Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.  I’ve been talking about this for awhile.  Writing “the book”.  I had a few ideas of what I wanted to write a book about, but first I would start writing a blog, just to see how it would go over.  It has been a therapeutic venture for me and hopefully a time of entertainment or thought for my readers, whoever you may be.  You see, that’s a part of what is interesting about this blog thing.  I know how many are reading, but I don’t necessarily know who you are unless you say something on social media to me.

I have had readers from all over the world, some maybe only once but apparently have someone in Ireland who reads once in a while which is really pretty cool.  I wasn’t sure  I would have any readers here in town, much less across the country or across the world. Twenty six countries on every continent except Antarctica.  It’s amazing what the power of words and the internet can do.

While I haven’t written every day, I’ve done better than I thought I would.  In looking at my stats, I have written enough words for two novels since I began this crazy adventure. 96,000 words for 2018 alone.  Some blogs were composed of passionate, from the heart words and others struggled for words.  Writing is every bit as much a creative process as the music I have made my career, and while I question my authenticity as a writer – after all, I have no credentials to speak of, I also know there are musicians out there who have no so-called credentials as well, other than passion, work ethic and a dream, and yet they continue to touch people’s hearts through their art.  That is the hope I have for my writing.

I have learned from this past year that the things that touch people most are the honest, heartfelt, emotional blogs that either talk about my personal life experiences or how I feel about music and kids.  My purpose originally was to just talk about what kinds of daily experiences I had, but I have been heartwarmingly surprised that people sometimes have an interest in me and not just what I experience.  It has been eyeopening to connect with people who have experienced the same types of life events or shared philosophies who thank me for saying what they’ve been feeling or thinking.  It has also proven to be heartbreaking when I hear from people who are struggling when I never would have guessed they were.  It has made me look at others and myself in a different way.

So now I have accomplished my first goal, to write my very own blog.  What next?  Well, it seems I can create my own website now to get my blog out to more people.  Scary, but every new step should be a little scary.  And we will begin the year of the book.  “What’s So Special About Being a Music Specialist?” is one idea I’ve thought of but it seems too narrow.  I’ve thought about it being my personal journey through music.  I’ve thought about it just being anecdotes about my kids and my teaching experiences.  What I could use is feedback from readers as to what interests you in my writing.

June 1 is the target date to begin work on the book, just because I want a solid date, and so the form of the blog may change a bit as I focus on a bigger picture this year and then we’ll see where I it goes.  Thanks for supporting the new adventure of mine and for any feedback you want to give!

 

 

Twenty-eight years ago I was expecting my third child, the due date being near the 4th of July.  It was near the end of the school year and Doug was having his drum major tryouts at the high school so I was helping the kids with conducting patterns and getting their routines ready.  I was sitting on a band chair with my feet up when they began.  Contractions.  I was thinking Braxton Hicks and so I continued working with the kids during the contractions, not letting on that anything is happening.

I wish I could remember all the details exactly, but I do remember going to the hospital and they gave me something to slow the contractions and I was to stay in bed.  Unfortunately that didn’t work, so it was back to the hospital where they tried to give me something a bit stronger.  After a while, it seemed this baby was in a hurry to get out and because the hospital I was planning to have the baby didn’t have a NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) I was sent by ambulance across the river into Cincinnati.  I remember it was night and it was surreal watching the lights from the highway out the back window of the ambulance.  We arrived at the next hospital where again, they tried to keep this child where he was for a while.

Unfortunately I had issues with the medication and it was increasing my heart rate and breathing, so the doctor, whom I had never met before, told me they were going to go ahead and take the baby because they were concerned about me.  This was the second preemie baby for me, so I at least had a clue as to what to expect.  Except this time, Doug could be in the room with me during the C-section.  This caused more concern for me than the birth because, well, poor Doug has an aversion to blood and surgeries which caused me to check on him more during the C-section than worry about what was going on.  And before you knew it, Jacob Tyler Bush was born.

He was stubborn from the moment he was born.  He knew when the nurses were coming and would fight them as much as a preemie could.  Although he was smaller than my second baby, he stayed in the hospital for a shorter time because I think he was just that ornery.  For the next twenty eight years, this child, now a man, has fought hard to do things his way, whether it seemed to make sense to anyone else or not.  I’m pretty sure the term “hangry” was invented for him because when he became hungry he was almost uncontrollable.  It took us a while to figure that one out.  He was very particular how things should be, and he would try to get you on technicalities all the time.  If I didn’t give a direction just a certain way or if it inferred rather than be specific, he would find a loophole and argue that “that’s not what you said”.  He certainly prepared me for teaching certain children, let me tell you.

But before you think this child was always angry, he did have a soft side, mostly for his older brother.  David was the introvert where Tyler was the extreme opposite and so many times I would see the younger brother encouraging the older brother.  To this day, he can get his older brother to do things his dad and I can’t and are the best of friends.

By the time he graduated from high school, we had figured out that we weren’t going to be able to make him do anything he didn’t want to do.  Now there was a girl.  She had gotten a full ride to a school in another state and he wanted to go.  So, going against everything my mom instincts told me, we moved him to another state.  For the next year he worked two jobs, hung out at the university with his girlfriend and paid for his dirty little apartment.  After that year he decided to go to school – his way of course and worked his way through to a college degree.  By the way, he married the girl who saw so much potential in him and I will be forever grateful.

This is the young man whose birthday we celebrated today, in his new home with his beautiful wife and son.  Still doing things his way of course, but we’ve all learned that this is who he is and it obviously works for him.  So happy twenty-eighth birthday my son.  We love you.

The father and son were walking just slightly ahead of me at the mall yesterday, the boy behind the dad by a couple of steps.  Although the dad was talking to him, he wasn’t looking at him, staying intent on getting to wherever he was going, the boy following obediently.  As we walked into a department store with racks of women’s clothing, the boy, like many boys would do, put one of his arms straight out and let it run through the racks of clothes.  It wasn’t making a lot of noise and the boy wasn’t doing it to be destructive, it was just your basic boy move.  Being a few steps behind him, I smiled, but as any mom would do, was prepared should he actually knock something off or over.  The father was oblivious because while he was in the lead, he was not leading his son.

My husband owns a shirt that says something like “if you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.”  Is this the way we should view leadership?  We’re either leaders or we’re followers?  I would argue that the kind of leadership demonstrated by the father in the illustration above isn’t leadership at all, but rather an attitude.  More of a “I’m the important one in front and the rest of you have to follow me.”  I would argue that with real leadership, people aren’t behind you, they’re beside you.

We tend to have an almost militaristic view of leadership.  It’s the person leading the charge or giving orders and everyone else follows.  And that works for a while, but what if something happens to the leader?  What if a new leader takes their place?  Then the people following are either clueless at to how to continue by themselves or again blindly following someone else, perhaps not thinking for themselves or questioning the leadership.

There are a couple of things I believe good leaders should be able to do; delegate and trust people to do their jobs and spend time learning about people and listening to what they need to succeed.  Just because I believe this doesn’t mean I have necessarily been successful implementing them but I have watched others demonstrate these qualities and seen the very positive results.

I think one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in terms of leadership is not successfully helping those who are to follow in my position.  I felt I was diligent in passing on information and answering questions after the fact, but what I SHOULD have done was keep them beside me as I was doing the job, much more like a partner.  Everyone has their own leadership style, but if you’re struggling with understanding/following the strategic plan or learning the job description, you’re not really able to lead at the level you could if you were more prepared.  So instead of being that lead dog where the view only changes for you, how about bringing others along so they can see the view as well?

This is an obvious transition to teaching and student centered learning.  If I’m the only one doing the research for the information, the fount of knowledge, then I am again the lead dog while the others are just following, resulting in them not knowing what to do for themselves once the lead dog or teacher is no longer there.  We’re especially guilty of this in music education, where ensemble conductors make all the decisions, dictating to their students what they need to do and where general music teachers stand and talk about music history and theory.   Kind of goes back to the militaristic thing which explains band directors to a “T”. (Just kidding – I love band directors : ) This is not leadership, it is putting on a show for everyone to see just how good “your” groups or ensembles are.  Not the students who belong to the groups, just you.  No wonder a majority of students stop playing or singing after high school or, if we’re lucky, college.  The students have remained behind us and not beside us.

This summer I need to really consider how to adjust my leadership style to bring my students beside me as well as members of my board.  It means being prepared and being prepared to let go but always being available when needed.  It means allowing others to try things, encouraging them in both success and failure.  If making music is truly a collaborative effort let’s bring others beside us rather than leave them behind us.

 

 

When you ask someone what leadership looks like, few people will describe someone who quietly does their job, day in and day out with a smile on their face.  Always professional, never showy, always firm but kind, encouraging others rather than lifting themselves up.  But this is exactly what great leadership looks like, someone who lifts others up and allows them to use their gifts, helping them along the way, but not micromanaging.  This perfectly describes my current assistant principal who is headed to her next great adventure as a principal of another elementary school.

Assistant principals have an amazing amount of work and like most people in the educational system get very little credit for it.  Late nights, meetings with parents, staying for school events and the daily challenge of working with young people who struggle behaviorally can take a toll on anyone, but somehow she always manages to stay (or at least look) calm, cool and collected.  Her leadership is consistent, not only for the faculty and staff, but more importantly, for the students.  I can be having a hard time with a student and she can walk in and very quietly ask them to go with her and they do.  She has built a trust with the students that gives them a sense of safety and security.

I was fortunate enough to sit in on interviews for her position and she definitely stood out from the rest. While the others did a nice job, she came across as an authority, someone who loved what she did and was excited for the challenge of opening a new school.  The choice was clear to us and we were thrilled when she accepted the position.  We were not disappointed.   I think all of the staff would describe her as quietly outgoing, not boisterous but with a great sense of humor, seeing the humor in the crazy things children can do, and situations we can all get ourselves in.  This woman has never demanded respect but has certainly earned it.  The faculty and staff are her friends and colleagues and she transitions smoothly from friendly banter to working on teaching strategies.  Her day consists of troubleshooting and trying to stay ahead of whatever needs to be done next, with the occasional run down the hallway to help a child who may be really struggling.  At the end of the day she can be found outside, rain, snow or shine helping kids get across the the crosswalk, waving and talking to parents and making sure each child gets away from school safely.

She would never consider herself an example to follow but she is.  She is a wife, mother, career woman and a leader.  However, the most important attributes she has are what is inside.  She is kind, caring, dedicated, responsible, hard working and the epitome of a team player.  These are the kinds of traits we try to teach our students every day and she stands as a great example for them and also for me.

I’m not one to speak from the heart in a face to face kind of way, but knowing that she reads this blog, I just want to say that it has been an honor to work with her these last two years and I will miss her.  I will miss sharing silly stories about the kids with her at lunch, I will miss walking by her cheerful office, I will miss watching her work with individual kids and making them smile, even when they don’t want to.  I know you will be amazing at your new school because you care so much about educating the whole child and that means supporting the teachers who provide that education.  I know you are the kind to develop relationships quickly and that everyone at your new school will love and support you like we do.  And as one leader to another, I need to let you know that I have learned from you and I believe this will help me develop into a better leader.

When you have someone who affects your life, who has changed things for the better, it’s important to let them know in some way.  It’s hard for me, being the introvert I am and having a fear of rejection, to let people know how I really feel. It’s something I’m working on, trying to let people know how much I care about and admire them.  Thank you Steph for coming into our lives and leaving Wysong a better place.

 

In all honesty, this isn’t really fair.  After all, most parents are going to get one to maybe five kids tops for the summer.  Today alone, I had close to 90 kids, 20-26 at a time.  The comparison isn’t even close.  And yes, while all of the kids were beyond excited for the last day of school, I have begin by sharing my 50 minute marathon with Kindergarten today.

As they came to the door, I was quietly warned by their teacher that they were really wound up and that one child was doing things she had never seen before.  Never a good thing to hear but always nice to have a bit of a heads up.  As they walked in to sit on a dot on the floor, something they had done every day of the school year, they wandered around the room, asking why the risers had moved and trying to walk/hide between them.  Like a herd of cats, I guided them away from the risers and encouraged them to again, find their dot.

Almost immediately one of the girls comes to complain about a couple of other girls and how she doesn’t want to sit by them.  So I try to get one of them to move, to which she responds with a resounding “no”.  I ask her to move again with the same response.  Then comes the decision.  She has said no twice, it’s the last day of school, I really don’t want to call for someone to come get her.  Then she grabs a pointer and decides to be my official assistant for our singing.  Great, she’s distracted, but now all of the kids are saying they can’t see because of her.  Not true because as I walk around, I can see everything, but they’re yelling at her now.  I shift her and now she’s playing with my markers and erasers.  In the meantime, I have a boy punching at another boy and have to move him.

I have several girls who are making a career of tattling on each other and every other minute they’re walking up to me to complain about something.  During that other minute, someone is coming up and asking to use the bathroom, holding themselves as they do it for emphasis.  We finally get through the songs I want to do and now I have something on long/short sounds and we’re going to use scarves and beanbags.  Who was the crazy person who decided that would be a good idea?

Again, we’ve worked on procedures for how to handle these things all year, but apparently the last day of school means all of that goes out the window.  Scarves start on laps but end up on heads and tied around arms and made into skirts.  Beanbags can’t seen to stay in their hands and they keep popping up and down like popcorn.  When I finally get them to be still for a millisecond, we begin moving to the music, using our scarves and beanbags to interpret long and short.  They do pretty well until we have to trade them.  Some interpret trade as trading places, some interpret it as trading equipment and some interpret as both.  So now they’re all barking orders at others who didn’t do things the way THEY did and the kids they’re barking at are responding loudly.  I’m pretty sure I just stood there and looked at them for a little bit, not even knowing where to begin.

Enough with those, let’s put them away and play a game where we get to sing, play a couple of instruments and throw a beanbag into a drum.  It’s organized, it only has four elements to it, how hard could it be?  Well, before we started, I had five students sitting out, one crying because I moved her for continuing to talk over me and tell others what to do, another one for making fun of her crying, another for pushing someone, and I can’t even remember why I moved the other two.  So for the last 10 minutes we tried to play the game, but again, they were all yelling at each other anything they did that was even slightly different from the rules I gave them.  Having completely lost patience with them, I took everything away from them and had them just sit on the dots until their teacher came back.  I was done.  They had beaten me today and quite honestly, it wasn’t worth fighting.  I had survived the 50 minutes and would be praying in earnest for their teacher for the rest of the afternoon.

So, back to that “tag you’re it” thing.  It would only be true if parents got to experience this every day of the summer while we got to rest.  The ones I’m really feeling for are those parents who are teachers.  I’ve been there.  To all of my teacher colleagues, I’m wishing you a restful, rejuvenating summer.  We’ve certainly earned it.

I began writing tonight’s blog hours ago and while I thought I had this great idea, the more I wrote, the more I hated it.  It sounded shallow, contrived and a little preachy, like I have all the answers to make your life better.  Like my words can actually change your way of thinking.  Pretty egotistical as well.

Tonight is one of those nights where I’m struggling to find something to write about but I know just staying in the habit of writing is good for me, so here goes my stream of consciousness.  I want my words to mean something, I want them to make people think and feel something.  That maybe there is something in my journey that will connect me to you and we can find common ground and hopefully make our world a better place.

Lofty or egotistical?  I think we all want to find our place in the world, the reason we exist, and we want to be all we were meant to be.  So when I find myself in a place I never imagined and reflect on how I arrived, my first thought is to share the experience with you so that you might be encouraged to do something similar or at the very least, perhaps find a kindred spirit.

So maybe tonight, I’ll share what I’m grateful for instead of the usual “try to be inspiring or funny” blog.  I found myself being grateful for the sunshine, wind and the sound of the birds this morning as I drove to work.  I was grateful for a reliable car and a place to work with great colleagues and kids who are actually a lot of fun when they’re not losing their minds.  I was grateful for the ladies who came from a local church today bringing all the fixings for banana splits as a way to say thank you to teachers.

I’m grateful for close family, a husband who is always thinking of kind things to do and say, my boys, their girls and my new grandson.  I’m grateful that they’re all doing pretty well and finding their way in the world.  I’m grateful that I had food to eat today, clothes to wear and woke up in a beautiful comfortable bed.  I’m grateful that I have the ability to go for a walk with my best friend on a beautiful spring evening and drop in on one of my boys and his family.

I’m grateful for a career that spanned 27 years as of tomorrow and all of the wonderful musicians I have met over the years from all over the country.  I’m grateful to still be able to learn new things and contribute something to the world.  And while there are little daily annoyances and big ticket surprises that happen once in a while, I can look at all my blessings that are really too many to list here and be content.

So as tomorrow is the last day of school for this year, I will get ready to close up shop for another summer before beginning year number twenty eight in August.  I hope that wherever you are in your life that you have an opportunity to list what you are grateful for and spread a little sunshine in your little corner of the world.  And maybe I’ll find something to preach about tomorrow.

 

I played no games today, did no running, did no teaching and yet I am so sore and tired.  It doesn’t help that I’m not in the greatest shape, but there’s something about helping set things up for field day, getting rained on and standing out in the heat all afternoon that completely wears me out, all for kids to have an hour and 45 minutes of fun.

They were excited all day, beginning as they sat in the gym before school started.  Apparently it was difficult to get their attention and keep it even before class began.  We then spent about an hour setting up games before the 5th graders came out to run through everything as they were going to run them for the younger students.  I have to admit that there’s something a bit magical watching 5th graders on their way to middle school, thinking they’re “all that”, become little kids again as they play limbo and run a water relay.   I watched as kids cheered each other on, gave each other high fives and hugs.  I couldn’t help but smile.

Then the thunder began, we began looking at the skies for lightning.  The drops began and before we knew it the heavens opened.  Adults were running equipment under the porches, electronics for music, parachutes, chalk in boxes, and kids were scurrying into the building.  It wasn’t supposed to rain after 9:00 this morning, so how was the rest of the day going to go?  After the rain stopped, I remembered that the burlap sacks for the sack race had been left in the rain, so I went out to bring them under the porch and hoped they would dry out before we actually needed to use them this afternoon.  I had forgotten how nasty and smelly wet burlap can be.

After lunch and lunch duty, we began resetting some equipment and it was looking like the rain would hold off.  However, now it was hot and steamy.  I’m already looking very attractive having been rained on earlier, but now I don the hat and sunglasses so that I can sweat under both.  The kids come out of their pods covered in sunscreen, some carrying water, all excited to begin and for the next hour and 45 minutes they rotate through the games and contests.

The 5th graders, some of whom have difficulty in the classroom, are doing an amazing job of running the games and helping the younger students.  One of the boys was being very particular in terms of what passed for doing the limbo correctly and the other boy working with him said, “give them a break – they’re little!” What a great opportunity for them to be responsible for running something and serving other students and they seemed to love it.

As for me, I spent the afternoon walking the length of the games, applying bandaids to skinned knees, elbows and fingers.  After all, tug of war and sack races can be brutal.  Despite the wounds, the kids had a great time, with lots of squealing and laughter.  As we spend days trying to cram things into their brains and keep them as well behaved as possible, sometimes we forget that they are are just kids, kids who want to play and laugh in the sunshine and eat popsicles afterwards.  Kids who yell “mommy, did you see what I did?” from underneath the parachute.  Kids who play in the buckets of water for the sponge relay, kids who cheer each other on during the obstacle course.  It warmed my heart as a class cheered on a classmate who struggles physically, completely patient with his halting step, not caring that he was last.  The big smile on his face said it all as every child had their time to shine.

And after it was all over, and the kids had picked up all of the equipment and had their treats, the bell rang and they cheerfully walked, rode their bikes and caught their rides home.  And I, sore, sweaty and tired, dashed home to participate in a virtual meeting where I tried not to fall asleep.  So why do we do this type of activity year after year with our kids?  Well, despite all of the work and interruptions to the school day, the payoff is watching these kids in a different light, bringing new insight for us as teachers so that we get to know these kids just a little bit better.  It’s to provide a memory for us to grab hold of when they’re misbehaving in class next year and we remember the smiles and sportsmanship they showed during this crazy day.  In the meantime, I’m going to finish up here, grab some Tylenol and crash.

The squirrel had no fear, getting closer and closer to me as I sat at the outdoor table drinking my milkshake.  It was licking up every little bit of spilled ice cream that had melted on the sidewalk.  Doug took a spoonful of his ice cream and dropped it on the ground so the squirrel picked it up with its little front paws and ate it.  Then he moved towards me, got up on its hind legs and looked at me with those big brown eyes. No, not Doug, the squirrel.  I told the squirrel that I had nothing to offer it, but it just kept looking at me, so, as I had both a long spoon and a straw in my milkshake, I got a spoonful and put it towards the squirrel, who then grabbed hold of it with me and sucked down the milkshake.  Then I gave him the spoon and he proceeded to lick off every drop.  Doug was pretty sure this little guy was an ice cream junkie.

For the next several moments I continued to have this crazy, whimsical conversation with this beautiful little red squirrel sitting right next to me, begging for more ice cream.  Certainly a first for me and as I told Doug, the “funnest” thing I had done in a while.  But that was me, being me in the moment.  I don’t often do this kind of thing.  Oh, I may think about doing it, but then common sense or fear takes over and I just wish I had done it. Of course, knowing a squirrel bite could end up giving me rabies should have been something to fear, but I didn’t get bitten, so – whatever.

Doug decided to take a picture to mark this interesting occasion, but he only photographed from the elbow down so as not to show my face.  A bit like the Ed Sullivan show opting to only show Elvis Presley moving from the waist up.  Perhaps showing my face while feeding a squirrel would be a bit inappropriate?  No, the real reason was he wasn’t sure if it was legal to feed squirrels ice cream.  After all, how often does this really happen? However, yes, it is legal to feed squirrels in the state of Nebraska, the only caveat being that in doing so, you might create a nuisance.  I’m pretty sure this squirrel was already a nuisance before I arrived.

Soon, a family came down the sidewalk, fascinated by the cute little squirrel, until it started to stalk them.  The mom and kids backed away quickly while dad got ahead of everyone just to make sure he had the car going for them I suppose.  Surely he wasn’t afraid of one itty bitty squirrel?  Having given the squirrel my spoon I found myself in trouble when it wanted more.  So, like any good Samaritan would do, I sucked up a bunch of milkshake and blew it onto the sidewalk.  Immediately my little friend was lapping up the chocolate ice cream and I could once again focus on me and my milkshake.  Unfortunately I did get a little bit on the back of the poor squirrel, prompting Doug to create a scenario for when this poor creature returned home to his wife. “Been begging for ice cream again!” she would say, shaking her little furry head.  What’s a wife to do when her squirrley husband has such a sweet tooth?

This whole experience today could explain why I’m a sucker for squirrley kids with big eyes, looking at me for something more.  More patience, one more chance to correct a behavior, one more time to play a fun game or sing a favorite song.  Not a good thing for a teacher necessarily, but sometimes you’ve just got to let go and do something “funner”.  Something you might not always do but you grab the moment and go for it so that everyone has a good time.  I’m pretty sure I would try this kind of thing again with my little friend.  Only maybe next time I would pick up more spoons.

 

 

Summer is fast approaching and the anticipation of creating a whole new routine is beyond exciting.  Last year, my morning routine consisted of watching a TED talk, eating breakfast outside whenever possible, answering emails and writing the blog.  I had talked about writing for some time, but I finally sat down and gave it a try last summer and have been able to continue that throughout the year which I consider a success.  There are many things I talk about doing or will begin and not finish, thinking it’s something I should do, but this year I’m thinking a little differently.  I think this year it’s time to weed my garden.

I heard this great analogy today describing lives as a deserted garden to begin weeding, clearing out and planting again or for the first time.  I don’t know that my garden is deserted as much as it is overgrown and unorganized.  Full of things I have planted and neglected, full of possible beauty being choked out by the weeds of things I feel like I have to do but don’t really want to do.  The weeds that should be cleared out and thrown away so that I can plant something I can really take the time to nurture.

I have planted things that others have said I should plant and being a pleaser, I do it.  But once they aren’t paying attention, I’m not either and I might water it once in a while, but it never reaches its full potential because it’s not something I wanted to plant in the first place.  One of the reasons things get neglected in my garden is because I allow myself to get distracted by other things, mostly in the form of screens these days, rather than taking the time to breathe and cultivate my only garden.

It is my only garden you know, just as your garden is your only one.  And the garden is only as healthy and beautiful as we make it to be.  You see, gardens will just continue to exist whether we do anything purposeful to it or not, so we can have a garden of weeds, still growing but not really serving its purpose.  But the beauty of gardens is that we can get rid the weeds, and either nurture what we have already started or begin from scratch and start over again.  Gardens are forgiving that way, always giving us as many chances as we need to get it right.

Feeding our garden is so important, providing the right nourishment, water and sunshine to grow.  We need to visit the garden regularly to make sure those pesky weeds we’ve worked so hard to clear out aren’t attempting to sneak back in when we get busy.  The best of intentions are no excuse for just getting in there often to do the work so that we don’t get overwhelmed.

Pretty sure I’m running out of analogies here, other than this.  In the last several years, I have really found joy in planting flowers outside and at first I was really intimidated by this new hobby of mine.  What if I overwatered or didn’t water enough?  What if I didn’t plant them deep enough or have the right soil?  The what if’s do tend to pop up when you’re planting a new garden but what I think I’ve learned is that if I am diligent and observant, I can see when I need to take some action.  I can ask people for help and advice or read about how to care for these new plants.  And I can just trust my instincts.  Does what I’m doing to nurture this garden feel right?  If not, I can change it or move it or replant it.  But once I get it, I make sure to stay in a daily habit of deadheading the flowers and checking the moisture in the soil and I am rewarded with beautiful flowers all summer long.

This summer, I may begin to take out those weeds chocking out my garden, maybe less time with the screens, more time reading and walking, drinking water and getting sun.  Spending quality time with people I love and people I want to get to know better.  Learning from those I admire and releasing those in my life who my pastor always called a “life suck”.  Growing a garden that is all mine, free from the weeds of procrastination and fear, and one that people will see for its genuine beauty.

 

I just saw a quote today that perfectly described a friend I spent part of the day with.

“Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful”. 

This describes her to a “T” as this is a woman who has dealt with many blows during her life, so many in fact that no one would blame her if she was angry and bitter towards the world.  She is the epitome of the question, why do bad things happen to good people?  She might even be considered a modern day Job.  But just like Job, while she may question once in a while, she has always looked to God for strength and has given thanks for the good things she has.

Instead of becoming bitter, she has become more empathetic and understanding.  She spends time serving others and doing what she is most passionate about – teaching.  She loves her children and they love her.  She continues to want to make the world a better place and does whatever she can for anyone who has less than she has and inspires her students to do the same.  She doesn’t just send them out to do it but is a living example to them as she joins them in serving others.

She opens her home to students and continues to mentor them after graduation when they seek advice, need to vent or need food.  Quiet and unassuming, this is just the way she believes life should be – sharing the best of yourself with others, not dwelling on yourself and your own problems.  A lesson we could all take to heart.

And while you might think she is this overly pious serious woman, I have to share that part of our day today was spent trying on sunglasses and laughing at each other as well as encouraging each other when something looked great, challenging each other to step out of our usual humdrum comfort zone of plain practicality.  After all, as she has found out, you only live once and she is slowly learning how to embrace life for all it’s worth.  This is hard for a person who tends to only think of others, to spend time doing things for yourself, but with encouragement and faith, she is beginning to step into new adventures.

Our current culture would encourage her to forget everyone else – she has earned the right to just think of herself.  After all, look at all she has gone through.  It certainly seems to be a great excuse to only think of your own wants and needs.  But imagine if everyone took the bad things, the rough patches, the pain they experienced in their lives and turned it into good for others.  How might that change our world?

I had a little talk with my 5th graders the other day about how powerful lyrics can be in songs.  I asked the question, if you look at lyrics of the songs you listen to today, are they reflecting the culture or are they trying to change the culture?  Some of the kids referred to a couple of songs addressing suicide and how they encourage young people to just wait another day and seek help.  Certainly a way to help change of culture of young people people taking their lives.  One young man in my class has experienced that with a family member and I was concerned that this would adversely affect him so I shared with them that I believe that in this life, we are allowed to go through certain things so that we in turn could help people who have gone through the same things.  We could be that empathetic ear of someone who has lived through the same situation and survived.  it’s a powerful message and one that can bring people together.  I hope it helped him think of how he can take this advice to heart and help others. This is certainly a lesson my friend has embraced in her life journey.

So tonight, as I am counting my blessings, I am grateful to my friend who has taught me that there is beauty after darkness.  Beauty that comes from a life willing to care for others.