I was trying to do.  Even as an adult, I still hear that voice in my head and it taints every decision I make.  Even though my head knows I’m doing pretty well now, the wrong words will take me right back to feeling like that child again.

As teachers, we have such a difficult job.  We need to be honest with students in order to help them learn, but we have to do it in such a way that it doesn’t discourage them from trying.  Kids know all too well what they struggle with and all it takes is for us to say the wrong thing for them to give up.  It’s already bad enough that we need to assign letters and numbers to their work for them to compare themselves to others.  And if they don’t do the comparison, their parents will.  A child is more than their grades on a report card.

So today, I listened to this incredible speaker on the video, the one who had the audience in the palm of her hand with her encouraging, empowering speech and I thought, what if she had believed what these teachers told her?  What if she had just found a job sitting at a desk by herself like she was told she should?  Imagine the lives that wouldn’t have been touched in a positive way because of her words.  Her story has a happy ending in that her faith helped her fight against what people said or thought about her.  Was she just lucky or was she meant to have this particular journey?

Would her message have been as powerful if she hadn’t been discouraged by her teachers?  I don’t know.  We like to hear about people who seemingly defy the odds.  We hear about those who are able to take negative words and turn them into a challenge and we look to them as an example of grit and perseverance.  And maybe some personalities need that kind of thing.  I would think you would have to know a person REALLY well to know that that particular strategy would work.  But why take the chance?

As I begin another school year, I need to remember this when my students do some crazy frustrating things, usually in the 3rd quarter.  You know what I’m saying, teacher friends. I need to remember to stay positive, to be honest but encouraging at the same time because I don’t want to be the reason a kid decides not to finish school or go to college or take that job.  I need to think first – why would I say that?

Bacon.  I admit it – I’m in love with the stuff.  That perfect combination of salty, smoky, and slightly fatty at just the right thickness is something I can’t get enough of.  For breakfast, lunch and/or dinner, there’s always a place for bacon.

When I was younger, and even more spoiled than I am now, my grandmother would fry bacon until I stopped eating it.  I’m not sure she understood just how much of it I could eat at one sitting.  As I got older I liked frying it myself because my mother always fried it “crisp”.  That completely leaves out the wonderful greasy fatty flavor.  It’s like ordering a great steak well done.  And I should know because she always cooked steaks well done.  But that’s another story for another time.  Back to the bacon.

What is it about bacon that we all love?  It touches three of the elements of taste perception, and any food that hits multiple elements is more satisfying.  It has different textures, crunchy and chewy, making it more interesting.  It literally makes anything taste better.  Brussel sprouts for instance.  Who in their right mind would eat those without bacon?  Things that are good for you become much more appetizing when it’s cooked in bacon grease or sprinkled with bacon.  Salad for instance. My mother-in-law keeps her bacon grease in a plastic tub to use when she fries eggs.  How can that be wrong?

The fact that bacon comes from such a funky looking animal is the ultimate irony.  Big pink bodies with flat snouts and little pincurl tails. Pigs who bury their noses in slop and like rolling around in the mud producing some of the greatest meat products ever.  As one of my favorite chefs, Emeril Lagasse says, “pork fat rules”.  So true.

This morning I met a friend for breakfast and of course, had bacon.  It’s the perfect side for something sweet like Belgium waffles or french toast with syrup.  A few bites of sweet, a few bits of salty/savory.  Simple and satisfying.  I’m pretty sure my friends laugh inside when we go out together for breakfast because I tend to order the same thing.  Why mess with a good thing?

Dinner tonight was a fend for yourself kind of night with lots of leftovers, but that’s not what I was craving.   I made a bacon and tomato sandwich paired with a sweet coleslaw, savory baked beans and salty chips.  Again, the bacon made the meal.  I know I do a lot of talking about food on this blog, but seriously, life is short.  If you can’t enjoy your food as well as sustain your body, what’s the point?

I have a sign in my room that says “I Love You More Than…” and then lists things like chocolate, winning, cupcakes, sunny days, monkeys like bananas  – and bacon.  I had to really think about that before I bought it because I wasn’t sure it was true.  Just kidding Doug : ) Maybe.