Another mass shooting.  Another day of anger and opinions on social media.  Everyone has the answer and condemns anyone who disagrees with them.  And everyone’s answer is simple and one dimensional.  I don’t mean to insult anyone with that statement, but just stick with me for a minute while I flesh this out.  Here are some of the things I’ve seen and heard:

Take away all the guns

Get better mental health services

Better screening for buying guns

It’s the result of evil in the world

Send thoughts and prayers

We’re all searching for the thing that ties all of this together, the one thing we can stop and all of this will end because we all just want to fix it.  The problem is, we can’t tie this violence to just one thing, and in the meantime, we try harder to increase security, being reactive to each situation.  We’re also looking at these situations through our own eyes, with our own perceptions and our own experiences.  I’m not trying to dismiss this by any means, but it is what sometimes causes us to look at things in a one dimensional way.  Our way.

You know, somebody, somewhere saw this coming.  Maybe they didn’t WANT to see it coming and maybe they didn’t want to say something for fear of appearing to be an alarmist.  Maybe nobody bothered to check up on this guy after he was dishonorably discharged to make sure he was handling things well.  Was this anger?  Was it despair?  Was it insanity?  Is there anyone in our circle of friends and family who has isolated themselves or is acting differently?  Would you know if they were?  I mean, we live in a pretty shallow society, living through our devices.  Did anyone bother to check on him or talk to him?  Would it have mattered?

Everyone always says, he seemed so quiet, kept to himself, he was a nice guy.  Do they really know?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t really know all of my neighbors.  I don’t know what they all do.  I wouldn’t know if something was different or not.  That says more about me than them, doesn’t it?  Have I taken the time, stepped out of my comfort zone?  No, because I’m too wrapped up in my own life.  So, I trust that someone else will take care of things should something happen.

So, perhaps, instead of waiting for the government or someone else to do something about this, how are we as individuals being proactive about this?  Is there someone you know who is struggling?  Someone who needs you to spend some quality time talking with them, getting to know them?  My personal thought is that someone who commits this kind of violence has nothing to lose.  Maybe we should be giving them something they don’t want to lose.

So here are my personal thoughts on this, agree or disagree, but it comes from my personal perspective, right?  Taking away everyone’s guns is not the answer.  This type of violence is not going to be stopped because we take a weapon away.  Someone who is that angry, that insane, that driven, will find something.  Just think fertilizer.  Screening seems to be a proactive, sensible thing to do.  This would certainly make it harder to get a gun, however, people who really want to find a gun are going to be able to find it.  Getting better mental health services is a wonderful thing, but you have to get the person needing those services to go.  It’s too expensive for some and a lot of people who need the help don’t think they do.  This is where friends and families encouraging the person helps.  But, if this person has isolated themselves, can we really do anything?

Is this a result of evil in the world?  My faith tells me yes.  In this world, there are opposites.  Good and evil are an example of that.  And while I have rarely personally experienced true evil in the world, I see it and read it in the news every day.  And I see the good that can come out of it when people come together to help one another.  Isn’t it a shame that we don’t come together BEFORE something happens?

Thoughts and prayers.  Yes, both are important, and again, my faith tells me to pray without ceasing.  Some may feel that it is a waste of time, but I’ve seen God work in my life and in others through prayer.  Is prayer enough?  Well, I like to think that my God is powerful enough to do anything, but I also believe that he equips us to do the work as well.  Which is where we go back to being there for each other.  Being proactive, spending quality time with people, checking on them and not always assuming that everything is okay.  Saying something when you feel like you should.

All this to say that this is not as simple as finding THE solution.  It is a combination of things that need to be done, hopefully proactive rather than reactive.  But I feel that the most important thing needs to be more personal contact with as many people as we can.  And this includes me.  I need to make sure I take more time with my family and friends and see how they’re doing, have real conversations and being more sensitive to what they are feeling.  Maybe if more people feel that have someone to go to when they’re struggling, they won’t take it out on innocent people.

 

X-Files.  My first TV crush.  Pretty sure I watched every episode from day 1 to the end, in real time.  No binge watching on Netflix yet.  The theme of the series was Trust No One.  We watched the characters deal with events during every episode where this was their mantra and they approached every situation with their eyes wide open and some level of distrust.  They only trusted each other, and even then there were times when they THOUGHT the other person had done something to cause distrust, and it was crushing.  Because when you finally find someone or something you feel you can completely trust, it is devastating when you find out that person or thing has a flaw.

This last week there were several times when the issues of trust jumped out at me.  For instance, while stopped at a light the other day, I just watched the other drivers.  Everyone was basically following the rules, waiting for their turn, watching each other.  In order to not be scared to death when someone gets near you with their car, there has to be an incredible level of trust.  I am trusting that that skinny little yellow line is going to keep your massive dump truck away from my little yellow beetle.  That’s why it can be literally devastating when someone doesn’t follow the rules and there’s an accident.  There’s a certain level of trust that I believe never really returns.  I was in several accidents with different drivers when I was in high school and 40 years later, I still have the same fearful reaction when I see someone I think is getting too close or if I perceive that someone I’m riding with doesn’t put on their brakes quickly enough.

I also witnessed an awesome thing a trusting relationship can produce.  I attended a concert the other night where it was just a pianist and vocalist, both of the highest professionalism.  A good accompanist will follow every little nuance that the soloist wants to share through the music, but this was as though these two people were of one mind.  And when a soloist can trust their accompanist to that degree, magic happens.  You no longer separate the performers and there is no stress because you, as a listener begin to trust in the sound and just absorb the emotional message it is sending.  It was literally stunning.  Of course, practice, high standards and hard work contribute to this, but at some point, the performers have to let go and trust. I can’t imagine the high they feel after each performance.

I think this is one reason I dislike technology so much.  I can’t trust it.  One time you do something and it works just fine, and the next time you do exactly the same things and it says, no, no, no.  It’s like it’s trying to push your buttons while you’re pushing theirs.  As a musician/performer/teacher it feels like I’m being forced to embrace technology (because print is dead, you know), but every time I have to use it, there is that fear that I’ll be standing in front of an audience and look very unprofessional because the thing I’m depending on is so undependable.  And it has failed me on numerous occasions.

Relationships are like that as well.  What is that saying, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?”  That’s because after you’ve been messed over once, you should be wary.  Forgiveness for someone being human is one thing, but if someone says they’re sorry and doesn’t try to change their ways, and you put up with it, that’s your fault.  That’s why I think relationships like marriage are so hard.  If you believe commitment is more important than trust, than you may end up being used and abused.  Both are a two way street, but lacking commitment is breaking trust.  Trust is the key ingredient as it includes everything else.  This doesn’t mean that I trust my partner or husband to be perfect.  I trust that he is doing his best to be a good husband.

For instance, the other night we were walking downtown together after dark and crossing streets.  He insists on walking on the side where IF a car were to do something stupid, he would be between me and the car.  It’s not that I can’t take care of myself crossing the street, but he wants me to trust him to do his best to take care of me.  And that creates that magical bond, just like the vocalist and her accompanist.  We work together that way.

While trust is, of course, important in adult relationships, where it is most important is with children.  Because, just like the accidents I had have created a distrust in me concerning driving for the rest of my life, imagine what it does to a child to have an adult or adults in their life whom they can’t trust.  They have no other options – they must depend on adults to survive, and when an important adult in their life doesn’t step between them and the cars, their lives are lived in fear.  I spend so much time with children.  How many times have I said or done things, unintentionally to cause fear and distrust in a child?  I don’t know.  Like every human, I am flawed.  But I can work hard from today on so that the mantra of Trust No One is not something one of my kids ever has to chant.

 

The great thing about education, especially younger children, is that you never know what’s going to come out of their mouths.  It’s a little more predictable with the older kids usually, but today I encountered some comments I had never heard before.

The lesson was a typical yearly one – getting ready for Heritage School.  Each year, the 4th grade goes to a one room schoolhouse and re-enacts what it was like to be a kid in the late 1800s as part of their Nebraska social studies.  Part of the preparation for that is to teach them songs that kids would have sung during that time period.  So we’re singing Sweet Betsy from Pike, which describes the trials of a couple going west during the California gold rush.

First of all, some of the kids start to grump about Heritage School.  What do you mean we have to go back to the 1800s?  What if I don’t want to wear a dress?  I’ve never worn a dress and I’m not going to now.  We have to stay ALL DAY?  Will we still have recess?  If I’m absent, do I have to go?  What if my parents say I don’t have to go?  If I can’t take peanut butter and jelly for lunch, I’m not going.  Well, okaaaaaay….

So back to the song.  We sing through it and I explain that a covered wagon trip out west could take as long as 9 months.  “Nine months?!?  Why didn’t they just take a train?” Well, the transcontinental railroad was built between 1863 and 1869. “Well, why didn’t they just wait?”

This last question completely stopped me.  Wait for what?  “Wait for things to get better.  Wait for things to get built”.   I hesitated, still not sure what this child was asking.  Why would they want to wait?  “So things would be easier“.  Well, how would they know it was going to be easier?  “Well, if they just wait, it will get better”.   There was no comprehension on their part that nobody knew in 1849 that a transcontinental railroad was going to be built. How could you wait on something you didn’t know was going to happen?

What an interesting point of view.  After they left, I kept pondering the discussion we had during class.  First of all, there was a lack of any sense of adventure, to experience something completely different from what they do now.  Going backward in time would bring about too many difficulties, too many uncomfortable changes, none of which they were willing to try.  But where did the idea that just waiting for things to get better would make things easier?

And then I started thinking about technology.  How many times have you heard somebody say, let’s wait for the next version of such and such because it will be better?  Waiting for the next device to make things easier which apparently makes things better.  People always say work smarter, not harder, but does that mean we should never have to work hard?  Unfortunately, it seems that more and more kids are looking for ways to make things easier rather than have to work for what they get.  And while it would be NICE if life were always easy, it is a concern for me that if we always allow kids the easy way out or only show them the easy way to do things, that when life gets hard, they won’t  be able to handle it.

I’m already hearing stories of college students and even new teachers freaking out because things happen they can’t handle so they just shut down.  They have no strategies, no bag of tricks to work through hard times.  As parents and teachers, we seem to want to wrap kids up in a cocoon to protect them from all the hard times, the hurt, the struggles.  And what we’re getting are kids who look for the easy way, and if they can’t get the easy way, they don’t want to have anything to do with it.  This is a scary thing, both for them and for our society.

I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m thrilled that I don’t have to use an outhouse like I did at my grandmother’s house, but if I HAD to do it, I could handle it.  I have it pretty cushy now, but I’ve survived preemie babies, financial problems, deaths in the family among other things and have come out stronger in the end.  Hardship can make us stronger, but if we don’t allow children to experience some hardship early, both physically and emotionally, life can be pretty cruel later on.

So, where do we go from here?  As adults, we all want to make a wonderful life for children.  But the kindest thing we can do for them is to expose them to a little work and hardship early so that they become healthy adults who can handle the inevitable hardships that life is going to throw at them.  Even if it means wearing a dress and not having peanut butter.

 

Today the stars aligned, and not in a good way.  The period of time between Halloween and Christmas, especially at an elementary school is certainly a challenge for the adults in their lives.  And today, not only was it Halloween, but it was an early release day AND it snowed for the first time this season.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been a full moon.  The kids are so excited and to us, it’s just something that gets in the way of teaching and learning.  I admit, I’m one of those adults who looks upon this time with dread as classroom management can be a nightmare.

It’s not that I don’t remember being a kid during the holidays.  I went trick or treating with my brother.  I don’t remember us putting a lot of thought into what we wore; it was more of a “what do you want to wear tonight thing” and we would just make something up.  Thanksgiving was a lot of food and Christmas was all about gifts.  I remember the trappings of the holidays, but not necessarily the feelings associated with them.

When my boys were little, there were times when their excitement was just so visible.  I remember one of the boys coming out to the living room Christmas morning and he looked at the tree with  all of the presents and just shook with excitement.  And the morning all three woke up to new bikes.  Halloween sometimes consisted of doing an alternative thing at church or, as they got older, grabbing an old pillowcase and seeing who could get the most candy.  Again, I remember the visual, but it’s hard to reconstruct the feelings associated with it.

Tonight was the first time I had gone out with children for trick or treating in probably 20 years or more.  I was looking forward to it, but wasn’t looking forward to the cold.  When we arrived, Batman and Darth Vader greeted us at the door with smiles and hugs.  We sat for a quick dinner and we bundled up to go through the neighborhood.  At the ages of nine and four, most kids I’ve dealt with have gone trick or treating before.  However in this case, the nine year old had only gone once and the four year old had never gone.  So there were some rules set out by mom and dad and off we went.

And here’s where I hope I can describe the experience.  At the first house, the older boy led the way, ringing the doorbell, with the younger boy waiting behind him.  As the neighbor came to the door with candy, the boys yelled “trick or treat!” and the lady commented on how she loved their costumes.  Then she proceeded to put handfuls of candy in their little orange plastic pumpkin buckets.  I think that’s when it hit the four year old.  Okay, I go to a house with lights on, I ring the doorbell and they give me stuff.  He took off like lightning, now with the older one trying to keep up.  He got to the door, and not understanding that you only have to ring the doorbell once, pushed it several times.  A little more instruction on doorbell ringing.  Then off they ran, the excitement building with each doorbell and handful of candy.

The joy was palpable.  These were kids who didn’t take this for granted.  Everything that was happening was new and exciting.  They were with people who would hold their hands crossing the street and help them learn the in’s and out’s of the traditions of the holiday.  Their other “grandma” and I just kept laughing, not just because they were funny, but because the joy was contagious.  All of a sudden the cold and the long walk didn’t matter.  We were struggling to keep up with them and laughing all the way.

I’m starting to understand that this may be the joy of grandparenting.  As a parent, I was always too concerned with making sure they were behaving, or in the right place at the right time, or eating their veggies.  I remember being pretty uptight and I don’t think that I really stopped to experience the fun with them.  I regret that. I’m starting to understand that it’s not so much that grandparents spoil their grandkids, I think it’s that we’ve finally figured out that life is too short to waste it worrying about things that don’t really matter and that taking time to take in the joy is more important.  And it’s also my job to encourage the parents, letting them know that they’re doing a great job and letting them know it’s okay to relax once in a while and experience the joy themselves before it’s too late.  They’re only young once.

So tonight, on the craziest day of the school year, I’m grateful to have experienced Halloween through the eyes of Batman and Darth Vader.  Now I’m looking forward to Christmas!

 

With all respect to Aretha Franklin (pun intended), I’m going to write a commentary concerning basic respect.  In my day, you respected your elders (and youngers if you were a kind person) or you were usually in major trouble.  AND WE LIKED IT!  Ok, I’m starting to sound like the “get off my lawn” guy, but the longer I teach, the more transparent the disrespect becomes.  I’m not so naive to think that all of my students have always respected me.  Sometimes I didn’t deserve the respect.  But it was usually more covert, or the kids talked to each other behind my back.  Now the disrespect is much more transparent, and the interesting thing is, some students seem completely taken aback when I do something about it. Or in the case of this last week, TRY to do something about it.

This last week when asking students to participate in an activity during class, several looked me in the eye and said “no”.  Now, the usual thing for me to do is to remind them that music is a class, just like any other class, like reading or math and ask them if they would refuse to do what math teacher asked and they usually say no.  Well, then why do you feel like you can say no in music?  Because I don’t want to do it.  Hmmm.  Then we try the encouraging thing.  I know you can do it!  Let’s just give it a try and I’ll help you.  No.  They didn’t budge.  Then we have to do the consequence thing.  If you don’t participate you give me no choice and I have to ask you to sit away from your friends (we’re not allowed to call it a specific title anymore because it can apparently hurt their self esteem.  Who knew?)  And the response?  Go ahead, it doesn’t mean anything anyway and I don’t care.  Okay….

So in one case, I sent the student to the Buddy Room, where that teacher asked what was going on and this student looked at him and said “I didn’t want to do it so I told her no”.  Not apologetic, just matter-of-fact.  No.  Now, what do I do with a student who refuses to do something and doesn’t care what the consequences are?  Maybe because there are no real consequences.  But some of that is above my pay grade.

We seem to think in this culture that we can just be logical with children about things.  That if we just talk to them and give them time to think about it that everything will be fine.  And for some kids, it is enough because there is something in them that understands that being disrespectful is wrong, and they’re sorry.  But there are those stubborn, usually highly intelligent kids who get that there are no real consequences happening and so they’ve got nothing to lose.  If they are disrespectful they get a few minutes in a safe seat or a time out and then they get to come back.  It’s not very painful and they can deal with that AND they’ve gotten to say or behave the way they felt like behaving.  Showing respect for people should be a foundational lesson for children.  You don’t have to agree with everyone or even like them, but unless they’ve done something major to lose your respect, you should try.  And even if you disrespect someone, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

Now, I know I’m going to have a lot of people disagree with me, especially in the current political climate.  But they will have to prove to me that all of the disrespect floating around right now has improved the situation.  Nobody is willing to dialogue with someone who is rudely disrespectful.  The door is closed.  However, if I can be kind and respectfully air my grievances, someone else MAY be willing to listen.  There is subtlety in this that needs to be taught.  There’s a reason there are old sayings like “you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”.  The vinegar may attract them, but the honey catches and keeps them.

So to allow children to get away with this is really a disservice.  As they get older, they may THINK they can get away with this, but the truth is it will eventually lose them jobs and relationships.  There is a level of mistrust that develops when I don’t feel I’m respected and that type of behavior/attitude tends to breed strife.  No employer in the world wants to have an employee that openly disrespects him/her.  And if the employer is not worth respecting, find another job.

It all boils down to basic kindness.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  These may all seem like “old” sayings, but they’ve been around for a while for a reason.  Encourage the children you know to follow these old sayings, bring it to their attention when they’re being disrespectful, explain why it’s not okay and give them appropriate consequences to help them learn.  I’m not sure I have a lot of hope for the adults in the world right now where this issue is concerned, but I have hope for the next generation IF we teach them how important it is to respect others.

 

 

An interesting question was posted to me this week.  Not a new question certainly, but one I’ve been pondering anew for the last several days.  Failure is an interesting concept.  Failure is universal.  EVERYONE has failed at something at some time or another, I dare say,  numerous times.  Even those who don’t think they’ve failed have. Usually when one does something many times, they either become a pro or they begin to lose their fear, but with failure, it’s exactly the opposite.  The more we fail, the less we want to and the more we fear it.

In school, failure is signified by a big red “F“.  While it is only a letter written or printed on paper, the very idea of it is cause for disappointment, embarrassment or more.  Receiving one can result in, at the very least, a lesser grade point average, at the most, punishment from parents, and judgement from teachers.  I remember that the only “F” I ever received on a report card came my senior year of high school in a brand new class called “computer science”.  Those who know me may now understand why I tend to shy away from technology.

This flies in the face of what we’re telling our kids of course.  Making mistakes means you’re trying.  Everyone makes mistakes.  But when we make a judgement based on those mistakes, rate or rank someone,  we immediately negate these supposed encouraging statements.  Sure, it’s okay to make mistakes, but if you make too many, you have a lesser grade, or you’re kicked off a team or you’re fired from a job.  We tell people we learn from mistakes, but at some point we decide that there have been too many mistakes and action must be taken.  I wonder what that magic number is?

So, what if we knew we couldn’t fail?  Would there be an impetus for us to try harder? For us to change direction?  For us to try something new?  While failure can defeat some people, for others it becomes a challenge.  Okay, this didn’t work, but what if I did this instead?  Failure opens up an opportunity for more creativity because you have to come up with another way to succeed.  So, maybe the key is teaching people how to stay encouraged when they’re feeling discouraged after making yet another mistake.

The other thing to be considered is how long and how well you have pursued whatever it is you’re trying to succeed at.  Malcolm Gladwell said in his book “Outliers” that the magic number was 10,000 hours to master something.  I would suspect there would be a  few mistakes even after you’ve gained mastery.  However now, that’s been slightly debunked.  Now, it seems it takes 10 years of deliberate practice specifically aimed at whatever we’re working on.  Now, take this research and apply it to learning in school today.  When you only spend a couple of days teaching a 1st or 2nd grader how to tell time, there will be no mastery to test.  The more we practice, the better we will get, no matter how much time it is, but mastery comes at a cost and with much failure during that 10 year period.

How many people have the patience today to spend that kind of time mastering something?  I don’t mean just performing a job, but really mastering an art or skill? The way we teach today, everything comes fast and furious; we have to get through the concept so we can get to the next. There’s very little opportunity for an individual student to progress as their own pace.  So I wonder how many kids lose that opportunity for mastery because there cannot be that individual deliberate practice?  If the kid can keep up, great for them.  If not, all we do is say they’re below grade level.

So, the answer to the question is, I have to anticipate failure because it’s part of gaining mastery.  If I decide to learn or do something new, that has to be part of the consideration.  So, it becomes a question of whether it is worth the risk of failure.  Do I have a plan when failure occurs? Am I willing to continue the quest towards mastery despite judgement from others?  And does my striving towards mastery of something new inspire others to do the same?

This morning I had the privilege of listening to a 93 year old teacher who shared with us, that after a lifetime of working in music education, she was looking at new research in how music affects those with dementia.  She was looking forward to what she could learn about this and how she could begin to make a difference in people’s lives through music.  This is a person who has never had to consider what she would do if she knew she couldn’t fail.  She isn’t afraid of failure because she knows life is all about continuing to learn.  And I’m thinking if that doesn’t inspire me to try something new, nothing will.

 

She wandered quietly into my room, so quietly that I didn’t look up from my work until she was almost standing beside my desk.  I looked into a little face with tears dripping off her nose and chin and it took a minute to realize who she was.  I could tell immediately that something was very wrong, as she hiccuped through words I couldn’t understand.

This is a child who usually comes bounding into my room right after she gets off the bus on her way to her homeroom.  She tells me something exciting , gives me a hug, tells me to have a good day.  She can be a bit of a drama queen and does demand a bit of attention, but she has a good heart and is usually a pretty positive kid.  But not this morning.  When I finally got her calm enough to talk to me, she said, “my mother said she doesn’t love me anymore”.  My heart sank.  We continued the conversation where she filled me in on a few more details, but she finished again with “and my mother said she doesn’t love me” and tears began to roll down her face again.  I gave her a big hug, told her I loved her and that I would walk her to class.  I talked briefly to her teacher and walked back to my room where I sat heavily in my chair and tried hard not to cry.  My heart just hurt for this beautiful child who just wants attention from an adult.

It is not my intent to portray so many of my interactions with students as negative although lately it feels that way.  The more I teach, the more I see and experience in terms of what children are dealing with and being exposed to and it just weighs heavily on my heart.  Something as simple as a conversation I had later this morning with a 7 year old who asked if I had seen the movie “IT” yet.  I said I hadn’t and he proceeded to describe the opening scene in graphic detail, down to Georgy getting his leg chopped off and being pulled into the sewer by the clown.  Seriously, is this something for a young child to watch?  And he talked about it as though it was no big deal. What happened to protecting kids from violence?

When I check out the headlines anymore, the ones that jump out at me are the ones where parents do horrible things to their children.

“Mom and dad charged in death of 4 month infant found rotting in swing”

“Father leaves his five year old stranded in the woods”

And these were just today.  Tomorrow there will be new headlines.  Is the news promoting these kinds of headlines because they sell or does this kind of thing really happen all the time?  And has it been happening all along and we just weren’t paying attention?

And the unkindness continues.  Today in one of my classes, I overheard one little boy call another “the class idiot”.  The child just sat there; he didn’t stand up for himself, didn’t tell him to stop.  Just sat there.  Is he used to being talked to that way?  Does he believe he is the class idiot?  We had a little talk as a class to state that nobody in any of my classes is an idiot and to say so was very unkind.  The usual sensitive kids nodded their heads and looked sorry, but the usual suspects looked at me with that “yeah, whatever look”.  I see more and more of that.

I feel this great urge or need to do something about this trend that I’m seeing more and more of, this total lack of caring for another human being.  On days like today where it felt like I was dealing with disrespect and unkindness like playing whack-a-mole, I leave the building feeling overwhelmed.  I makes it hard to stay motivated to continue teaching.

But then I think of this little girl this morning.  Would she have had another adult she trusted enough to share her experience with if I hadn’t been there?  Would she have sucked it up like so many kids do and just acted out later?  Maybe I’m there for kids like her because I understand kids like her.  And somebody needs to be there for kids like her.  And so I go in each morning, dealing with the ever changing face of elementary school hoping that the little bit I do can help improve a life.  I have to admit that it feels more and more like a losing battle, but I’m surrounded by other educators who have the same heart for kids.  Maybe together, we can make a change and lighten each others’ hearts.

 

Pajama day.  A day created by teachers to try to make school more “fun” or to reward students for a particular behavior or achievement.  A day that turns into a complete waste of time because the students are so distracted that there is not a lot of learning happening.  We’ll return to this later.

So, today was pajama day.  As the kindergarten entered class this afternoon, it was hard to resist the awww factor.  As they all gathered in the center circle with their onesies, superheros, princesses, and unicorns, it was just a picture of sweetness.  And then the song began.  Somewhere in the center of this circle of cuteness someone was singing – “If you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain….”.  This was met with laughter, so this kid kept singing this one phrase over and over, each time with more exaggerated performance movements.  His teacher and I just looked at each other.  I mean, what are you going to say, right?

But back to pajama day.  It’s part of “spirit week” where we address Red Ribbon Week or “just say no to drugs”.  The other days are things that are not nearly as distracting, although “hat day” is pretty close.  But with that, if they mess with the hat, we can always take away the distraction.  With pajamas, not so much.  They show up in pj’s, fuzzy slippers, and robes and they are ready to veg out.  Well, except for the little girl who showed up in pj’s and cowgirl boots, but that was obviously a personal fashion choice.  Why is it as teachers we feel like we have to do things that have nothing to do with education to have fun?  Isn’t it possible to have fun AND educate at the same time?  Well, not if everything is scripted for you, I supposed.

I know we all have curricula we have to follow, essential learning objectives, etc., but what happened to the days when we did fun things to learn?  I remember doing art projects that supported social studies when I was in elementary school.  I still remember making leis in school when studying Hawaii and acting out Christopher Columbus negotiating with the King and Queen of Spain.  Not very PC now, but I’m old. I remember actually becoming part of the first congress in middle school, complete with identities where we had to make decisions and write bills.  I couldn’t wait to get to that class.  It was like playing a game, but I learned so much.

I still had homework, weekly spelling tests and unit tests, but there were projects and activities within the curriculum that were fun.  Because the powers that be have decided that teachers need to be made accountable and that accountability comes in the form of students succeeding on tests, sometimes real learning doesn’t happen anymore.  And so, we find some completely unrelated thing for the kids to do for “fun” that distracts from the thing we’re supposed to be accountable for.  Hmmmm….

But things have changed, I’m told.  In this age of technology, students are more savvy, they don’t need to do those things to learn.  I would disagree with you.  Kids like the technology, but unlike some of us oldsters, this is something they’ve always had.  It’s like having a tape recorder was to us or a record player.  It’s just something they know how to do and it’s not that big a deal for them.  I actually had a student tell me once that they didn’t like taking tests on a computer because they got bored.  They would much rather use a pencil and color in a bubble.  As teachers, haven’t we noticed that kids are always looking for things to draw on?  We hand them a personal white board to do their math and they start drawing.  They finish a test and they want to draw on the back.  They love markers and crayons.  That’s part of what they consider fun.  It’s the hands on part of learning.

Why do you think kids like “specials” so much?  I’m sure some teachers would say “because they’re fun and easy”.  They fail to mention that kids are engaged and LEARNING.  And it is not easy.  You try reading some iconic notation while simultaneously reading it’s note name while transferring it to a fingering on an instrument while you’re keeping track of your breathing, tonguing, speed, volume and how you play and blend with others.  Oh, and if it’s marching band, let’s add large motor skill movement on a large grid where you need to change pictures and remain equidistant to others moving beside you. Need I say more?

All of the other “specials” could point out the same types of multi-tasking, cognitive and kinesthetic learning going on and oh, demonstrate that the kids are having fun.  Those who negate the importance of enjoying what you’re learning forget one very important thing.  The kids will REMEMBER what they’ve done and learned because they’re having fun.

And having fun is good for teachers as well.  There is so much stress put upon teachers and administrators for testing results, even to point of threatening jobs.  You can’t bend a schedule that has been put in place because you’re mandated to spend so many minutes in each subject.  That’s really sad, because sometimes the best learning is spontaneous and unplanned.  It’s those big cross-curricular projects with people working together to solve a problem or create something new or demonstrate learning that kids love and remember.  I sometimes get lost in the whole “have to cover all the ELO’s” thing myself and forget that I can stop once in a while to try something the kids have thought up or expand a lesson or explore something within the subject they’re interested in.

So while pajama day is an interesting diversion, it does exactly the opposite of what just including some fun in the curriculum could accomplish. Maybe we can slow down once in a while just to listen to the kids sing “If You Like Pina Coladas….”  Just for fun.

 

 

 

“What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

So, apparently there was some discussion when it came to giving me a name.  My parents were going to name me Jennifer Lynne, although at some point my mother wanted to name me Babette.  Her name was Barbara, so she thought “little Barbara” or Babette would be cute.  I can just see it now.  Babs Frohlich.  Wow, if that wouldn’t have gotten me made fun of, nothing would have. Or my married name; Babs Bush.  So many thoughts, so little time. The thing is, I am nothing like my mom, so being “little Barbara” would have been a misnomer.  In the end, music actually won.  My dad heard a song on the radio about a little girl named Judy, and the decision was made.  And so Judy it is.

The job of giving another human being a name is an important one.  It’s something we have for the rest of our lives.  And I don’t know about you, but when we named our boys, our minds changed depending on how old we were and how our tastes had changed.  We decided we wanted all of our kids to have Biblical first names, hence Aaron, David and Jacob.  We had Rebecca and Rachel chosen for the girls we didn’t get.  Anyway, the middle names were tricky.  Aaron’s middle name is Douglas for his dad, David’s is Kendall, just because we thought David K. Bush sounded great with a Dr. in front of it.  And Jacob Tyler just worked.  It had to have a certain rhythm to it. Although J.T Bush sounds more like a used car salesman.  But with the names, we attached hopes as to who these children would become.  Not the used car salesman, however.  Oh, and as a side note, we didn’t plan this, but we were able to teach all of them to spell their names by singing the Bingo song.  Obviously that makes the number of letters in a name important, right?

We choose names based on what we like, maybe after a family member, maybe something that’s unique or popular.  As a teacher, it’s always a little frustrating to have several kids with the same name only spelled three or four different ways.  It’s like parents are trying to send teachers over the edge.  All in the name (no pun intended) of their child being unique.  All of us want our child to be special, but what if the name is so unique that it’s never spelled right?  Or the child can never find a keychain or bike license plate with their name spelled correctly on it?  This can be a total bummer.  Or, if you become so old that your name goes completely out of vogue and you can’t find anything with your name on it anymore.  Like Judy. But I digress….

In my father’s family, the popular name is George.  A nice solid name.  Except just about EVERY male in my family has George as either a first or middle name.  It makes it really hard when you’re trying to figure out the family history.  In my husband’s family, his dad and for many generations before him were all William.  He goes by Pete, by the way.  Another story for another time.

And what happens when you outgrow your name?  I mean, Tiffany is cute if you’re a kid, but it’s hard to imagine an 80 year old Tiffany.  Right now, in certain circles I am being referred to as Judith.  I’ve never been crazy about it, but it sounds a little more distinguished than Judy perhaps.  Someone who could be taken more seriously?  Maybe.  There’s only one person in my entire life who has called me Jude.  And truthfully I kinda like it.  I even have my own song!

What would you rename yourself if you could?  What would it say about you?  Would you remain a Kenny or a Jimmy or change to Ken and Jim as you grew older?  You could name yourself based on the profession you chose.  Celebrities do it, why can’t we?  When I was a kid and my brother and I would play office or store (we were nerds), my made up name was Debbie Walker.  I have no idea why, but it was.  I also only answered to Maid Marion when I was about five, but pretty sure it was in response to my brother being born.  Again, I was a unique child with a not so unique name.  What can I say.

So, I’m pretty sure the point of all this rambling is, no matter what my parents decided to name me, I am who I am.  You can label me Judy or Judith or Jude and I am still who I was meant to be at this time in my life.  And besides, I have met another Judy Bush who turned out to be someone pretty special in my life – my mother in-law!  Don’t you know THAT gets confusing at family gatherings.  And when I see her and think of her name, I see kindness, beauty and wisdom.  So having that name myself may not be such a bad thing after all.

 

 

Dream interpretation is something I find interesting.  I understand that dreams are sometimes the reflection of things that have happened during the day or can be your subconscious releasing things you may be feeling or concerned about.  And for me, if the dream is recurring, I’m always curious as to why.  I tend to do this a lot, and right now the recurring dream is going back to my old job.

Whenever you dream of something from the past there is a sense that you need to let go or learn from the past and be able to move on.

When you dream about an old job then there are things on your mind which you are holding on to or unwilling to change – and this is not always for the best.

In this case, every time I go back in the dream, the room is smaller, darker and in shambles and I have to fix it.  I certainly don’t mean to say anything against the person currently in my old position who is doing a fabulous job!  But it leads me to ask what is in my subconscious that keeps bringing this up.

When I changed positions last year, it was my choice.  I LOVED the people I was working with and the kids were great.  But I was in a rut.  A very deep rut, and I knew that I needed a change.  So, I changed what I thought I could and that was buildings.  New building, new kids, new community, new colleagues, new way of teaching curriculum.  Same job.  Yes, there are obvious changes I had to make to accommodate all of the newness, but fundamentally, I am still the same teacher.  Was the change too safe?  Was it too easy?  I didn’t think so at the time, but maybe?

So, if I actually take stock in any of this dream interpretation stuff, what is it I’m supposed to be learning and is there something I’m unwilling to let go of?  I know I care about kids deeply, but is teaching the way I’m supposed to help them?  If I were in more of a leadership position, could I have more impact?  After observing my principals over the years, I KNOW this is not for me, but how else could I be a power for good in the lives of kids?

I shared with my teammates the other day that I’m finding myself excited to get home after school so that I can write.  I think about it all day.  I look for things that happen so that I can share them in my writing.  I haven’t been this excited about anything since – well, since I first began teaching.  But becoming a writer full time would be a scary thing, wouldn’t it?  I have a secure income right now and anticipate retirement in the near future.  But there is also a degree program at the University that I’ve researched and I would love to do that as well.  So to do those things now, financially and time wise, I would be stretched beyond what I could really do well.  And how practical is it really?  You see where I’m going with this?  Pretty sure I’ve just talked myself out of it.

Is my longing for real change and my fear of making that change manifesting itself through my dreams?  So many of us struggle with the practical side of the argument.  Sure it would be GREAT if I could do this and that, but it’s not practical so I won’t.  Anything I’ve read about great innovators talks about how this is not even a consideration.  But what about other people in my life who are depending on me?  I keep referring back to the flight attendant telling you to put your mask on before you try to help anyone else.  If this is a good analogy, then I certainly can’t help anyone if I haven’t taken care of myself first, can I?

Overthinking it is killing the dream change as well.  Well, I need to do this, then this has to happen and then maybe….  What would happen if we just jumped in and did stuff?  I’m not talking about doing something dangerous, but what if we just tried?  I heard something the other day that if you don’t react to a thought within a certain few seconds, you will never do it.  So maybe overthinking this is what’s keeping me from achieving my dreams?

And there is always the thought that I might disappoint someone with my choices.  After all, I am a people pleaser.  There are those people I see who have left teaching and my first thought is “but they were such a great teacher!”, never considering that teaching may not have been their real dream.  There are people whom I admire who have complimented my teaching.  Would I disappoint them if I chose something else to do?  Would it have been a waste of my time, money and energy getting the education degree in the first place?  Pretty sure I’m overthinking this thing again.

Maybe teaching was the necessary fodder for me to get to this point.  After all, I certainly can’t write effectively about and for the teaching experience and working with kids without personal experience, right?  But maybe I need to start following the dreams, both literally and figuratively to see if that’s the next step in my life.  And maybe then this recurring rut of a dream will go away.