I really didn’t think it was a loaded question.  I usually ask the kids what they thought of their symphony field trip and generally get positive comments in return.  Not today.  There was a mini-explosion of voices with all kinds of comments, very few of them positive.  The biggest word that kept coming through however was not really a word at all.  The word was “kiddish”.

My kids either mispronounce or make up words all the time but this was new.  When I asked them to elaborate, here was one of the explanations. “They didn’t talk to us like we were 4th graders.  They talked to us like we were 2nd graders or something.  Sometimes like Kindergarten or 1st graders.  It was too kiddish”.  Another said “they asked us easy stuff, stuff we already knew like we didn’t know anything“.

So much of the time we assume that kids are much more worldly than they used to be, whether it’s because of technology or whatever, but for some reason in music, we don’t give them enough credit for being the consumers of music that they are. After all, these kids aren’t listening to Sharon, Lois and Bram or even KidzBop like my elementary kids used to.  They consume the same music everyone else listens to, whether it’s on TV, YouTube, or Spotify and they can tell you in an instant if something is a bad arrangement of a song they know.  It’s what makes it hard to find the kinds of pop tunes they want to do in choir, for instance.  They have a certain sound in their head and if it’s done poorly they want nothing to do with it.  Of course, there has to be some explaining done in terms of music written with a soloist in mind versus with a choir, but in terms of the arrangement itself, kids are pretty savvy.  And it’s hard to find an adult arranger who doesn’t insult the kids by writing something too “cute”, just because they’re kids.

It’s the same when you get them used to listening to other genres of music and make them familiar with musical terminology. Once they learn the words, they don’t want to be spoken down to. However, the biggest thing that surprised me about our discussion was their take on the atmosphere at the symphony.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my kids are not always angels, but they remind me a lot of my own kids when they were younger.  Their behavior at home was sometimes ridiculous, but when they would go out in public to let’s say, a wedding or a concert, my kids understood that this was a circumstance where they needed to show respect and behave themselves.  I think this is what happened here.  They were floored by the behavior of other concertgoers, the yelling, the standing up by not only students but by teachers, the seemingly lack of preparation on the part of teachers in preparing their students for this event – their words. And here’s what I thought was interesting.  They put part of the blame on the “maestro” as they called him, for yelling questions at the students.  I mean, let’s be honest. I understand that we don’t want to make the symphony going experience a stiff, boring, older generational, class separating kind of thing anymore.  But at the same time, there needs to be respect paid to the hard working musicians and others who are there to hear the music.  That last statement came from my kids, not me.  I was pretty impressed.

Finally, the kids shared one more thing that surprised me.  They didn’t like the puppets, (they were “stupid” – I made them explain why and that set up another tirade), the adults talked too much and they just wanted to hear the music.  All of the music with no interruptions.  That’s the thing, we spent time studying each movement of the music in detail, we talked about respecting the musicians and how to behave at a concert, and how to dress for a concert and what they witnessed wasn’t anything they expected and they were disappointed.  I think it was because my expectation for them was to rise up to the occasion and for some reason there were adults who decided to lower their expectations because they were just kids.  It was made too “kiddish”.

We can see what happens to a society, even with adults when there are lowered expectations.  I’ve often found that when the expectations are raised that most people rise to meet them.  I know that I tend to up my game when expectations for me are high.  I consider it a challenge.  So instead of “dumbing down” things for kids, why not challenge them so that one day they will be adults we can all be proud of, capable of being kind, respectful and responsible who can also listen to and understand challenging pieces of music, none of them “kiddish”.