“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

I was all of 20 years old when I married my husband.  Just slightly older than he was – by a month.  We were so young, he was finishing college and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life.  He was focused and I was living in fantasy land, looking forward to being a wife to this great guy and SO in love.  Reality set in when we moved into roach infested married housing on campus, my scalloped potatoes were crunchy and the only place to go in our efficiency when you had an argument was the bathroom.  But we survived through graduation, and because he was the focused one, we relocated when he got his first job and the adventure began.

Baby number one arrived 3 years later and at the tender age of 23 we were parents.  I’m not sure we were really adults yet, but despite his long hours and me still trying to figure out what I was doing, we managed to survive not only baby #1 but 4 years later, a premature baby #2.  I think that’s when I began to grow a little more.

By this time we had a house. We were so immature and really had no idea how to take care of one.  I painted constantly.  It was cheap and if I got tired of something, I just changed it.  And my husband dealt with it.  We wallpapered the bathroom together.  I’ve been told if a couple can do that they can survive anything.  I was constantly changing jobs, but always found a way to stay in music.  So after 8 years of searching, I finally decided to go back to school, now married with two children. And the growing increased as Doug took over taking the kids to daycare while I took the bus to school. We moved for both of us this time, Doug for a new job, me for a degree.  And there were tense moments, financial worries, sick kids, and a surprise premature baby #3.

I had the choice to leave school again, but maybe I had grown up some.  I sucked it up, once taking the baby to class with me when I didn’t have a sitter.  But things would be better once I graduated and got a job, right?  No such luck.  I spent the next two years substitute teaching.  So with 11 years of marriage, 3 boys and a college degree, there was some growth for me.  And with 10 years of teaching, my husband was coming into his own career wise.  But were we one flesh yet?

It’s hard to do more than maintain when you are at this stage of life, trying to make a living, trying to raise children.  And it’s difficult when both parents are heavily invested in their careers, especially music.  Sometimes we struggled with who needed to take off to take care of sick children because we were so committed to our jobs, so we agreed to take turns.  It sounds selfish now when I write about it, but again, I think it was a growth/maturity thing. And I think I went through a time where I felt like my career wasn’t taken as seriously as his, so it made me fight for mine even more.

In an attempt to spend time together and with the boys, we took them everywhere with us, teaching them how to work backstage, set up and tear down, moving equipment.  Going to concerts and plays and football games, sometimes with a child in a stroller on the sideline at halftime.  Somehow we made it work, but certainly not one flesh.

This one flesh thing is difficult.  You have two distinct individuals with different dreams and gifts and somehow they are supposed to make life together.  And God made us that way.  And yet, we are told to become one flesh.  In order for that to happen, we both must be very aware of each others’ dreams and gifts and support those. Part of our survival as a married couple is that we’ve survived some pretty hard things together.  But there are still regular ebbs and flows in our relationship as each of us grows at different rates and  goes through life changes.  And that’s where communication comes in.  We finally learned how to talk about what we were thinking and feeling instead of trying to read minds!  Amazing how much this helps a relationship.

So now the growing continues.  We’re empty nesters with one exception and that one exception may be with us for a while.  More growing.  Doug is more in demand than ever in terms of writing along with his regular job and we’re getting used to that, making sure we make time to go on dates and checking the calendar.  And now, my travel schedule is ramping up, making it even more difficult to be together.  So how do we make it work after 37 years?

I think it’s the lifetime goal of trying to become one flesh.  It’s where we get to know how the other one is feeling without asking.  It’s anticipating their needs before yours.  It’s giving up or sacrificing something you want for them because you know they would do the same for you.  Because if you’re one flesh, what you do for each other you do for yourself, right?  At least that’s what I’m thinking.  And while we’re not there yet, we’re working on it and I see glimpses of that one flesh more often.  So, maybe growing separately is necessary to become one flesh.  If that’s the case, then we’re on our way.

“The pig is naked!” several children said, pointing at the book and rocking with laughter.  We were reading the book “Piggies” to go along with our latest song and instrument.  So you try to be logical with the kids, right?  “Come on guys. Have you ever seen a real pig wearing clothes?”.  But the problem is, the illustrator must have liked Disney animators because while the pigs in the book may have had on some clothing, their bottoms remained bare, a la Donald Duck.  Hence, the “naked” pigs.  Now, this didn’t happen with all of my kindergarten classes, just two of the five.  The other classes either laughed because they liked the story or just listened quietly and smiled, but not this bunch.  It was difficult to distract them from the “naked” pigs to finish the activity.

When you’ve been teaching a while, especially as an elementary “specialist” as we’re referred to, you begin to see each class as having its own personality.  Some classes are quiet and shy, some are mischievous, some are enthusiastic, some are stubborn.  And because of these different personalities, it’s impossible to expect them to participate in or react to the lessons I prepare in the same way.  My style of teaching needs to change, the way I present the material changes.  I’m thankful that in my subject area, while I do have essential learning outcomes to cover, I can spend more time on things if my kids need it or adjust my plans.  In my mind, that’s making sure my kids get what they need.

Which is why I am confused about how some elementary schools operate in terms of curriculum and teaching methods.  In the name of equality, the curriculum is scripted, making sure that each child gets exactly the same instruction at the same time, and is assessed at the same time in the same way. But the truth is, just a classes have different “personalities” and need different things, so do individual children.  They arrive at the table with different backgrounds and experiences, different maturity levels and cognitive abilities.  And yet again, in education, we want to make sure every child has exactly the same type of instruction, despite those individual differences and needs. It’s not the least bit logical.

If a child is “labeled”, through testing or diagnosis, they are provided services that will allow some flexibility, but what if a child is just slow in terms of maturation?  What if they’re just not interested in the subject matter?  What if they didn’t have breakfast that morning?  What if they didn’t get enough sleep?  It just makes no sense to assume we can teach every child the same way.  We can’t even teach the same child the same way on different days.

And so, those same kindergartners, both the mature and immature will be pushed at the same rate to learn what some educators believe they should be learning at a certain age and grade level.  And about the 3rd quarter, these same kindergartners will come into my room stressed out, crying at the drop of a hat, and short tempered.  They will complain about being tired and will tell me they want to go home.  And unlike the beginning of school, where now the kids are telling me they love school, they will begin to say they don’t want to go to school.  It doesn’t take long to change how a child feels about school when you don’t allow them the freedom to explore and create.

Which is why I believe music is so very important for kids.  Yes, it’s part of a well rounded education, but it is also a refuge for kids who need to slow down a little bit and explore and create.  It’s an opportunity to do something that has no “right” or “wrong” but just “is”.  We can improvise and change and tweak to our heart’s content.  I think this is why kids tend to remember their specials classes more than others.  These are the places where they get away from the prescribed equality for a little while to become individuals again.

So, keeping differences in mind, I will continue to share “Piggies” with both my mature and immature kids, taking the opportunity to teach whatever lesson is needed in the process.  And I’ll also be prepared to laugh with them at the naked pigs again.

 

This past week and the next two are some of my favorite of the year.  It’s when the sophomore lab class comes to visit from the university.  This year I only have eleven of them mixed in with my 3rd graders, some of them having never been in front of a class of kids before.  Some of them convinced that they want to teach high school but some of whom will change their minds after these three weeks.  I talked to my 3rd graders about them, letting them know that they would be helping to teach these older students in order to help them get ready to become future music teachers and they embraced the challenge.

The first three days have been all about observation and participation.  After all, it’s been about a decade since these “big” kids have been the age of my 3rd graders.  So, when it has been time to teach each other a new skill, my kids readily invited the practicum students into the activity, patiently “teaching” them how to hold the instruments and read the rhythm patterns.  Nervousness on the part of the college students turned to smiles and delight as they all sat on the floor together making music.  There were few questions afterwards as they’ve not even had enough experience to know what to ask yet, but they enjoyed making music together.

On the parking lot afterwards, my kids shared their thoughts about the college students.  “I loved working with Mr. M”.  “I like having UNL students and I like music”.  “Thank you.  I like my new friends I just made today.  It will never end”.  And isn’t that the truth? Making music with others is something that can last a lifetime and age is not an issue.  Old and young alike can find joy in working together to make music.

I watched the small groups working together today writing rhythm patterns to share, a mix of ages and saw the university students begin to take on some leadership as they now assisted the kids in their writing and counting.  I watched my kids’ faces as the university students sang a round with them.  One of my boys just stopped singing and looked in wonder, mouth open, eyes bright, as he listened to the older students sing with such a wonderful sound.  Maybe inspiring him to one day choose music education as his passion.  Or maybe just taking the opportunity to sing with a church or community choir.

There are very few disciplines I can think of where everyone can be on equal ground like music.  It wasn’t a big deal for one of my kids to ask the university professor to sit on the floor with them and teach him how to play the rhythm on the woodblock.  And it didn’t matter to the professor that he was sitting on the floor with a 9 year old.  They smiled and made music together.  Teaching collaboration as very few things do anymore.

Next week the university students get to wade in the water of teaching, having 10 minutes to teach a small activity, skill or concept.  Then it is my job to help and encourage them when they feel things didn’t go as planned or cheer them on when their idea works.  It’s an opportunity to let them know that we all learn from making mistakes and that in my room, making mistakes means that we’re trying and that we’re given opportunities to try again.  And in turn, I hope that one day they will take that message to their students, encouraging them to step out of their comfort zone and try something new and perhaps they’ll make some music together.  It’s the idea of acceptance, that everyone has musical ideas they want to try and share and the expectation that we will listen and respect that creativity.  Perhaps we can all learn a lesson from this group of kids, young and old, who have found a way to work together and make beautiful music.

Yes. My favorite time of year.

After school today, after my last class and my after school duty, I finally had time to use the restroom.  While this isn’t something I would normally share, what happened as I was TRYING to get to the bathroom is worth sharing.  Rather than use the faculty restroom, I chose to use the restroom across from my room which is a multi-stall bathroom, the ones the kids use during the day.  As I start to go in, a girl in the hallway says “hi Mrs. Bush!”.  I look at her, say hi and proceed into the bathroom, where I hear her say to someone else, “Look!  I found Mrs. Bush”.  They both proceed to follow me into the bathroom, talking to me as I go into the stall, still waving at me.  They’ve already begun the social bathroom conversation that women seem to have and it didn’t seem unusual at all for them to follow a teacher into the bathroom.

On the other side of the coin, this morning I get word that a couple of boys have set up a game of badminton in the bathroom, using a wadded up paper towel as a shuttlecock and the stall wall as the net.  So, I do the usual “Do I need to come in there”, which I really can’t do, and they both come out, throwing the paper towel away with sheepish grins on their faces.

While I realize that genders aren’t as simple as boys and girls anymore, the vast majority of my kids are what I would consider the typical elementary boy and girl.  And it’s always interesting to observe the behaviors of one versus the other.  Yesterday during 1st grade was a perfect example.

The kids found out that my birthday was this past weekend and asked how old I was.  My usual response is to add 100 years to my actual age, so 158.  Then one of my girls, trying to figure out if I’m telling the truth or not, asks how old my mom is and I shared that my mother had passed away.  She and a small bunch of girls around her respond with great kindness and sympathy.  Across the circle one of boys asks “Did she die like this?” and proceeds to do a belly flop on the floor.  The whole room erupts in laughter, including me.  It’s not that I don’t have girls with a wicked sense of humor, or that boys can’t be sympathetic, but this seems to be the typical kind of response I get.

You can just watch kids as they go down the hallway with the little girls skipping and the boys seeing if they can jump high enough to touch the top of the door.  You can see it when I pass out boomwhackers in class and the girls may begin to play them and the boys will begin turning them into all kinds of things like light sabers, telescopes, bazookas and baseball bats.

I always wonder if this is nature or nurture or perhaps a combination of both.  Today was picture day and so many of the girls were in their prettiest little dresses while the boys were all in button down plaid shirts or polos with khakis.  There is an obvious expectation from parents as to how they believe their children should look for posterity and it is pretty stereotypical.  If that is also encouraged in terms of behavioral expectations, then obviously it’s more nurture.  And is this helping or hurting our kids?  Or does it really matter? What would their true personalities be if we just left them alone or let them choose?

As hard as I try not to, these stereotypical behaviors set up an expectation in terms of my teaching.  I spend my time trying to anticipate any type of interesting behavior my boys can think of and look to my girls to bring some calm to the situation.  The most I can expect from the girls is that they will talk too much.  With my boys it’s anticipating them leaping off of the risers, wrestling on the carpet or running into each other on purpose during a movement activity.

I love and appreciate their creativity and their energy.  I love the sweetness and social activities of the girls.  I appreciate being attacked with hugs from all of them, the high fives from the boys when they see how hard they can slap my hand and all of the stories they want to tell me. Each of them has their own gifts that they bring to the classroom and that in turn is what makes each day a bit of an adventure.

 

 

I have a colleague who had a certain item on their bucket list.  Something that they believed would make their career complete, something that would look good on the resume. Unfortunately with that bucket list item came some responsibilities that I’m not sure they were prepared for.  And instead of pulling up the big boy pants and getting their hands busy, they settled for the bucket list job in name only.  The only problem is that when they made the goal part of their bucket list, they didn’t think about how their  inaction would hurt others in the process.

I’m afraid my bucket list has been more reactive than proactive, just because I believe I don’t dream big enough most of the time.  I have had some mountaintop experiences that I would consider things to mark off the list, but a lot of times they were things I did not imagine or anticipate.

For instance, my experience the last several years learning at the Metropolitan Opera.  I did not pursue this opportunity and was fortunate enough that a friend recommended me to participate.  Through this bucket list experience, I have now danced at Julliard, composed simple music arranged by a Julliard professor and sung by an opera singer.  I have seen several operas at the Met and shows on Broadway.  But there is an attachment to the bucket list item.  I must share what I’ve learned with others.  And I think that’s the lesson we need to learn from everything on the bucket list.

And this particular bucket list item has given me gifts I did not anticipate.  I met and got to know a wonderful colleague and had the opportunity to work with her and her students, which in turn helped my students as well.  I had the opportunity to meet like minded people from all over the country.  I began to be more independent, being okay to be alone and take care of myself.  I rediscovered myself as a musician and not just a music educator.  My eyes were opened to different experiences and points of view and boy, have I learned!  Every bucket list item should be something that makes you think and learn.

Another bucket list item for me is to begin speaking to groups, hoping to inspire them and excite them about teaching and advocating for music.  And lo and behold, that bucket list item is beginning to happen.  Not that I’m the world’s greatest speaker, and I know I have a lot to learn, but to whom much is given, much is expected.  So it’s my turn to do what others have done for me, and it provides an immense sense of satisfaction and I get to meet the most wonderful people.  And while I suppose it will look good on the resume, I also know it will be work. But a very satisfying kind of work.

Dreaming big has always been hard for me, but with each item checked off the bucket list, I dare to dream a little bigger.  I was blessed to serve as president of a wonderful state organization, encouraged and mentored by others.  I loved the work so much and enjoyed the people I worked with, so my next dream was to serve on a national board.  I ran twice for the position before I was chosen to lead.  Again, I believed I could do it, and others encouraged me, so I pursued it.  Now the work begins and with it, an opportunity  to share what I learn with with others.

This past Sunday I turned 58 years. old.  I remember when my mother was 58 I thought she was old.  And for awhile I believed that I was getting too old to dream anymore.  Too old to pursue other areas of interest, getting close to retirement.  But the truth is, my dreams are expanding and getting me excited for the next adventures to come, and   encouraging me to expand the bucket list for whatever time there is left.

I hope this inspires others to think about their bucket list.  What is it you really want to do and what is keeping you from doing it?  Will doing it make you a better person, both for you and your family and friends?  Will it be something you can share with others and enlighten their lives as well?  Is it something you’re willing to work for?  For me I know that the results have been totally worth any work and struggle to attain the items on my bucket list.  Now the job for me is to dream just a little bit bigger.

 

 

Everyone wants to matter to someone.  Everyone wants to be seen and heard.  Everyone wants to be loved.  Basic human needs.  And yet, more and more I see businesses, organizations and well, just people getting further and further away from the thing that feeds those needs and that’s relationships.

“You are the best music teacher ever!!  I feel very welcomed!!”.  I received this today from one of my new students who just moved in this year and it made me smile.  Not because she thinks I’m the best music teacher (which is highly questionable) but the fact that because we’re developing a relationship, she feels welcomed.  Are there other teachers who make her feel that way?  I’m sure, but how nice to know that you’re making a difference in how a child feels?

This past weekend, I met with a roomful of wonderful music educators, all working towards the goal of bringing music to ALL students.  A lofty goal for sure, but the truth is, it boils down to one basic truth:  relationships.  We need to really get to know and appreciate kids for who they are. You may have the best marching band in the world or the most competitive show choir or the finest orchestra, but if a child doesn’t feel like they matter or are seen and heard for who they are, that child will not want to be a part of your musical world.  I’m not saying that we can’t also strive for high standards and excellence in what we do, but if it’s at the expense of making a child feel welcomed, then it’s all for naught.

I’ve seen and dealt with children who have relationship deficits.  Perhaps they are in foster care or they have parents incapable of meeting their needs.  Children need to be nurtured into relationships where they feel loved and can trust the other person.  A child who grows up without that trust in a relationship can be damaged for life.  Especially if that relationship is an important one like a parent or other family member.  That’s where I believe teachers, and from a biased point of view, music teachers, can make a huge difference in a child’s life, especially since we tend to be in a child’s life for an extended period of time.

I’ve shared that my time at home was sometimes difficult.  Fortunately for me I had a music teacher in high school who told us the first day that when we were together, and especially when we were away at places like camp that he was “dad”.  And sure enough, we trusted him to tell us truth, whether it was something we wanted to hear or not.  He demanded that we strive for excellence but also let us know on an individual basis that we mattered to him.  I was fortunate enough to be his student for three years. To this day, some 40 years later, I still get a Happy Birthday on Facebook from him as do dozens of other former students.  He makes us feel as though we still matter.

In this world of technology where it’s easy to isolate with just you and a screen, it’s more important than ever to remember that face to face relationships are still the best way to communicate with, appreciate and get to know each other.  It’s important for us to remind our students that quality time with other people is healthy and not just through google chat.  Technology can be a good enhancement to relationships, but it’s still that face to face meeting and interacting that is important.

So the example I have of my high school music teacher is a good one and one I try to remember it every day.  Sure there are those days when I don’t feel like spending time one on one with kids, but on those days when I get notes like this, I know it’s all worth it.  Pursue your students, get to know them and build relationships that makes a difference in the lives of kids.

“I teach myself the piano.  You helped me a lot”.

“Thanks for teaching”.

 

Karma.  Is Karma real?  I was once told very vehemently that Karma was not real, and was not something Christians believe in.  So, what is Karma supposed to be exactly?

I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but as part of Hindu philosophy, in very simple terms, it is considered the law of cause and effect.  It is the sum of a person’s actions in one of his successive states of existence, viewed as deciding his fate for the next.  Well okay, I could certainly see where that might go against some Christian beliefs.  But if Karma is considered the law of cause and effect, meaning that for every action is an equal and opposite reaction, how might this affect people based on their behavior?

For instance, on my flight home last night, I sat next to the 20 something year old woman who couldn’t have weighed more than 90 pounds and was maybe 5 feet tall.  So, compared to me she had a ton of room in her seat.  And she used every square inch of it.  She contorted into positions I haven’t been able to even think about for the last 30 years or so, stuffing her bare feet into the pockets of the seat in front of her, or putting them up in air near my head, slouching way down in her seat, bumping my arm multiple times.  She answered her phone while we were taxiing down the runway, without a care in the world.  I thought about doing the teacher thing and giving her “the look” but restrained myself and focused on my book.  Thank goodness it was a short flight.  As we were getting ready to land, and everything was supposed to be in an upright position, she actually pushed her seat back, slouching even further.  Not my job to reinforce the rules, right?  Unfortunately for her, the plane had quite the bumpy landing and she just about slid out from under her seatbelt onto the floor.  Karma?  Simple consequences? I don’t know, but I had difficulty hiding the smile.

I have witnessed people mistreating others, or treating them unjustly, wishing I could make things better, only to find out that Karma, the universe, or whoever, took care of things later. But it’s not only bad behavior that seems to cause some kind of reaction.  I witnessed a recipient of some unjust behavior behave in a very professional manner and step away.  Later, some great things happened for her.  The other person, not so much.

I suppose Karma could actually be a good thing in terms of teaching us, IF Karma could be viewed as consequences of either good or bad behavior, but it’s not as simple as that, is it?  In schools today, real, appropriate consequences have been completely watered down or taken away.  Years ago, when I taught in a parochial school, we had an 8th grade boy who thought it was funny to urinate intentionally on the floor.  Once caught, his consequence was to work with the custodian cleaning the bathroom floors for a length of time.  This was a consequence that truly matched the action, with perhaps a little bit of Karma to boot.  Now a child might be asked to sit in a safe seat.  When every consequence is the same for different behaviors, it’s just not the same effect I’m afraid.

We try to protect our kids from every consequence as well.  Parents running homework or instruments or lunch to school when a child forgets it, completely take away the natural consequence which one hopes will lead the child to learning more responsibility.  Allowing a child to go back in at recess to get their coat when they insisted they didn’t need one before will not teach them a lesson to learn from.  I’m not saying to not allow a child to have a coat in freezing weather, but when Mr. Tough Guy is freezing in a t-shirt in 50 degree weather because he didn’t want to wear a jacket, it’s not such a bad thing to have him deal with it for 15 minutes so that the behavior/decision changes next time.

We’ve all experienced it.  That time when you try to speed around someone to get to school faster, only to get stopped at the red light as that someone pulls up beside you.  Little reminders that doing something selfishly and not thinking of others is not okay.  However, some consequences can be life changing, affecting not only the person whose behavior is in question, but also those around them and those who follow them.  Children need to learn this and it needs to be brought to their attention.  Actions as a child and the consequences are usually pretty benign.  If we wait for them to grow up for them to experience real consequences, it could be life changing or even fatal.

So, Karma or just natural consequences?  Either way, we need to not only teach children but be examples to children as to how to respect universal laws; that for every action is an equal and opposite reaction.  Sometimes it feels like Karma or the universe or God bides its/His time as we watch those who seemingly get away with horrendous behavior.  But it’s not our place to judge.  As I tell my kids, the only person you can control is yourself and make sure you do right in the world. And that’s hard enough. Don’t stoop to that person’s level. The rest will take care of itself.

My usual traveling companion was not with me today, so as I walked down the aisle to find my seat on the plane, I nervously looked to see who I might be sitting with.  And there he was. The elderly gentleman seated next to me was quiet and other than the introductory “hello” as I sat down, never said another word to me during our flight.  As I stuffed the purse in the backpack and the backpack under the seat, a scent I hadn’t smelled in years wafted around me,  bringing back some interesting memories.  I would love to tell you it was a good scent, like maybe Old Spice or some Avon product, but it wasn’t.

I would guess the gentlemen to be in his mid to late 70’s.  Dressed nicely in khaki’s and a plaid button down shirt and dress shoes, you could tell at one time he probably traveled for business.  He pulled out the airline magazine and perused the pages while we were waiting on the tarmac, his hands shaking slightly.  Afterwards he pulled a Time magazine out of his bag and began reading.  At one point he looked to his right and I could see through the lenses of his thick glasses, magnifying everything.  He was balding like my dad had – right on the crown of his head but his hair but a beautiful silvery white, not the salt and pepper of my dad.

He turned down all offers of drinks but didn’t hesitate to take the cookies that were offered.  They disappeared quickly while he was reading.  All the while, I’m trying to read the same book I’ve been reading for several months now.  The one I take on every trip hoping that THIS will be the trip I finish it.  We’ll see.  By this time however, as much as I’ve tried to ignore it, as much as I’ve turned up the air above my head, the scent lingers.

I tend to question myself first.  Is it me?  Do I smell like that?  No, I don’t recall the smell before I sat down.  And it’s the familiarity of that scent that gets me.  My dad was the same kind of man, former military, he always dressed his best.  At least until he got older, when he started wearing jeans that my mom would press and crease.  I’m not kidding.  He used Aqua Velva shaving lotion and washed his hair with bar soap.  But the one thing he never did was use deodorant.  He said it clogged the pores and wasn’t healthy for you.  So, on those occasions where it got a little warm outside or we were cooped up in a warm car, that scent of dad sweat would permeate the area.  And that is what I was smelling today.

Maybe it’s an old man thing.  I mean, like a REALLY old man thing.  Only because I consider myself to be older but not REALLY old.  It makes you wonder when using deodorant became a thing and maybe these old guys just weren’t used to it or willing to change.  Maybe they thought bar soap and Aqua Velva was enough.  It’s not, but I don’t know.  Maybe woman thought the scent was manly and attractive.  Nah.

So as I’m observing this gentleman, I’m taken back to my childhood with my dad. And while it might not have been the most pleasant smelling of memories, it did put a smile on my face today.  So, while I missed my traveling companion, I had the opportunity to be transported back in time by the good old smell of dad sweat. : )

Today I learned a valuable lesson.  Kindergarten comes to me shortly after lunch in the afternoon.  As we were going through our activities, we began a song with some specific movements; one knee down, the other knee down, one elbow on the floor, the other elbow on the floor.  During the pause that followed, another melody began, followed by a chorus of “excuse me’s”.  I thanked them for the excuse me’s and we played the game again and once again, an additional chorus sounded, this time followed by laughter.  I mean, seriously, what else could we do?

With the older kids, definitely not so cute or funny.  While I don’t always hear it, I definitely know when something has happened when everyone in a certain area starts to pull the collar of their shirt over their nose.  This is when I announce that whoever is doing it needs to go use the restroom rather than subject the rest of us to their foul stench. I just love saying that because Princess Leia says it in Star Wars. With a British accent which she loses later.  But, enough of that.

Bathroom humor, bodily functions, and detailed sharing of loose teeth and war wounds are daily occurrences.  I can’t begin to count the number of times little boys have walked awkwardly to me, holding themselves and dancing as if that will really emphasize their need to use the restroom.  I usually make them wait until they ask if the MAY go the bathroom instead of “can I”.  It’s a teacher thing.  Getting them to pull up and zip up before they come out of the bathroom is a necessity as well.  After all, I saw an older gentleman at a football game come out of the bathroom still zipping a couple of weeks ago, so you can never start too early!

And just this morning, one of my 4th graders sneezed, and well, left residue all over the riser, which completely grossed out the girl sitting beside him.  While he did wipe it up, he didn’t quite meet her expectations of cleanliness by getting in all the little crevices.  A little hand sanitizer on a paper towel and problem solved.  My favorite is when you have a little one sneeze and they literally have snot dripping down their chin and they come up to ask if they can have a Kleenex.  Uh yeah, you think?

While I haven’t had anyone throw up in my room for awhile, mainly because if they even hint that they feel sick, I send them to the nurse, one of the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it), was a 2nd grader who very calmly sat on the riser, music book open to the correct page as we sang a song.  And he continued to just sit there as the vomit poured over the book like a waterfall.  Needless to say, we evacuated the room.  I thank God for custodians every day.

Today one of my 3rd grade girls walked up to me with a look of total disgust on her face.  “So and so just pulled his scab off of his arm and he’s putting his arm in my face.  I could have told her that this was actually an ancient 3rd grade boy love ritual, but instead I asked, did you tell him you didn’t like it?”  To which she replied, rather indignantly, “yes I did but he keeps on doing it!”.  Obviously he was getting the reaction he wanted.  And of course, when you ask the boy why he’s doing it all you get is “I don’t know”. Sad thing is, he probably doesn’t.

I regularly bandage ripped off scabs, bloody fingers where hangnails have been ripped out or bitten off, and blisters on toes and heels.  I can handle just about any bodily fluid without total disgust but the one thing that I hate dealing with is teeth.  “Look at my wiggly tooth, Mrs. Bush!” as they push it in and out with their tongue.  I just don’t deal with that.  Doug always took care of the boys loose teeth.  I actually had a kid ask today if they could go to the nurse because his permanent tooth was growing in.  Okay….

Then back to my kindergartners.  After all of our moving around, two of my girls took off their shoes.  When I asked them to put them back on, they explained that their feet were sweaty and stinky.  I told them they would live and that they couldn’t take their shoes off at school, all the while wishing I could take off my shoes and go around barefoot too.  Probably not a good idea however, because you never know what some child has picked off of or sneezed out of his or her body onto the carpet.  Oh well.

And yes, through it all, I and other teachers continue to teach. Teaching them about math and reading and music, but also teaching them how to have a little more self control, a little more decorum, and a little more civility in how they handle themselves and those pesky things with their bodies. Until then I suppose, we’ll keep accepting their “Oops!  Excuse me’s!”

 

There are two things during the school day that are most exciting for kids.  Recess and lunch.  Both are times for socializing with friends and getting away from the studying for a little while.  As someone who gets to do lunchroom duty every day, it gives me time to check out exactly what kids are eating.

When I was a kid, I was always what we now call a “hot lunch kid”.  I never (and I mean NEVER) took lunch from home.  My mom was a stay at home mom, so I’m not sure why exactly, but I guess giving me lunch money was easier than packing.  So, whether I liked it or not, I ate school lunch.  I had school lunch in Mississippi where I remember having gravy over rice.  Not sure why I remember that other than I really liked it for some reason. But then I like gravy on just about anything. I ate school lunch in Colorado where the lunch ladies made homemade cookies and cakes.  “Nuff said. By the time I got to Kentucky, I just ate whatever I liked on the tray.  However, by the time I got to high school, I took that lunch money and became creative.  I could go through the line, buy some “Ho Ho’s” or “Ding Dong’s” and milk and that was the lunch of champions!  The rest of the money I kept to go towards things like the latest 45 record or cassette tape.  You have to have priorities in life.

When I started teaching school, I would take my lunch usually because it was faster than going to the cafeteria and getting in line for it.  School lunch is where I developed a lasting relationship with ranch dressing, which was the only dressing available at the school I taught at in Ohio.  Then I moved to Nebraska.  I know I’ve told this story before, but as I went through the lunch line, the lunch lady asked, “Dorothy or Ranch?”.  I asked who Dorothy was.  My Nebraska friends will laugh because she was referring to Dorothy Lynch dressing, which is kind of a watered down version of French or Catalina dressing very popular in this state.  The other eye opener was cinnamon rolls with chili.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I like both, but in the south, it’s cornbread with chili.  Or maybe oyster crackers.  Cinnamon rolls are for breakfast.  But I have to admit, after living here for 17 years, I tend to want them instead of the cornbread now.  Sweet and savory!

The one staple of lunches that hasn’t seemed to change is the combination of pizza and corn.  Why pizza and corn?  I seriously don’t know.  And of course it’s canned corn, so it has that particular “cafeteria” taste we all remember from our childhood.  Today pizza is served round, square or triangular.  Not sure why, but it is.  I have this one kid who likes to pull all the cheese off with his fingers and then lick the sauce off of the crust.  Whatever works for you, kid.  There’s the traditional turkey with mashed potatoes, chicken nuggets and breakfast for lunch, complete with salad. Salad is served with every lunch (with ranch dressing of course) because most kids will eat it and I suppose it counts as a veggie.  Thanks to some good changes, a lot of fresh fruit is served and the kids like it.  Not sure when they’ll figure out that they’ll stop wasting so many apples if they would just remember that a large number of K-2 kids are losing teeth and either can’t or don’t want to eat them.

It’s the “cold” or packed lunches that are most interesting however.  I can’t tell you how many Lunchables I see now, usually the pizza kind so they can ask an adult to open the sauce packet and they can proceed to get cheese and sauce everywhere but on the little disc of dough provided.  Those little individual fruit ups are interesting too.  While the tops keep things from leaking, it’s difficult to open them without them squirting everywhere – especially mandarin oranges.  Go-gurts are annoying and not only are they brought from home, they’re now served at lunch.  Most teachers just carry scissors with them because they really don’t just zip open.  Invented by some man I’m sure. And let’s talk about those little straws in the juice boxes, especially the angled ones that you have to get in just right, like a needle searching for a blood vein.  Because if you don’t, it also squirts all over.

There are moms who pack your basic sandwich, chips, fruit, snack kind of lunch, and then there are the gourmet moms, with their little gourmet lunch boxes where every little space is filled with beautiful finger food; fruits, veggies, cheese and meats.  All it needs is wine.  Ok, maybe in about 15 years or so. And of course, there are the lunches with little encouraging notes from mom and dad.  The little ones will ask me to read them to them.  It makes me wish I had taken the time to do that for my boys as they grew up.

So, every day is a little bit of an adventure going to the lunchroom.  Today as I walked by the second grade tables, one boy reached into his lunch bag and exclaimed, “I got a half a donut!”.  Obviously mom knows how to make her son happy.  And I see a future of ho ho’s and ding dongs in his future.